


drabble collection

by niallszayn



Series: drabble collections [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-03-18 22:04:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 54,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3585681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niallszayn/pseuds/niallszayn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a collection of prompts, drabbles and ficlets i posted on tumblr and wanted in one place :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. butterflies and tickles

**Author's Note:**

> so this is where i'll post all the drabbles and ficlets i have already written and posted in the past and the prompts i will write in the future. this includes a few longer ficlets i wrote (the longest one being 7k) but never shared on ao3, but will most likely only be drabbles from now on. i rarely write anything but ziall but i'll add tags should that ever change :)  
> I'd love some individual feedback so feel free to comment if you liked/disliked one drabble especially much :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this the morning after 1D Day

As soon as they left the main part of the studio and were backstage without any cameras around, Niall turned to Zayn and hissed: “You can’t just do that!”

"Do what?" Zayn acted all innocent.

"Just because the cameras aren’t directly on us anymore you can’t simply sit so close to me and touch me like that! There’s an audience out there and a whole bunch of other people who aren’t supposed to know about us."  
"But you did enjoy it" Zayn grinned cheekily.

"Of course I did, you twat! I couldn’t properly concentrate on anything afterwards!"

Zayn laughed and Niall punched his arm. “That’s not funny! I said ‘celebrity breasts’ in front of millions of probably underage girls!”

"Yeah that is actually pretty funny, babe. But to be fair you weren’t much better, you kept touching me and standing a lot closer to me than necessary. Not even talking about your laugh, I can tell you that is distracting."

Niall grinned. “Can’t say I’m sorry.”

"Knew you wouldn’t" Zayn said and grabbed the blonde by the shoulders, pushing him into a sheltered corner.

Niall didn’t complain.

"I’ve been wanting to do that for the past hour" Zayn said and then his lips were on Niall’s.

Niall’s back was pressed against the hard wall but he really could care less when Zayn’s perfectly soft lips were doing that.

He wrapped his arms around the tanned boy, pulling him even closer.

After two years of kissing Zayn he still wasn’t used to the feeling it gave him. He felt butterflies where Zayn’s hand was resting against his lower stomach.

"I love you" Zayn mumbled against his lips.

Niall playfully bit his boyfriends’ lower lip before softly kissing the same spot. “I love you too.”

Behind them, an exasperated sigh was heard. “Are you two at it again?” Louis said, trying to sound annoyed but failing.

"Go away" Zayn said and went back to kissing Niall.

"Come on lovebirds" Louis stayed persistent. "Let’s go out and watch Haz and Liam okay?"

Zayn sighed, his face pressed against Niall’s neck. “Alright, party pooper.”

Louis laughed. “I’m not gonna ask what sort of party you had planned, thank you very much.”

"None of your business anyway" Niall said grinning at his bandmate over Zayn’s head.

"I don’t want to know! But please hurry up, I do not want to explain to people what you’re doing back here."

Zayn snorted which made Niall laugh. “Stop tickling me.”

Zayn chuckled and started pressing small kisses to Niall’s neck. Niall laughed loudly. “Stop that! You need to shave before you do that.”

"You love the beard" Zayn said looking up.

"I kinda do, yeah" Niall admitted and pressed a short kiss to the corner of Zayn’s mouth. "Now come on, let’s go back out. We’ve got plenty of time for this tonight."

Zayn grinned. “Looking forward to that.”


	2. birthday texts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was written for zayn's 21st birthday while niall was having his knee operated on

_happy birthday again babe !_

**ni, we _just_  got off the phone**

_i don’t care im not done yet_

**you know i don’t mind talking to you as much as possible**

_im not interrupting anything am i ?_

**even if you were i’d make time for you babe**

**but you’re not**

_good_

_cause im really sorry i cant be there_

**no i’m sorry i can’t be there with you! you’re getting surgery and i’m not with you to hold your hand**

_its okay its not your fault ! i kno you would’ve come_

**i miss you**

_miss you too_

_im gonna tweet you for your birthday_

**keep it pg ;)**

_im lookin forward to when i wont have t ;)_

**who knows maybe by your birthday we’ll be the new neil patrick harris and whatever his husbands**   **name is**

_david burtka_

_we’d hav to get married then z_

**who says we won’t?**

_wait zayn is this your idea of a proposal ??_

**no love aha :D x**

_don’t do that_

**do what?**

_say things like that_

**don’t you want to marry me?**

_yeh of course i do ! but ya cant just say it like that your makin me nervous and i want to kiss ya when_  i  _say yes_

**that text right now was probably my best birthday present xxx**

_oh stop it, you_

**‘s true**

_wait till i get back home ;)_

**that wink tells me you’re talking about something sexual**

_damn right i am_

**stop niall im with my family**

_hmm_

_okay !_

_your loss ;)_

**can we get back to this tonight?**

_sure ! im goin on twitter now_

**“brother”?**

_couldn’t really put “love of me life” now could i_

_i put love you tho_

**i love you too xx**

**see how they’re freaking out**

_“i read about you fucking each other”_

_they agree with ya_

**just think what they’re gonna do when they find out they were right all along**

_i really miss ya. and m sorry for being away on your bday_

**love, we already talked about that, it’s okay**

_im gonna make it up t ya when i get back !_

**can’t wait! but let’s not go down that road again when there’s children in the room ;)**

_tonight xx_

_and much better when i get back home !_

**okay yeah you’re making this hard**

_this or you ? ;)_

**fuck**

_hahaha im so sorry ! ill stop texting you_

_i love you have a great day x_

**i love you more**

_give my love to your fam too !_

**they send love back, they miss you too :(**

_aw i miss em too :(_

_bye now love youu_

**bye love x**


	3. be my valentine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> teeny tiny valentine's day drabble from 2014 :)

"Remember when I gave you a rose on stage and you kissed it instead of me?"

Zayn smiled into Niall’s hair where his head was resting on Zayn’s chest. “I do.”

"That was unfair though, y’have no idea how much I wanted to kiss ya after that."

"Pretty sure you showed me exactly how much the moment we left the stage, Ni."

Niall chuckled and pressed his lips to Zayn’s collarbone. “I did, yeh.”

"Why are you thinking about that now, though?"

Niall was silent for a bit and Zayn started rubbing up and down his back, feeling that something was bothering the blonde.

"I was just thinking…since valentine’s day is coming up…"

Zayn stiffened a little and frowned. “Baby, you know we can’t…”

"No, I know, Zee. And I know that everyone makes a huge deal of it, having a valentine and everything. But I’ve been thinking, and I really don’t need all of this. Of course, it’d be nice to spend the day together and do all the cliché couple-y stuff, but in the end, it’s a day just like any other. You always spoil me anyways. I don’t need valentine’s day to know you love me and I love you."

Zayn threaded his fingers through Niall’s hair, scratching lightly. “Yeah?”

"Yeah." Niall propped his chin up on Zayn’s shoulder, pressing a kiss to his chin.

"I’ll be your valentine every day for as long as you want me to" Zayn murmured with a small smile.

"You’ll have a full time job for life then."

"Who wouldn’t want that?" Zayn asked and pressed his lips to Niall’s in a sweet kiss. When he pulled away, he smirked. "Just one thing…what would my benefits in this be?"

"Oh" Niall made, his eyes widening innocently, but his hand made its way down Zayn’s chest and stomach intently. "I’m sure we can figure something out."


	4. when the rain begins to fall

When the rain begins to fall, they’re still quite some time away from home.

It’s not really summer anymore, but not yet autumn either, and the air gets chilly as the rain drowns the sun’s warmth.

They’re running, holding on to each other’s hands, laughing. Niall’s the first to stop, trying to catch his breath. Zayn stops with him, his eyes crinkling as his laughter turns into a wide smile, his tongue pressing against the back of his teeth.

"We’re gonna fall sick, Zee, you’re gonna see" Niall grins, straightening up and wiping the rain off his forehead in a useless gesture, considering it’s still pouring down.

“I’ll make tea when we get home and then we can get out of our wet clothes and cuddle under a blanket until we’re warm again” Zayn says. “I won’t let you catch a cold, baby.”

“Cuddle without our clothes?” Niall smirks. “That’s not gonna be cuddling.”

Zayn chuckles. “Fine with me.”

Niall looks at him and starts spinning around in a circle, arms stretched out, face to upward into the rain. He’s laughing, not holding back in the slightest.

Zayn watches him with a fond smile and thinks that he really doesn’t need the sun when he’s with Niall. Niall is his very own sunshine.

Before too long Niall starts to feel dizzy from all the spinning and stumbles, falling into Zayn’s arms when he takes a step towards his boyfriend in just the right moment. The blonde looks up a little dazed.

“Thanks” he breathes. “For catching me.”

“I’ll always catch you” Zayn says just as quietly and leans down to capture Niall’s lips in a soft kiss.

When he pulls back, Niall makes a whining sound and moves with Zayn, chasing his lips. “Isn’t it like everyone’s dream to kiss passionately in the rain?” he complains when Zayn only chuckles.

“Maybe, but I’d rather get you into our warm and dry flat and kiss you passionately there.”

“Combined with the cuddling without clothes?”

“Sounds about right.”

Niall pulls Zayn’s head down again, connecting their lips in a heated kiss, surprising Zayn. When he pulls away soon after, they’re both breathless.

“I kinda got my passionate kiss in the rain, now we can work on yours.”

Zayn laughs and grabs his hand. “What are we waiting for?”


	5. kiss drabbles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all the prompts i got for a post where people could choose different types of kisses :)

**collarbone kiss, chest kiss, belly kiss**

“No, Zayn” Niall said, sternly crossing his arms in front of his chest. “You didn’t come, and I’m mad at you.”

“I know, baby, and I’m so sorry. But you also know that’s just not my scene.”

“Not your scene” Niall huffed, plopping down onto their sofa, the frown still on his face. “And you couldn’t get out of your comfort zone just a little bit? For me? This was an important day for me.”

Zayn carefully sat down next to him, tucking his right leg under his body, knee touching Niall’s thigh. When Niall didn’t move away, he tentatively placed a hand on his knee.

“This game meant a lot to you, and I’m really sorry I wasn’t there to support you. I should’ve been.”

“Damn right you should’ve” Niall growled, pushing his hand away again.

“Please, Ni, let me try to explain. We’ve played three huge shows in Dublin this weekend, plus a smaller one in Glasgow, and I feel kind of drained. I know you and the other boys thrive off the noise and the energy, but it’s just not like that for me. After a few days like this, I just needed time for myself, I couldn’t bear the thought of being near another crowd.” He paused, watching Niall’s face. It seemed softer than before, and he leaned forward slowly, pressing a light kiss to Niall’s collarbone, where his shirt had slipped down a bit. “Can you forgive me? I was egoistic and I hate having missed your big day, but I was crossing my fingers for you the whole time.”

“We lost anyway” Niall mumbled, but his voice no longer held an edge.

“Aw, babe, I’m sorry.” Zayn carefully moved so he was pushing Niall down onto his back, slipping his hands under his t-shirt as he went. “Let me make you forget about it?”

He pushed Niall’s shirt up, pressing a series of kisses along Niall’s chest, chuckling when the younger boy shivered.

“Yeah, alright” Niall whispered, carding his hands through Zayn’s hair already.

“I love you, you know that?” Zayn murmured, lips pressed against the soft skin around Niall’s belly button.

Niall hummed. “Love you too.”

* * *

 

**hip kiss**

Niall let out a low moan as Zayn mouthed along the hem of his boxers, peeking out from underneath his jeans.

Zayn hummed and moved to his left hipbone jutting out, biting softly at it before sucking sharply, undoubtedly creating a bruise.

“To be honest” Niall mused, pushing his hips off the mattress when Zayn kissed along them to get to the other side. “I don’t even have to think about getting a tattoo, I’m constantly covered in  _your_  marks anyway.”

Zayn looked up at him through his eyelashes, a lazy grin on his pink lips, while he slowly dragged his hand up the inside of Niall’s thigh. “I like this kind better on you anyway.”

* * *

 

**forehead kiss**

“You sure you’re warm enough?” Niall asked, worriedly tucking the blanket tighter around Zayn another time.

“Absolutely” Zayn croaked, unable to keep another coughing fit in.

“I’ll make you some more tea” Niall said, pushing Zayn’s hair off his forehead. “We need to get you back on your feet before the next show. D’you need anything else?”

“No, ‘m fine” the darker lad mumbled sleepily. “Love you.”

“Love you more” Niall smiled gently, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to Zayn’s unusually warm forehead. “I’ll bring you your tea and then you can get some more sleep, alright?”

* * *

 

**chest kiss**

“How long have you been walking around outside shirtless?” Niall asked when Zayn arrived back inside their hotel room.

“Um” Zayn made, looking at him confused. “I’m not sure, why?”

“Nothing special, it’s just-“ Niall hesitated. “I just saw Harry and I were photographed at the pool yesterday, so you probably were too.”

“Oh.” Zayn crossed the space between them, standing right in front of Niall where his boyfriend was sat on the edge of their bed. “I guess my twitter interactions are going to be interesting then.”

Niall only hummed and placed his hands on Zayn’s hips, thumb idly tracing the gun tattooed on his side.

“What’s wrong, babe?” Zayn asked, tapping the blonde’s chin to make him look up.

“Nothing” Niall shrugged. “Only…I guess I got jealous? Or possessive?” He lowered his gaze again, focusing on the heart on Zayn’s hip this time. “I just don’t really want all those girls staring at you like that. You’re mine, you know?”

Zayn’s hand found its way to the nape of Niall’s neck, playing with the short hair there. “’m not gonna lie, I like that possessive side of you. And if I remember correctly, you left something on my back to mark your territory last night.”

Niall smirked, sliding his hands up Zayn’s bare back to trace the scratch marks that were still clearly visible on his tan skin. “Guess I did, didn’t I?”

He stretched a little, planting a firm kiss against the red lips tattooed to the centre of Zayn’s chest. “Maybe I should mark you some more.”

* * *

 

**jawline kiss**

„Are you gonna shave today?“ Niall mumbled, words slurred against Zayn’s jaw.

They were in bed, still at least halfway asleep, limbs entangled under the sheets.

“D’you reckon I should?”

“Nah” the blonde grinned, dragging his lips along the underside of his boyfriend’s jaw. “Y’know I like the stubble.”

“S’more than stubble now though” Zayn said, a smile playing on his lips, while his eyes were still closed.

“I like the beard too.” Pressing small kisses along Zayn’s jawline, he finally settled with his head on the older lads chest. “’specially the burn it gives me when you –“

He yelped when Zayn flipped them over, so he was hovering above Niall. “Speaking of that…”

* * *

 

**forceful kiss**

"Will you please stop being all over me like that" Zayn hissed as soon as they got off stage in a rush of adrenaline and excitement.

"Why?" Niall challenged him, turning around with his eyebrows raised. "Do I make you uncomfortable? You’re the one that’s been pretty much ignoring me lately."

"You acting like that won’t make it any easier or better" Zayn said, taking a step towards Niall. "Besides, don’t blame this on me now. It’s not like you’ve been very generous with your attention, always messing about with Harry and stuff."

"Oh, so now it’s  _my_  fault?” Niall asked, aggravated.

"Well it’s not mine either!"

Niall huffed, narrowing his eyes at him. “You’re being such a prick right now, you know that?”

"Ugh" Zayn made, taking another step towards the blonde, crowding into his space. "Sometimes I really hate you."

He grabbed Niall’s neck and yanked him in for a forceful kiss, their teeth clashing painfully.

Niall fisted the front of the older lad’s shirt tightly, pulling him even closer harshly, eagerly licking into his mouth.

When they pulled apart, breathing heavily, Niall took a step back.

"We should probably talk about this" he said. "Maybe somewhere a bit more private, though."

Zayn could only nod, his eyes trained on Niall’s shiny, swollen lips.

The younger boy ignored him though, turning away to leave the room.

"Niall" Zayn called after him, finally finding his voice again. "I don’t really hate you, alright?"

"Yeah" Niall said, looking back at him over his shoulder, the hint of a smile finally back on his face. "Yeah, I know."


	6. angsty drabbles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another tumblr post for angsty drabbles. here's the prompts from the requests i got :)

**_Ziall and "I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere."_ **

"If we keep going like this, we’re both gonna say things we’ll regret. So I’m leaving."

Niall could still hear the last words Zayn had said to him before the door closed behind him with a final sound, leaving Niall to stare at it with the tears still running down his face.

_Think I made a huge mistake can you call me or come over please_

He’d sent the text to Harry fifteen minutes ago but still hadn’t received a reply. Harry had probably left his phone lying around somewhere again and didn’t even look at it.

Niall for his part was curled up into a ball on the sofa, eyes trained on the door. If he stared hard enough, maybe he could will Zayn to come back.

It was stupid really, the whole fight. Niall  _knew_  that Zayn hated the whole Perrie situation just as much as he did, and that there wasn’t anything he could do against it.

The thing was just that there’d been so many rumours her and Zayn had gotten married recently, and it hurt. A lot.

So Niall had brought it up and things had escalated, causing Zayn to leave after they’d yelled at each other for an entirely too long time.

What if Zayn had finally had enough of his clingy and jealous behaviour?

He’d already gone through half a pack of Kleenex, but the tears just wouldn’t stop spilling over. He’d never been so scared this was the end before. Zayn had never walked out on him before, but they’d never fought like this before either.

A dry sob escaped from Niall’s throat and he pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes in a feeble attempt to stop the tears from coming.

He didn’t  _know_  if Zayn would break up with him, and he didn’t want to believe it - Zayn loved him, he wasn’t in a position to doubt that. But there was only so much a person could take, and Niall was scared he’d pushed Zayn past that point tonight.

Niall checked his phone again - still no reply from Harry. His thumb hovered over Zayn’s contact, indecisive. He didn’t know if he should call Zayn or if that would only make it worse. Zayn hadn’t called either after all.

Then again, Zayn always said he should talk to him, tell him what was bothering him or what was on his mind. He wanted to know these things. And this was definitely something that was bothering him.

He pressed the call button.

And got sent straight to voicemail.

Niall choked back the sob that threatened to escape at that, but decided to leave a message anyway. Zayn declining his call hurt like hell, but he still wanted him to know a few things.

"Zayn…" he started, his voice already cracking embarrassingly. “I know you’re angry and I get why you don’t wanna talk to me. I’m sorry I’m so clingy and annoying and jealous and I keep bringing this whole thing up but I just want you to know that I love you, more than anything. I’m gonna try to get better, but please,  _please_  don’t leave me.” He had to take a break to steady his voice, trying to keep his words understandable. “Please, I can’t do this without you. And I know that sounds clingy again, I’m sorry. I love you, please come back. I love you.”

He ended the call when it became harder to form coherent sentences and threw his phone across the room, his desperate sobs echoing around the room.

He felt pathetic.

"Niall. Niall."

The sound of his name being called came through to Niall through the strange haze he seemed to have slipped into and he slowly returned to consciousness enough to feel soft hands cradling his face carefully.

"Ni, baby, look at me."

Zayn. Niall squeezed his eyes shut tighter when he recognised the voice. Was he dreaming?

"Ni, it’s me, please will you open your eyes?"

Fingers touching his face, brushing away the wetness under his eyes, feeling too real to be a dream. Niall’s eyes snapped open.

"Zayn" he breathed. "You came back."

"Of course I did, baby. Oh god, when I listened to your voicemail…I really only meant I was going outside for a while to clear my head because I was scared of what I might say if we went on. I’d never leave you."

"You wouldn’t?" Niall asked, looking up at him with hopeful eyes.

Zayn stood up from where he was kneeling in front of Niall and joined him on the couch, pulling the younger boy into his lap. Niall curled into his chest and pressed his nose against Zayn’s neck, breathing in his scent.

"I love you" Zayn whispered, hands caressing Niall’s back as he kissed the top of his head. "I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere."

Niall smiled and pressed his lips to Zayn’s throat in a soft kiss. “I love you so much. I’m sorry for all the things I said.”

"I’m sorry too. It shouldn’t have gotten this out of hand, but I know this is gonna be a cause of tension until it’s finally over. I just want you to know that you’re the only one I’ve ever loved like this. Ever."

"I do" Niall whispered, leaning back a few inches to look at Zayn. "I do know that."

Zayn smiled and kissed the side of his mouth. “I’m sorry I made you cry.”

Niall shrugged. “You know I’m quite teary.”

Zayn chuckled. “I know, but I’d so much rather make you smile. I only ever want to make you smile.”

"See" Niall said, smiling at him. "You’re already doing that. And if you kiss me now, I’ll even forget I was crying in the first place."

Zayn laughed and leaned forward to do just that.

When Niall found his phone in the corner of the lounge the next morning, there was a text from Harry.

_I really really could’ve gone without seeing you ride Zayn on a sofa I’ve sat on before, but I’m glad everything seems to be alright again._

* * *

 

**__Hello yes i would like "Shit, are you bleeding?" with Zayn and Niall please and thank you. Ily :)_ _ **

 

"Niall?" Zayn asked, rubbing his eyes blearily as he opened the door. Niall was his best friend, but being woken up in the middle of the night wasn’t exactly enjoyable. "What are you doing here at arse o’clock in the morning? I was asleep."

"Sorry, I…I can go again."

The tone of Niall’s voice woke Zayn up, worriedly glancing at the boy standing in the dark hallway of his apartment building. He sounded as if he had cried or was about to cry.

"No, don’t be stupid, I’m already awake anyway. Is everything okay?"

He pulled Niall into his apartment and closed the door behind him before turning back to the blond and gasping when he saw him in the light. “Shit, are you bleeding?”

He grabbed Niall’s wrist and pulled him further into the light to inspect his face more closely.

"Oh my god Ni, what happened to you?"

Niall’s face looked terrible, there was a dark bruise forming on his jaw and one around his eye, and his lip was split, the dried blood colouring his chin reddish brown.

Instead of answering, Niall let out a sob and Zayn’s heart clenched painfully. Seeing Niall anything but happy felt wrong, but this was a whole new level.

He pulled the boy into his arms, holding him tightly and rubbing soothing circles into his back.

He let Niall cry into his shirt for a while, not even registering the fact that it stained his shoulder red with Niall’s blood.

After a couple of minutes, he almost carried Niall over to the sofa continuing to comfort him as much as he could, feeling helpless against the boy’s tears.

"Are you gonna be alright for a minute?" Zayn asked quietly when Niall’s sobs turned into hiccups. "I wanna get something to clean you up."

Niall nodded against his chest and then curled in on himself to let Zayn get up.

When Zayn got back with a damp cloth and some ointment to soothe the swelling, Niall had sat up and looked at him, bottom lip jutting out.

"How bad do I look?" he asked.

"Bit banged up" Zayn said and kneeled down in front of him. "A little more badass than usual."

Niall chuckled. “Are you saying I usually look innocent?”

Zayn shrugged. “Kind of.”

Niall looked at him thoughtfully but didn’t say anything. Zayn looked back at him for a few seconds, trying to interpret his silence and at the same time doing his best not to stare at him too obviously.

The blood and bruises looked a bit scary, but he was still so pretty it kind of took Zayn’s breath away. His eyes were so blue and wide and his skin looked even paler and his lips even pinker in contrast to his injuries.

Zayn blinked and tried to snap out of it. He knew this wasn’t the way he should be thinking about his best friend, but he was way past the point of denying the fact he was in love with Niall and had been for quite some time. Not that Niall knew about it.

Niall was still looking at him but Zayn tried to focus, lifting the cloth to gently dab at Niall’s face, trying to wipe away the blood without causing him any pain.

"Hold still" he whispered when Niall winced, grabbing his chin to steady him while he cleaned the cut in his lip.

After he’d taken care of Niall’s face, Zayn got up to take a seat next to him.

"So…d’you wanna talk about what happened?" he asked carefully, lifting a hand to run it through Niall’s hair, tugging on the strands lightly. Niall let his eyes fall shut, leaning into Zayn’s touch.

"I went out with Liam tonight" he started, his voice low. "Just the pub, nothing special. And when we left I said goodbye like I always do, you know, kiss on the cheek and "love you", I always do that."

Zayn nodded because he did know that, still caressing Niall’s scalp in the hope of comforting him.

"And when I started walking home I thought I heard someone behind me so I walked faster, but the steps were definitely following me."

Zayn’s hand stilled in Niall’s hair as his heartbeat quickened. He let his hand drop down from Niall’s head to his shoulder, pulling him closer and hugging him to his chest.

"It was a guy" Niall whispered, his voice shaking slightly. "A big one. He started calling me names, started out with "fairy" and kept getting worse and I just snapped. I know…I know I should’ve kept calm and tried to get away, but I was so  _mad_ , Zayn. I’m not even sure what I said anymore, but it made him angry enough to start beating me up.”

Niall’s voice broke and Zayn hugged him more tightly, feeling his own throat close up.

"Niall" he whispered, pressing his lips to the top of his head. "I’m so sorry."

"I had no chance" Niall continued, his fingers twisted in Zayn’s shirt now. "I don’t know how far he would’ve gone if he hadn’t been interrupted. He took off when a group of a few guys noticed what was going on. They offered to take me to the hospital but I…the only place I wanted to go was here."

Zayn’s hand on Niall’s back stilled, and Niall didn’t look up.

He hated when things like this happened, he just never knew if Niall was implying anything or if it was just wishful thinking born from his long time crush.

"I’m glad you came here" was what he settled on saying, resuming the movements of his hand on Niall’s back.

Niall hummed and nuzzled his neck, mumbling: “Thanks for being there for me.”

Zayn smiled, kissing the top of his head again. “Always, Ni.”

He moved to press his lips against Niall’s temple next, not quite able to keep himself from doing so.

Niall didn’t say anything and Zayn took what he could get and stayed where he was, nose buried in Niall’s hair and lips resting against his temple.

"Zayn" Niall whispered eventually, pulling back slowly.

Zayn closed his eyes so he didn’t have to see the look on Niall’s face when he rejected him.

"Zayn" Niall said again, and suddenly his fingers were skidding across Zayn’s cheek lightly, causing his eyes to snap open.

Niall was looking straight at him again, much like he had when Zayn had taken care of his face earlier, and it made Zayn’s heart plummet before it started racing in his chest.

He licked his lips nervously, watching as Niall’s eyes tracked the movement.

He couldn’t believe it. But Niall’s eyes stayed trained on his lips, his own parted slightly, and Zayn couldn’t resist anymore.

He leaned forward and connected their lips, very lightly so he wouldn’t hurt Niall, but with enough intent so he’d know he meant it.

Niall made a soft noise and pressed closer, his hand slipping from Zayn’s cheek to the hair at the back of his head.

They kissed softly and carefully until Niall pulled away, resting his forehead against Zayn’s.

"Maybe I’ll have to get into fights more often if this is what comes from it" Niall chuckled.

Zayn tightened his grip in Niall’s waist and moved to kiss him once more.

"Believe me, I would’ve kissed you any time you’d asked, this wasn’t about the fight. And I promise you, I’ll do anything so something like this doesn’t ever happen again. If you let me."

“Yeah” Niall breathed, shuffling until he was sat comfortably in Zayn’s lap. “Yeah, I’ll let you.”

* * *

 

**_Ill send you some more - ziall and "Shh, c’mere…"_ **

Zayn woke up from his light and uncomfortable sleep when Niall’s hand twitched in his. He had a crick in his neck but sat up straighter anyway, watching his boyfriend’s face intently.

He could see his eyes moving behind closed eyelids, but he didn’t know whether it meant he was dreaming or waking up.

Either way, it was a change and probably meant the meds he’d been given were wearing off. Which sent Zayn’s mind into overdrive again. What if he was in pain and that was the reason his eyes were moving so much?

The doctors had said it’d be alright, that Niall wouldn’t be in too much pain after he woke up and that everything would be fine, but who said they couldn’t be wrong?

When Zayn had gotten the call from the hospital, he’d felt like his world was crumbling. The words “Are you Zayn Malik? You’re listed as Niall Horan’s emergency contact” had almost given him a heart attack.

For a few seconds, he’d thought his life was over, until the nurse on the other hand had explained that Niall was alright.

He’d been in an accident, just an innocent bystander in the wrong place at the wrong time and yet the only person suffering more than a few bruises.

"It’s his knee" the nurse had explained. "It was already in bad shape anyway, and the pressure from the accident caused it to finally snap. He’s being prepared for surgery now, but you could come to the hospital once it’s over so he has someone there when he wakes up."

Zayn had gone straight away of course, waiting around in the hallways until Niall’s surgery was done.

"It all went well" the doctor had told him. "He’ll wake up from the anaesthesia in a while, but he’s getting infusions against the pain regularly through a tube in his hand, so he won’t feel anything. It’s possible he’ll be a bit dazed at first, but nothing major there either."

And so Zayn had been sitting by Niall’s side for the past hour or so, desperately waiting for him to wake up.

Niall’s hand twitched again and Zayn watched as his eyelashes fluttered.

"Wake up, baby" he whispered, pressing his lips to his boyfriend’s knuckles. "Wake up, I’m here. You’re fine."

"Z?" Niall croaked groggily.

"Yeah, it’s me, love."

Niall blinked slowly, his gaze unfocused. “What -?”

"You were in an accident, remember? You’re fine though, they fixed your knee up again."

Niall groaned and was quiet for a minute, but when he opened his eyes again, he seemed more awake than before.

"How are you feeling?" Zayn asked, squeezing his hand.

"Bit like I’m lying on a cloud" Niall mumbled. “‘m fine, I don’t hurt anywhere. What about my knee?"

"I can’t give you the details" Zayn shrugged sheepishly, "but they said it’s gonna be as good as new with a bit of physical therapy."

"Oh, good" Niall mumbled again, still seeming a bit dazed, but his eyes were fixed on Zayn now. "Why’re you looking at me like that?"

"I just" Zayn paused, clearing his throat. "When I got that call, I…I thought you were dead, Niall. For a second, I really thought someone had taken you from me. And I - you’re everything to me, yeah? I love you more than anything."

"I love you too" Niall whispered, bringing his hand up to Zayn’s face. "Please stop crying, baby, I’m okay. See? I’m fine."

Zayn hadn’t even noticed he’d started crying, but he couldn’t really seem to stop either. It was as if everything he’d kept in the whole day just wanted out.

He covered Niall’s hand on his face with his own, kissing the soft inside of his wrist.

"Shh" Niall made, shuffling on the small hospital bed so there was some space next to him. "C’mere."

Carefully, Zayn climbed onto the bed, letting Niall pull him down next to him.

With his head on Niall’s chest he lay there, listening to his boyfriend’s steady heartbeat.

 

 


	7. girl direction prompts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two prompts i got for girl direction month last year!

_**Yes it is Girl Direction Month!! =D May I prompt you with Ziall going grocery shopping? ♥!** _

"Do you  _have_  to dye it again?” Zayn whined from where she was leaning on the shopping trolley behind Niall. “I like how it looks.” 

"It looks shit, Zayn" Niall disagreed. "It just looks as if I’m too lazy to hide the roots. I have to dye it some colour, why not the one everyone’s gotten used to?" 

"Maybe exactly because of that. Aren’t you bored? Not that I’m saying you’re not beautiful like this, cause you are, babe, but maybe something more exciting would be nice for a change. You could go pink." 

"Pink?" Niall laughed. "Wouldn’t that look weird, you all dark with your tats and red lipstick and me bubblegum pink?" 

"I think we’d look great, kind of artsy." 

"Oh, is this what it’s about?" Niall teased. "Do you need us to be an artsy couple so we can compete with all of your artsy friends?" 

She’d taken a few steps towards Zayn while she talked, until she could place her hands on top of her girlfriends’ on the rail of the trolley. 

"Fuck you" Zayn said without heat, wrestling her hands out from under Niall’s so she could hook her fingers in Niall’s belt loops to pull her closer. 

"Getting indecent in front of the hair dye?" Niall chuckled before stretching up to press her lips to Zayn’s softly. 

"I wasn’t saying anything about indecency, but if you insist…" Zayn’s hands wandered along Niall’s hips until she could shove them into the back pockets of her shorts. 

Niall grinned against her lips and kissed her more purposefully now. 

"Uh…excuse me?" 

They broke apart a bit startled to find a slightly flustered middle aged lady looking at them. 

Niall felt Zayn’s hands tighten on her waist and knew what the other girl expected. 

"I don’t want to interrupt" the woman said and smiled apologetic, immediately making Zayn’s rigid posture relax next to Niall. "But you’re blocking the way to the hair dye I need." 

"Oh, sure, sorry!" Niall said and moved them out of the way. "Must’ve lost track there for a second." 

"Don’t worry, I know what it’s like to be young and in love" she smiled and pushed her trolley past them. 

"Oops" Zayn mouthed and Niall laughed, kissing her once more before backing away to grab the pink hair dye. 

"You’re doing the pink?" Zayn asked excitedly. 

"Just for you, babe" Niall grinned, skipping ahead a few steps. "And because it’ll look sick." 

Zayn shook her head fondly and followed her cheerful girlfriend towards the frozen foods aisle she was obviously heading towards. 

"Get something else this time, Niall, we’ve had pizza three times this week already!" she called, already knowing it was hopeless. 

"You can’t have pizza too much" Niall replied, waiting for her to catch up. "Besides, we’re poor uni students, we can’t afford anything else." 

"If you say so" Zayn gave in with a grin and Niall smacked a kiss to her cheek before going off to find the pizza she felt like today. 

It always ended like this, Zayn trying to get Niall to accept a more healthy diet at times, only to give in to Niall’s kisses and puppy eyes anyway. 

"Can we get some ice cream too?" Niall asked when they were headed towards self checkout. 

"Sure" Zayn shrugged. "I want chocolate fudge brownie please, babe." 

"I know, that’s what you always take, baby" Niall smiled. "I’ll meet you at the checkout?" 

"Yep, love you." 

"I love you too."  

Niall’s smile was blinding as she turned around to get the ice cream and Zayn watched her for a moment until she disappeared in another aisle before she shook herself out of it, using the time to sneak some fruit and vegetables into their trolley. 

* * *

 

**_hiiiii for girl!direction month you should totally write one where ziall are on some high school or college sports team together (idc what sport) and theyre not together but its sort of assumed by everyone that they will be one day and at practice theyre on opposite teams for a scrimage and they get really competitive and aggressive in the heat of the moment and the coach like tells them to go home for the day to collect themselves and instead they end up making out in the locker room :)_ **

"I’m free!" Niall shouted, picking up pace and running towards the goal. "Goddammit Lou, pass me the ball!"

Instead of listening, Louis kept going, keeping the ball close to her foot, until she kicked, aiming for the goal.

Harry, who was goalkeeper today, only had to extend one of her gangly arms to catch the ball easily, triumphantly shaking her curls from out of her eyes.

Next to her, Zayn grinned at Niall smugly.

"Tough luck, Horan."

Niall glared at her, tightening her hairband. “Shut it, Malik.”

Zayn only laughed and it made Niall even angrier, because she looked so unfairly beautiful, even if she was being mean.

Niall made a rude gesture her way, turning away and pretending not to notice how their coach glared at her.

She walked up to Louis just as Harry prepared to kick off again.

"You should’ve passed the ball to me" she said reproachful.

"Whatever" Louis shrugged. "At least you got to flirt with Zayn this way."

"I don’t even  _want_  to flirt with her, why won’t you let that go? I don’t like her, she’s a right arse.”

"Only on the pitch" Louis argued. "And if you’re on opposite teams for practice. During games you’re always the first one she goes up to hug if she scores."

Niall groaned and jogged towards the middle of the field, deciding to ignore Louis.

The whole team assumed she and Zayn were secretly dating, and it was fucking annoying.

Mostly because Niall sometimes wished it was true.

Like fifty percent of the time.

Or maybe ninety.

The thing was, they constantly teased each other if they played against each other during practice, but they were a great team when they played together.

During parties and after games, they were too touchy-feely to be entirely platonic, but it had never led to anything.

Zayn was often flirting with people, and Niall wasn’t exactly shy herself.

When it came to Zayn, though, she was.

The other girl intimidated her with her beauty and her tattoos and her intelligence and her quiet wit.

Off the pitch, Zayn was usually quiet, not necessarily shy, but not outgoing either.

She was really into art and comic books and other books and so different from all the other girls Niall knew, it fascinated her to no end.

When Zayn had joined the footie team, Niall had already been watching her for a whole school year. They were fourteen and she was still trying to figure out what it meant that this dark, quiet girl had captured her interest so much more than all the boys her friends were constantly on about.

She’d been thrilled at the possibility of getting to know Zayn, but somehow - Niall had no idea why or how to change it - teasing and arguing had become their way of communicating.

Angrily, Niall charged for the ball again, meaning to catapult it right across Harry’s head between the goalposts, but once more, it didn’t work out.

This time it was Zayn, of all people, who blocked her way, managing to kick the ball away from Niall towards Liam, who passed the ball back to Zayn.

Niall hissed and ran after Zayn, determined to win the ball back.

The darker girl noticed, taking her time to smirk at Niall, before kicking - and striking.

Niall let out a yell of frustration and met Louis’ gaze across the pitch.

She was a sore loser.

Especially if it was Zayn who did the winning, who scored goals even though she was meant to be a defender.

She shouldn’t even have gotten there!

The next time she came across Zayn, it was in front of the opposite goal again.

This time, Niall knew she  _had_  to score if she wanted to leave the pitch with her pride intact, but then Zayn appeared right next to her again, smug look still on her face.

Niall could see she was planning to take the ball off her and swerved sideways, trying to get out her reach.

Zayn grabbed the back of her jersey, not really pulling yet, but Niall tried hitting her arm anyway.

This only seemed to encourage the other girl, who did pull this time, just once, but hard enough to make Niall stumble and lose the ball.

"What the fuck?" Niall mumbled, and then, louder, turning around, "What the fuck?!"

Zayn was about to walk away but Niall grabbed her arm, making her turn around wide-eyed.

"Do you even know how to play football?" she spat, not letting go of Zayn’s upper arm.

The darker girl’s eyes narrowed when she tried freeing herself with no success, but she didn’t reply.

"You can’t just keep…doing that!"

"Doing what, Horan? Defending? That’s what I’m supposed to do."

"You’re not defending, though!" Niall was yelling now. "You’re targeting me, and you’re not playing fair!"

"I’m not targeting anyone, just because you don’t stand a chance against me. Sucks being you."

Niall stared at her for a second, spluttering.

"You…you…"

She couldn’t even find an insult anymore, and Zayn still looked as if she was enjoying this and she was so  _angry_  -

And then Zayn shoved at her shoulder in attempt to make her let go and Niall lost it.

She growled and shoved her back, watching in satisfaction as Zayn’s eyes widened.

Niall was dimly aware of the rest of their team watching as they continued shoving each other, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.

Her mind was entirely occupied with Zayn.

"Horan! Malik!"

Niall only registered their coach yelling at them when he grabbed them by a shoulder each, keeping them at arm’s length.

"Have you lost your minds? We’ve got a championship game in a couple of weeks and we’re only gonna win that as a team, I don’t need you two bashing each other’s heads in!" He let go of the girls when they stopped struggling and crossed his arms to look at them with narrowed eyes. "Whatever your problem is, sort it out. You’re both banned from practice for today. You can go home, cool down."

Niall felt her shoulders sag as she started walking towards the locker room with her head bent, Zayn not too far behind her.

"And no more shoving!" their coach shouted after them.

Of course Zayn didn’t listen, kicking against Niall’s heels from behind, making her trip.

Niall hissed but kept going, waiting until the building with the locker rooms sheltered them enough to turn around and shove Zayn once more.

"Keep your hands off me" she growled, and Zayn stared at her.

Suddenly, Niall felt like all the air had been sucked from the room.

Zayn’s eyes were dark and blown wide, her cheeks flushed and her hair wild. She looked beautiful and so sexy that Niall had to take a step back to keep herself from touching.

However, Zayn followed her, getting too close for comfort even though Niall kept backing away.

When her back hit the lockers behind her, Zayn didn’t stop, crowding into her personal space, bracketing her by putting her hands against the lockers on both sides of Niall’s head.

"You annoy the shit out of me" she said darkly, and she was so close that Niall could smell her deodorant and the underlying sweat.

"Says you" Niall gave back, but somehow it didn’t sound quite as angry as she’d wanted it to.

"You’ve gotten us both banned from practice!" Zayn accused, and suddenly it wasn’t hard at all anymore to be angry.

"Me?! Who started the whole thing? That was you, Zayn, I let you go ahead until I couldn’t ignore it anymore, this is all _your_  fault!”

"Oh my god" Zayn groaned. "I can’t believe you’re trying to blame this all on me. What’s wrong with you?"

Just like that, as quickly as the anger had come, it dissipated again, giving space to the hurt she felt at Zayn’s words.

This was what Zayn thought of her, it was all she’d ever get.

Maybe this realisation would finally make the crush go away.

"Can you please let go of me" she said without looking up, her tone resigned.

Zayn didn’t move and Niall frowned, reaching for Zayn’s wrist and tugging on it, trying to get out.

Her grip loosened when Zayn took her hand away from the locker, but before Niall had time to move, said hand was suddenly fisting a handful of her hair, tilting her face upwards and then her lips crashed down onto Niall’s.

The blonde made a small surprised sound but all thoughts were chased from her mind when she felt Zayn’s tongue prodding against her lips.

Niall’s arms did their own thing, wrapping around Zayn and pulling her closer as she opened up willingly.

Zayn’s hand left her hair, roaming downwards along her body, touching her waist, her hip, her butt, down to the back of her thigh, gripping her leg to hitch it up, so she fit between Niall’s legs better.

Niall moaned quietly and wrapped her leg around the back of Zayn’s, shoving both hands under her jersey.

Zayn arched into her touch, pulling back so Niall could pull her top off.

Without the shirt, Niall could finally examine Zayn’s tattoos more closely, not just with secretive glances from afar while they were changing.

She traced them softly, smiling when Zayn shivered, before she placed her lips on Zayn’s collarbone, sliding them along the tattoo there to her shoulder, kissing lightly.

"Niall…" Zayn mumbled and Niall lifted her head, suddenly remembering this was  _Zayn_.

"Hey" she whispered, unsure of what the protocol was. Until a few minutes ago she’d thought she wasn’t anything to the girl.

Zayn smiled, softer than Niall had ever seen, and cupped her cheek, swiping her thumb under Niall’s eye.

"Hi."

"Um" Niall made, her own fingers rubbing circles into the skin just above Zayn’s hip. "So…what does this mean? You don’t hate me?"

"You thought I hated you?" Zayn asked. "I always hoped we were only teasing because we secretly liked each other."

"Yeah, well, that’s what it was like for me" Niall admitted quietly.

"Yeah?" Zayn asked, tucking a strand of hair behind Niall’s ear. "I like you, too."

"You never said."

"Neither did you."

Niall chuckled and reached for Zayn’s shirt to give it back to her.

"What are you doing?"

"Put it back on" Niall said. "I wanna take you on a proper date first."

Zayn grinned and did as she was told before dropping a kiss to Niall’s lips.

"If that was you asking me out, I’d love to go on a date with you."

"Some way of sorting our problem out, huh?" Niall smirked.

"Coach’s gonna be happy" Zayn agreed.

Niall took her hand and tangled their fingers, watching Zayn’s smile spread and returning her squeeze.

"Not as happy as me."


	8. i go around a time or two (just to waste my time with you)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> niall and zayn are secretly dating. high school au.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is from a [prompt](http://kissingziall.tumblr.com/post/105101620745/i-go-around-a-time-or-two-just-to-waste-my-time) i got, and the title is from _dirty little secret_ by the all-american rejects

"Well, well, well, Mr Malik. What do I spy with my little eye?"

Louis’ voice was as unmissable as usual and Zayn turned around, shirt halfway on, confused about the noise his friend was making again.

“What, Lou?” he asked, already annoyed when he noticed that half of the team was standing around Louis already.

For some reason he always managed to rope everyone in, no matter what he was planning.

“I might be mistaken, but that looks like a whole bunch of condoms that’s just fallen out of your bag.”

Someone wolf whistled and Zayn looked down at his feet, trying not to blush when he realised that he must’ve accidentally pulled all of the condoms he’d thrown into his bag that morning out with his t-shirt.

Across the changing room he caught Niall’s eye, watching as the other boy’s lips curled into a smirk, and that was that with the blush.

Beet red, he shoved them back into his bag, willing himself to stay calm.

“So” Louis continued and Zayn rolled his eyes, pointedly turning away. “I get the whole ‘better safe than sorry’ thing about always having one with you, but that wasn’t just one. Got plans, bro?”

Once again, Zayn was reminded what he hated most about sport teams as the whole group immediately broke out into howling and whooping. Fucking immature, if you asked him.

He shrugged casually. “Don’t have to restack for a while, yeah?”

Somewhere on his right, Niall snorted, but no one else seemed to have heard him.

“How many chicks are you trying to pull?” someone shouted, and the whole process repeated.

“Yeah, Zayn” Louis said once they’d calmed down a bit. “How many? Or is it just one? You haven’t pulled anyone in a while, got secrets from us?”

“Just leave him alone, Lou” a voice piped up and Zayn noticed that Liam hadn’t joined the crowd either, much like Niall, whose face seemed to have turned to stone. “This is unnecessary.”

“Ugh, fine” Louis groaned. “Party pooper.”

Zayn shot Liam a thankful smile and decided it’d probably be best to just wait this out. He didn’t react to any questions or remarks the lads threw at him, waiting for them to get dressed and leave the locker room.

“Sorry, mate” Louis said when he walked past him. “Was a bit much, I guess.”

“Yeah” Zayn shrugged. It wasn’t as if he could stay mad at Louis for long, and they both knew it. “’s alright.”

“Need a ride home?” Liam offered him a few minutes later, when it was just him, Zayn and Niall left.

“Nah, thanks Lee-yum” Zayn said, drawing out his friends’ name. “I’ll be fine.”

Liam shrugged, pulling his hood over his head. “Bye then, see you tomorrow. You too, Nialler!”

“Bye!” Niall waved from where he was packing his bag ridiculously slow, waiting until Liam had left.

Zayn was expecting him by the time Niall crowded into his space, hands immediately slipping under his shirt to grip him by the hips.

“So” he hummed. “Did you pack those condoms for a certain purpose?”

Zayn grinned, stepping closer until they were chest to chest, arms wrapping around Niall’s neck. “Might’ve? Someone invited me over to theirs today after practice.”

“Did they? What makes you think you’ll need condoms? Might be just to do homework.”

“Ah, yeah” Zayn sighed. “Probably should just head home alone then, shouldn’t I?”

Niall’s hands on his hip tightened. “I don’t like them talking about you and some girl like that.”

Zayn’s face became softer, one hand slipping to the back of Niall’s head, toying with the hair that was curling there. “Yeah, I noticed. That glare could’ve killed someone.”

Niall bumped their noses together before pressing a quick kiss to Zayn’s lips. “I hope you were joking about going home alone.”

“’course, wouldn’t miss a study date with you, would I?”

“Good to know you brought your material, then.”

Zayn laughed and kissed him once before letting go and stepping out of his reach. “Come on, then. Don’t want anyone to catch us here.”

-

Zayn and Niall had met a couple of years ago, when they’d both been the only new kids at their school.

Both teenagers having moved to a rural English town involuntarily, they’d bonded over their mutual unhappiness first, before discovering they had much more in common, despite of Zayn being a year above Niall.

It hadn’t taken long for them to accumulate a small group of close friends, and soon enough nobody could remember a time when they hadn’t been part of Louis’, Liam’s and Harry’s group.

Still, the two of them had always had a special bond, being closer to each other than the rest of their friends.

They were always the first the other went to, no matter if it involved school, family problems, crushes - they told each other.

Niall was the first Zayn told about kissing his friend Danny when he went back to Bradford for a visit when they were 15, and in turn Niall admitted that he’d been questioning his sexuality for a while as well.

Things changed when they were 17 and got drunk at a party.

Niall’s parents were much more relaxed than Zayn’s when it came to parties and alcohol, so Zayn usually slept over at Niall’s on nights they went out.

This particular night both of them were spectacularly drunk though, and when they tumbled down onto Niall’s bed, their limbs ended up even more tangled than usual, Niall half on top if Zayn.

When he leaned in, Zayn was already waiting for him, kissing him back just as eagerly.

They ended up making out for the better part of half an hour before they fell asleep, cuddled close.

The next morning was awkward though, neither of them sure how to approach the subject, wondering what it had meant.

For two long weeks, they avoided each other, both of them skittish and moody, confusing their friends.

Until one day Niall snapped and told Zayn he was tired of lying about the feelings for his best friend he’d had for a while now, and that they should either do something about it or move on.

Zayn had just kissed him, and that had been it, pretty much.

At first, they’d kept it a secret because they were worried about what it’d mean for the dynamics in their group of friends, but the more time passed, the harder it got telling anyone, especially since neither of them had officially come out.

It hadn’t been that hard either, since everyone knew they were close and didn’t even blink when they hugged each other for a bit longer than necessary or cuddled while watching a movie. Not a single person had questioned it when they’d said they’d had a fight and made up again, no one even asked what they’d fought about.

And that was why now, six months later, it was still a secret.

Zayn was 18 and in his last year at school, while Niall – same as Harry and Liam – had a year more to go. Both of them were part of the school’s football team, together with Louis and Liam. Only Harry hadn’t made the team which really wasn’t surprising if you looked at his lack of coordination.

Zayn insisted he wouldn’t be on it either if Niall hadn’t forced him to try out after he’d spent the whole summer between his eighth and ninth grade teaching him how to play.

They were Niall and Zayn and no one asked them what they did when it was just the two of them.

-

“So I know my approach might’ve been a bit direct, but I do wanna know what you plan on doing with all of those condoms.”

Louis brought it up casually during lunch the next day and Zayn nearly choked on the bite of the sandwich he’d just taken, feeling Niall tense next to him.

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business, Tommo” he said when he’d finally swallowed.

“Well, we’re only your best friends?” Louis said, pouting exaggeratedly. “Come on lads, help me out here.”

“I wasn’t there yesterday” Harry drawled, “But from what Liam told me I think you’ve lost every right to hear anything from Zayn. Even though I admit I’m curious, too.”

“We won’t force you to do anything, Zayn” Liam agreed. “Share what you want to share.”

All three of them stared at him expectantly though, and then at Niall who’d failed to say anything yet.

“Yeah, mate” Niall said, nudging Zayn’s shoulder with his. “Spill.”

Zayn glared at him. “I don’t kiss and tell.”

“So you admit there has been kissing!” Louis immediately deduced and Zayn groaned.

“Why are you so obsessed with who I have or have not been kissing? Is your own love life that boring?”

“As a matter of fact, yes it is at the moment. Besides, it’s a nice change to teasing Harold here all the time.”

“Great” Zayn sighed. “I’m still not gonna tell you.”

-

“But what should I do” Zayn whined that afternoon, head pillowed in Niall’s lap. “He’s not gonna stop until I give him _something_ , and I don’t wanna make anyone up.”

“I think you’ve done okay so far, and Louis’ gonna get bored eventually. Don’t let him get to you, babe.”

Zayn sighed and sat up, moving so he was straddling Niall, who was sitting on his bed with his back against the wall.

“Sometimes I just want to yell from the rooftops that I’m with you” he said quietly, face tucked into Niall’s neck.

“Me too, everyday” Niall whispered, his hands tracing the knobs on Zayn’s spine slowly. “And then I remember neither of our parents even know we’re gay, and that we live in a fucking small town where I get to hear someone be homophobic in some way several times a week, our teammates calling each other gay as an insult and I just…I’m just too scared, Zayn.”

Zayn sat back up a little straighter, cupping Niall’s cheeks. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay, Niall, I am too. We’ll do this in our own time.”

Niall smiled a little, hands sliding to Zayn’s waist. “God, I’m so in love with you.”

Zayn’s answering smile was wide, making his eyes crinkle with it, tongue pressing against his teeth from behind. He was still smiling when he kissed Niall. “I love you, too.”

-

Louis got Zayn’s attention during their math class when he pinched his arm harshly.

"Ow!" Zayn hissed, turning to glare at his friend. "What the fuck, Lou?"

"Don’t you like me anymore?" Louis asked, sporting a full-on pout.

Zayn just lifted an eyebrow.

"Or why do you feel like you can’t trust me enough to tell me about who you’ve been snogging?"

Great. So he was going for the pity tour now.

"There’s nothing to tell, Lou" he lied.

And, okay.

Maybe it sort of was a question of trust. Which of their friends would stay, who would turn their back? For some reason, Zayn didn’t really want to find out.

-

“Hey, Zayn.”

Harry was suddenly next to him while he was drawing, head leaning against Zayn’s shoulder. He wasn’t sure why Harry was in this classroom because he was a year younger and didn’t share a single class with Zayn, but Harry had a tendency to show up in unexpected places.

So Zayn only hummed, not looking up from his sketch.

“So there’s this girl I like” Harry started.

Zayn snorted. “ _Girl_?”

“Yeah, well, I…okay, she’s one of Gemma’s friends. But that’s not that much older than me!”

“D’you think it’d be a good idea to make a move on one of your sister’s friends?”

“I don’t know” Harry whined. “I guess not. But it’s not like I ever get anywhere anyway. They let me flirt with them, call me charming, but that’s it. I’m just a little kid to them.”

“Aw, Harry” Zayn said, putting his pencil aside so he could ruffle Harry’s curls. “Maybe you should try charming someone your age for once.”

“But I don’t  _want_  to charm any of them” Harry pouted. “Have you seen the girls in our year?” His eyes widened and he hurriedly backtracked. “Or wait, I don’t know if one of them is your – I bet they’re all really nice, lovely girls…” He trailed off.

Zayn’s eyes had narrowed. He didn’t really think Harry was capable of such a thing, but he wouldn’t put it past Louis to set this up. “Did you only start this conversation so you could trick me into telling you about my love life?”

“No, I –“Harry sighed, rubbing his face. “There really is that girl I like, but I also wanted to show you that you can trust us with that stuff. See, we tell each other things!”

“I know, Harry. I just wish you’d let me do this on my terms.”

"I’m sorry, Zayn" Harry said. "I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable."

He was giving Zayn that kicked puppy look that everyone hated because it made you feel like you were in the wrong even if you definitely weren’t and Zayn groaned.

"I’ll forgive you if you stop making this our main conversation topic."

Harry grinned. “Alright, then. I guess I can do that.”

-

“Harry tried tricking me into saying something today” Zayn told Niall over the phone that night. “Can you believe it? _Harry_!”

“Yeah, Liam tried roping me into some sort of plan of spying on you” Niall chuckled. “No idea why they’re so insistent.”

“Ugh” Zayn groaned. “What’d you say?”

“Something about how I didn’t want to be involved in their childish games and that it was none of our concern if you didn’t feel like sharing. Dunno if he believed me.”

“Considering you never say no to any of their stupid ideas, probably not.”

“Hey!” Niall laughed. “They’re not all stupid.”

“Yeah, they are” Zayn said, but the fondness in his voice was too blatant to be overheard.

They laughed quietly for a moment, until Niall sighed. “Guess this means we’ll have to be even more careful though. No more secret snogging in broom closets or bathroom stalls.”

“Hmpf” Zayn made, less than happy about that prospect. “You coming over after school tomorrow then?”

They hadn’t gotten the chance to hang out today, because both of them had had other plans after footie practice. Those were the worst days.

“Yeah, ‘course. Is anyone gonna be home?”

“Waliyha and Safaa probably” Zayn shrugged. “Mum and Dad’ll be at work though.”

Niall hummed. “Sounds good.”

“Niall” Zayn said sternly. “We’re not having sex with my sisters here.”

“Yeah, no, I know that. But we’ll get to snog, yeah?”

“Obviously. I’ll be suffering from withdrawal by then.”

Niall snorted. “You trying to tell me you’re not already?”

“Severe withdrawal, Niall” Zayn said gravely, and Niall laughed.

Zayn could picture him, lying on his bed; head thrown back, eyes squeezed shut. He wanted to be there.

“Tomorrow after school then.”

Niall stopped laughing and sighed wistfully. “Can’t wait.”

-

“Safaa? Waliyha?” Zayn called, stumbling through the front door.

Niall had both of his hands on Zayn’s arm and he was close already, shoulder pressing against his and breath fanning across his cheek.

There was no reply and within a second, Zayn had Niall pressed up against the closed front door, hand cupping the side of his face, licking into his mouth hungrily.

Niall whined quietly, hands on Zayn’s waist, tugging him closer.

“Let’s go to your room” he panted when Zayn pulled away so they could catch their breath. “What if your sisters come home?”

“Yeah” Zayn laughed, chuckling and pecking his lips once. “That’d be awkward. Just couldn’t really wait to do that.”

Niall took his hand and followed him up the stairs to his room. “Well I can definitely relate to that.”

They dropped down onto Zayn’s bed, hands and legs tangled.

“Missed you” Zayn said quietly, brushing his nose along Niall’s temple.

Niall hummed. “Missed you, too. You know, as much as I could miss you considering we saw each other during lunch.”

"Shut up, that doesn’t even count" Zayn mumbled, words muffled against Niall’s shoulder.

Niall started scratching his head lightly, laughing. “Yeah I know, so what are you waiting for now? Come up here and kiss me.”

Zayn didn’t hesitate, slotting his body against Niall’s and capturing his lips in a soft kiss.

Niall rolled them over into a more comfortable position, deepening the kiss when he swiped his tongue along Zayn’s bottom lip.

Zayn groaned quietly, fingers toying with the hem of Niall’s shirt, caressing the soft skin just underneath it.

They kissed like that for a while, content without taking things further.

There was a commotion downstairs and Niall pulled back, moving off Zayn a little breathlessly. “Sounds like your sisters are back.”

“Yeah” Zayn nodded, reaching out to brush his knuckles across Niall’s cheek. “I like how you flush.”

Niall looked down and blushed even more.

Zayn laughed and kissed his cheek before getting off his bed so he could open his door and call down to his sisters.

"Girls! Mum left some food in the fridge and Niall’s here to study, do you remember what that means?"

"No interrupting" two bored voices called back and Zayn grinned.

"Exactly, thanks!"

He closed his door again and turned to Niall, who was sitting on his bed cross legged.

"There’s food in the fridge?"

Zayn groaned. “Are you  _always_  hungry?”

Niall just grinned sunnily. “You love me.”

"Sometimes I don’t know why" Zayn grumped, but he walked towards his bed anyway, bending down to kiss Niall lightly. "Kitchen, then?"

Niall smiled, smoothing Zayn’s hair for him. “Well at least I know why I love you.”

Zayn laughed and kissed him again.

When they got down to the kitchen, Waliyha and Safaa had vanished to their rooms so Zayn made a big show of getting the leftovers from the fridge.

They heated them up and made out against the kitchen counter to pass the time. When the food was done, Zayn insisted on feeding Niall, who laughed so hard that Zayn missed his mouth a couple of times.

Neither of them complained when he had to lick Niall’s face clean, though.

"Is Niall sick?"

Safaa’s voice from the door startled Zayn so much he dropped the spoon to the floor with a clatter, while Niall let out a yelp from where he was sitting on the counter.

Zayn stepped away from in between his legs hastily, busying himself with cleaning the mess he’d made.

"Jesus, Saf, you gave me a scare. And no, he’s not sick, what makes you think that?"

"You were feeding him. Mum only feeds me when I’m sick."

Niall jumped down from the counter and walked over to the girl, crouching down in front of her so she was taller than him.

"I’m fine, Saf, promise. Zayn and me…we were just playing around, you know?"

"Like how I used to play tea party?"

"Um…yeah, just like that."

"Can I join?"

"You’ve already had your food, yeah?" Zayn said, turning to look at his little sister. "Besides, we’ve just finished, look? Nothing left."

Safaa pouted. “Okay. Can you help me with my homework, Zaynie?”

"Yeah, sure, Saf." He turned to Niall, smiling apologetically, but the other boy just shrugged.

"I’ll be in your room."

By the time Zayn returned to his room, Niall had actually gotten started on his own homework, lying on his stomach on Zayn’s bed. He turned around when Zayn shut his door behind him.

"Oops?" Niall said.

"That was a close call" Zayn groaned, standing at the foot of his bed and making a move to fall forward, causing Niall to yelp.

"Zayn, no!"

Zayn grinned. “Niall, yes.”

He dropped forward, arms in front of him so he wouldn’t crash into Niall full-force, but still lay down on him heavily, blanketing his body entirely.

Niall was still laughing, but he’d stopped struggling, wrapping his arms around Zayn’s shoulders instead.

Zayn had gone quiet, face tucked into Niall’s neck, breathing slowly.

"Do you think she saw something?" His voice was low, barely above a whisper, but the way Niall squeezed him a little tighter and started rubbing circles into his shoulder blades told him he’d given away how worried he was.

"No" Niall said, resting his lips against Zayn’s temple, not quite a kiss, just a comforting touch. “No, I think she just saw you feeding me. She’s only nine, she would’ve mentioned if she’d seen us kiss or anything.”

Zayn sighed. “I hope so.”

“Yeah, don’t worry babe” Niall said, tracing Zayn’s spine now. “Everything’s fine.”

They stayed in their position for a few minutes until Zayn worried he was crushing Niall and rolled off him, wedging his thigh in between Niall’s legs and throwing an arm across his stomach instead.

Niall contentedly buried his nose in Zayn’s hair and hugged him close, happy to cuddle for the rest of the afternoon.

They didn’t speak much, occasionally sharing lazy kisses or dozing off for a couple of minutes.

Niall took a selfie of them when Zayn was asleep on his chest, eyelashes casting pretty shadows on his cheeks and put it as his wallpaper. Usually no one looked at his phone anyway.

When they heard the front door go downstairs they’d just started snogging a bit more enthusiastically, and Zayn groaned.

"Great timing. That’s gotta be my mum."

There were steps up the stairs and Niall sat up, scooting away from Zayn a bit.

He grabbed for his abandoned homework just as they could hear Trisha talking to Waliyha or Safaa down the hall.

Zayn watched Niall with a fond smile and pecked him on the lips quickly before taking out his own homework and spreading out on the bed next to Niall.

His mum knocked on the door and asked: “Can I come in?”

"Yeah, sure" Zayn called back, taking his hand off Niall’s.

"Oh, hi Niall" Trisha said when she opened the door, even though she didn’t seem surprised to see him. "Waliyha said she hadn’t heard you in a while, I wasn’t sure if you were still here."

"Uh, yeah, we’ve been studying" Niall explained. They’d spent enough time at each other’s houses even before they’d gotten together so neither of them felt uncomfortable around family anymore.

Trisha hummed and Zayn could see her eyes moving across them on the bed next to each other and he felt his face heating up. “Safaa said she saw you in the kitchen earlier.”

Zayn cleared his throat. What had she said? “Um, yeah, I shared some of the leftovers with Niall, was that alright?”

“Of course, Niall’s appreciation for my cooking flatters me” Trisha said with a wink. “You didn’t need to share a spoon though, we would’ve had plenty.”

Niall froze next to him and Zayn felt as if something heavy had dropped into his stomach. They hadn’t put away the dirty dishes. Shit.

“Actually” Niall began, “Zayn was covering for me earlier. Technically I was the only one who ate.”

Trisha laughed. “Don’t worry, I don’t mind.”

For a moment Zayn wondered if she was talking about them sharing spoons but then he internally scoffed at himself. She was only talking about Niall eating all the leftovers.

"So are you gonna stay for dinner tonight, Niall?" Zayn’s mum asked into the slightly uncomfortable silence.

"No thanks, Trisha, mum’s expecting me at home tonight."

"Alright, sure" she smiled. "I don’t want to throw you out, but dinner will be ready in half an hour."

"Thanks, mum" Zayn said, and it sounded strained to his own ears. "Can we just…finish this?"

"Yeah, of course, I’ll leave you alone." With a last smile their way, she closed the door behind her.

As soon as his mum was gone, Zayn let out a groan, face planting onto the bed. “What is going on today?”

"I admit this was weird" Niall said, crawling closer so he could knock his forehead against Zayn’s shoulder. "But even if she was implying anything, she was nice about it, yeah? Maybe this means you don’t have to worry that much."

“I’m not necessarily worried about my family not approving” Zayn mumbled into the sheets. “It’s more about the consequences this’ll have for them?”

Niall sighed and scooted even closer so there sides were pressed up against each other. “I really love you a whole lot.”

Zayn turned his head sideways to look at his boyfriend and smiled at him. “I love you, too.”

Niall crossed what little space was left between them to kiss him quickly. “You’re amazing and you care  _so_   _much_  and I never want to stop kissing you.”

Zayn turned onto his side, placed one hand on Niall’s chest and the other on his side before he kissed him. “Don’t, then” he mumbled against Niall’s lips.

Niall made a happy noise and pushed closer, deepening the kiss.

They broke apart a couple of minutes later, when Niall reminded a reluctant Zayn that he’d have to be down for dinner soon.

"And you still definitely look as if you just snogged someone breathless" he grinned, sounding smug.

Zayn laughed and pecked his lips before sitting up against the headboard.

"You do realise we didn’t do any homework again, right?"

"I did!" Niall protested. "Got some of it done while you were with Safaa."

"Teacher’s pet" Zayn teased and got a jab to his stomach for it.

Zayn trying to return that jab resulted in a short play fight that involved many tickles and - obviously very manly - squeals, before it came to an abrupt ending when they tumbled off the bed.

Together, they lay on the floor laughing until Niall sat up and tried straightening his clothes.

"Alright, I’m leaving now before you manage to murder me."

"You know I’d never murder you."

"You were just about to" Niall grinned and stuck his tongue out at Zayn. "Can I get my goodnight kiss here?"

"Oh, absolutely." Zayn cupped his cheeks with both of his hands and crossed the space between them to press his lips on Niall’s.

Niall held on to his hips and Zayn hummed, tongue darting out to lick across the seam of his boyfriend’s lips.

Almost instinctively, Niall parted his lips to let Zayn in before remembering he might have to face Trisha downstairs and pulling away.

Zayn pouted but Niall just laughed and gave him a few more pecks for good measure.

"Walk me out?"

"Wouldn’t miss it" Zayn smiled and kissed Niall one more time before opening his door.

Downstairs, Niall ducked into the kitchen for a minute to say goodbye to Trisha, while Zayn waited at the door.

They hugged at the door - possibly for a bit too long to be casual - and Niall pressed his lips to Zayn’s throat where he was hidden by his body.

"So." Trisha was standing in the kitchen door, looking at Zayn. "Niall is a very nice boy, I like him a lot. I’m glad you’re so close."

"Yeah" Zayn said, frowning a little in confusion. "He’s a great best friend."

His mum smiled and shook her head lightly. “I’m sure he is. Zayn…”

"Okay" Zayn interrupted, heart racing. "I’ve got some homework to finish before dinner!"

He darted up the stairs, leaning heavily against his door once he’d shut it.

What was going on?

He wasn’t sure whether Safaa catching them in the kitchen had given him enough of a scare to over interpret everything his mum said and did, or if she was really implying something.

And if she was, would he tell her? Was he ready to do that?

Zayn sighed deeply. This whole thing was messing with his head, and he’d still have to get through dinner…

-

**Think mum suspects something**

_Yeah ?_

**Shes been dropping hints all night**

_U sure?_

**Well I kinda hope not**

_Hmm…come over to mine tomorrow instead ? Xx_

**Deffo :D xx**

_Cool :D but babe don’t worry yeah xx_

**yeah…hard not to, but ill b fine xx**

_call me if you need to yeah ? Xxx_

**yh thanks babe, goodnight xxx**

_night, sweet dreams ! Xxx_

-

It’d been quiet for a few days, from both his mum and their friends, and Zayn was just starting to feel safe again, when Louis yanked on the collar of his plaid shirt during lunch, pulling it aside.

“Aha!” he yelled triumphantly. “That’s definitely a hickey right there, bro! No lies anymore!”

Zayn blushed and tugged his collar back in place. “So what if it is?” he mumbled. “Doesn’t make it any more of your business.”

“Why are you so uptight about this?” Louis whined. “We’re bros, we share stuff like that.”

“Maybe I don’t want to share at the moment.”

“ _Zayn_ , you don’t –“

“Shut up, Louis” Niall suddenly said from where he was sat on Zayn’s other side, teeth gritted and glaring at Louis. “He doesn’t want to tell you, why won’t you let it rest?”

“Why are you on his side suddenly, Niall?” Louis asked. “Wait, has he  _told_  you –“

“I’m on his side because I think you should accept boundaries when someone sets them, is that so hard to understand? Forcing Zayn to tell you something he doesn’t want to share is not cool.”

Zayn subtly placed his hand on Niall’s side, squeezing lightly.

“It’s alright, Ni, thanks” he said quietly, and Niall slumped, glowering at his lap now instead of at Louis who stared at him with wide eyes, much like Harry and Liam.

“Sorry” Louis said, sounding different from his usual self. Neither he nor Niall seemed to know where to look and it made Zayn feel more uncomfortable than all of Louis’ prying had. Which said something.

Maybe it was time to tell their friends. This whole business had turned out to be much more difficult than expected, and he  _did_  trust them.

Zayn decided it was time to talk to Niall.

-

“So I’ve been thinking” Zayn said that weekend when they were cuddled up on Niall’s bed, too lazy to stop the DVD they’d watched from looping the menu over and over. “I’m gonna tell my parents.”

“Gonna tell them wha- ? Oh.” Niall lifted his head off Zayn’s chest so he could look at him. “You’re gonna come out to them?”

Zayn swallowed. “Yeah. I mean, I’m still worrying about what people are gonna say, what the other kids at school will say to my sisters…but I’m not worried about my mum and dad. And we won’t have to tell anyone else right away, I just feel like they deserve to know, yeah?”

Niall smiled softly. “I’m really proud of you. And I think you’re very brave. I don’t think I can do this already.”

“You don’t have to” Zayn said, pressing a kiss to the top of Niall’s head. “Take all the time you need. I just think this is the time for me. I’ll be done with school in like three months and then I can go, you know?”

Niall sighed deeply at that. “Don’t get me wrong, I want you to pursue your dreams and I’m happy for you, but I don’t know how I’ll survive the year without you.”

“It’s not like I’ll be off the face of the earth. We can still visit and there’s FaceTime and Skype and texts, and you’ll have Harry and Liam here. It’ll be hard, but we’ll get through it.”

“And then I’ll come and join you.”

“Yes, that’s the deal, right? We can decide if we’ll move in together or not when we get there, but if possible, we’ll go to the same university.”

“I like the sound of that” Niall said with a smile, scooting up to press a feather light kiss to Zayn’s lips. “But back to the topic, I’m proud of you and you can call me anytime, before or after you’ve told her. Whenever, okay?”

“Thanks, babe” Zayn smiled. “And please don’t feel pressured, yeah? Maybe, if it goes well, I’m gonna tell the lads too. But I won’t mention you until you’re ready, I promise.”

Niall sighed again. “I do wanna tell them. I wanna hold your hand in public, maybe even kiss you. I want all that. It’s just…if I tell my mum, I’ll have to tell my dad too who’s gonna tell my aunts and uncles and grandparents back in Ireland and most of them are really catholic and I’m just so scared about what they’ll say. I have no idea what they think about homosexuality.”

“It’s alright, love” Zayn reassured him, stroking his back. “I’ve meant it every time I told you to take your time.”

“I love you.”

Zayn cupped his cheek with one hand and kissed him. “I love you, too.”

-

“She said what?!” Niall sounded as incredulous as Zayn had felt and he wiped at the wetness under his eyes with a chuckle.

“I know. Well, her exact words were: “Did you really think I’d believe Niall is just your friend?” Apparently we haven’t been as subtle as we thought.”

“Oh my god” Niall said. “I don’t know whether to be happy or mortified.”

“I’d rather you’re happy” Zayn grinned. “Besides…Ni, your mum knows, too.”

“What?!” This time he sounded almost panicked.

“Yeah, shh, calm down” Zayn said, suddenly wishing they could have this talk in person. “Mum said they talked about it a couple of weeks ago at Karen Payne’s birthday party. Apparently they’d both been watching us for a while and my mum was like “you do realise our boys are in love with each other?” to your mum. And then talked about how they’d both been suspecting it for a while.”

“Oh my god” Niall repeated. “I can’t believe this.”

"Me neither" Zayn agreed. "But it also kind of helps, doesn’t it?"

"I guess" Niall said, sounding thoughtful. "This is just all really sudden and unexpected. Wait, if my mum knows - I should probably talk to her, right?"

"Only if you want to!" Zayn assured him. "I just told you because I thought it’d make it easier, not having to worry."

"Yeah, still doesn’t really lessen my worry about the rest of my family but I guess if my mum reacts this way it can’t be too bad?"

"So you’re gonna do it?"

Zayn could hear Niall draw a deep breath, but he sounded sure when he answered. “Yeah. Right now.”

"I’m proud of you" Zayn said sincerely. "And I love you. Text or call me when you can, alright?"

“‘course” Niall said, and Zayn could hear the smile in his voice. “Love you too.”

-

_Apparently my mum just lost a bet against your mum???_

_Went well tho *thumbs up*_

**Woooo!!! Xxx**

**What bet???**

_mum said she bet on us telling them after you’re done wit school and yours bet on earlier_

**They made a bet on that???? :D**

_ikr thats so weird hahah !_

_please tell me u cried too or else ill jus feel dumb_

**I cried a lot babe x**

_Really ?_

**Yeah…got emotional aha**

_Same here xx_

**Soo are we gunna tell the boys**

_Yeh ! theyll go mad_

**Movie night this wknd? Xx**

_Ok, lets tell them then ! love you loads ! Xxx_

**love u too baby sweet dreams xxxx**

-

The last two days left before the weekend, Zayn was pretty much left alone. Louis was still cautious around him, and around Niall, which had made things pretty awkward over the past ten days.

They’d still all be coming for movie night, Zayn had made sure of it. Movie night was something they did once every month, had done since they first started hanging out, and it wouldn’t stop because of some tension within the group.

Especially if Zayn planned to end the cause for that tension during it.

It still felt like the longest two school days ever, and lunch break for once wasn’t the hour he looked forward to most. Even Niall didn’t seem as happy to be around food and his friends as usual.

“Have I made things awkward?” he asked Zayn on Saturday when he came over earlier than the rest of the boys.

“It’s not your fault” Zayn said immediately and stopped rummaging through the cupboard he was looking for snacks in. “It’s partly Louis’ fault for pressing and partly mine for letting him. I probably should’ve stopped him right away.”

“You know how Louis is though” Niall sighed, taking a step towards Zayn and wrapping his arms around his middle. “He won’t let things go.”

“He’d never intentionally hurt any of us though. Maybe if I’d made it clearer…”

“No, Zayn, blame this one on Louis for once. You  _did_  make it clear.”

“I don’t wanna keep holding it against him though” Zayn said. “And if all goes according to plan tonight, we can forget about it all anyway.”

“And it will” Niall said, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. “It’ll work out just fine.”

"Hello, boys" Trisha’s voice said from the doorway, and Niall and Zayn sprung apart.

"Uh..hey mum" Zayn mumbled while Niall waved sheepishly.

"Don’t let me interrupt you" Trisha winked, making Zayn groan in embarrassment. "I just wanted to let you know that Yaser and I have tickets for the theatre in Manchester tonight and we’re staying at grandma’s house so we won’t have to drive all the way back. The girls are all staying over at friend’s, so it’ll be a boy’s night!"

"Oh, great" Zayn said, surprised. He hadn’t known they’d be alone.

"Yes, we figured you might want some alone time for this" his mum said. "It’s quite a big deal, after all. We’ll have to leave rather early though, you’ll be fine on your own, right?"

"We can pass the time" Zayn shrugged.

"Oh, I’m sure you can." Her tone was way too suggestive for a mum and Zayn groaned again, feeling his face heat up.

"Mum, no, we’re not gonna - oh my god…"

Trisha laughed and kissed his cheek first and then Niall’s.

"Have fun boys."

Zayn’s dad grinned and waved at them from the door but Zayn was still too mortified to react, watching as Niall interacted with his parents.

"So" Niall said when the front door was closed, taking a step towards Zayn and smirking at him. "We’ve got like 3 hours left until the boys arrive, there’s no one else here, are you sure we’re not gonna -?"

"Shut up" Zayn laughed and pressed him up against the kitchen counter, licking into his mouth.

-

"How obvious is it?" Niall asked when it was time for the others to start arriving. "With me being freshly showered and wearing a pair of your sweatpants?"

Zayn snorted. “Pretty fucking obvious, I guess. You know this wouldn’t have been a problem, if you hadn’t thought it good to wipe us clean with your own sweatpants -“

"They were the closest to me!"

”- and then insisted on us going for round two in the shower.”

"Didn’t hear you complaining earlier" Niall smirked, hands slipping under Zayn’s shirt at his hips.

"I couldn’t really complain with your hand  _literally_  on my dick, could I?”

Niall laughed and kissed him on his pouting lips. “Stop frowning, babe. At least this gives us more reason not to keep it a secret anymore.”

Zayn grinned and kissed him softly. “Okay, you’ve got a point. A dumb one, but a point nonetheless.”

Niall pinched his side and Zayn yelped, trying to wriggle out of his grasp, but Niall held on.

When the doorbell rang, Niall sighed deeply.

"I was just about to kiss you quiet, but I guess that’ll have to wait until later."

Zayn laughed and kissed him anyway, leaving the lounge to get the door.

It was Harry, who thankfully still acted normal around both of them.

Or at least until he caught side of Niall lounging on the sofa.

"How long have you been here for?" he frowned. "And why are you wearing Zayn’s sweats?"

"Um" Niall made. "I spilled coke all over mine earlier? I came to help Zayn set up and you know me…"

Harry looked unconvinced, eyes flitting around the room as if he was looking for proof. “Hm, alright. Am I the first one?”

"Yeah" Zayn said, handing him a glass of coke so he hopefully wouldn’t notice the bottle was still full. There’d be no need for anyone to know what really happened to Niall’s sweats, even if they told the boys about their relationship tonight.

Harry was still frowning at Niall though. “Is your hair wet?”

Thankfully the doorbell rang again and Niall jumped up to get it, leaving Zayn to seem occupied otherwise.

Since when was Harry the observant one?

Louis and Liam arrived together, which helped ease some of the tension between Niall and Louis, but it was still tangible when they walked into the living room.

At least no one asked about Niall’s sweats.

"Alright" Zayn said awkwardly, looking at his friends standing in the middle of the room unusually tense. "This is awkward. Niall and I talked about this beforehand and we agreed it was time we spoke about some stuff. So, no movies yet."

"Movie night was a cover for a heart to heart?" Louis scoffed and Niall glared at him.

"This is important, Louis."

Liam placed a hand on Louis shoulder and Zayn saw him squeeze it lightly before he turned to Niall. “Sorry, Nialler. Of course.”

Louis didn’t say anything, but he looked at the floor guiltily.

"Let’s just sit down, yeah?" Zayn suggested, tugging on Niall’s sleeve so he would follow him to the sofa.

They sat close, which wasn’t unusual, and Niall tucked his left leg under his body so his knee was brushing against Zayn’s thigh and they could link their fingers unseen to the others.

"First of all" Zayn said, taking a deep breath. "I fucking hate this situation, us fighting. And I know it’s sort of my fault, for refusing to tell you guys some stuff."

Niall made a noise as if he was about to protest but Zayn shushed him, trying to convey with a single glance that it was alright.

"Thing is" he continued, hating how shaky his voice sounded. Niall squeezed his fingers tightly. "There’s a reason I haven’t told you. You kept asking me which girl I was shagging, but I couldn’t answer that, because -" he drew in another shaky breath, trying to stop his voice from breaking, "because it’s not a girl."

Four pairs of eyes were on him, three of them wide, expectant, surprised maybe. None of them hostile.

"It’s a guy" Zayn continued quietly. "Because I’m gay. It’s a guy, but I’m not just shagging him or anything." He looked at Niall, feeling his lips stretch into a soft smile when he saw his boyfriend grinning at him like mad. "I’m very, very much in love with him."

"Oh my god" Harry said, and both boys’ heads snapped around to look at their wide-eyed friend. "Oh my god, it’s Niall."

Niall blushed, still squeezing Zayn’s hand. “Yeah, it’s me. And you better not have a problem with this, because I love him just as much.”

It was eerily quiet for a few seconds, and then chaos broke loose.

Harry, Louis and Liam were all yelling, gesturing at each other and Niall and Zayn, and suddenly they were tumbling all over each other trying to reach the sofa so they could another both boys with their hugs.

"I’m so happy for you guys, this doesn’t change anything" Liam whispered into Zayn’s ear while Louis was clinging to Niall, muttering unintelligible things.

Harry was trying to hug them all at the same time, all the while yelling “I knew it, I told you!”

"You what?" Niall asked over Louis’ head.

"I told Liam and Louis it was you! I told them days ago, even before you snapped at Lou. I had a feeling, and I was right!"

"Wait…what?" Zayn asked, confused.

Harry shrugged. “Dunno, I’d been suspecting something for a while. Something about the way you looked at each other, I guess.”

"Are you serious?" Niall laughed. "I thought we were being subtle."

"I mean, it was just a hunch. Not enough to confront you."

"I’m just glad you finally told us" Liam interjected.

"I wish you’d have trusted us more though" Louis said quietly. "You’re our best friends. Did you think we wouldn’t approve?"

Zayn searched for Niall’s hand again, relieved, but preparing for a long night of explanations.

That wasn’t something he minded though, because their friends and family were accepting them the way they were, were happy even, which was more than they could’ve expected.

And there wasn’t a plan for the future, no script fir how they’d go on.

Maybe they’d hold hands while walking into their school the next week.

Maybe Niall would kiss Zayn on his last day of school, in front of everyone.

Maybe they’d move in together once Niall started uni, and maybe they’d kiss on the streets or in stores or restaurants.

Maybe things would go differently, there was no way of knowing.

What Zayn did know, was that he wanted to figure it all out with Niall by his side.


	9. new year's kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short drabble i wrote for new year's eve 2014 :)

„Come with me. “

The voice in Niall’s ear was low and quiet, a contrast to the noise of people yelling over the thumping of the base.

He turned around and blindly reached for the sleeve Zayn’s shirt, smiling at the dark haired lad a little drunkenly.

Zayn lead him away from the crowd at the New Year’s party they were both attending, to a small but empty room.

When he’d closed the door and turned to face Niall, the younger boy smiled expectantly. “What’d you drag me away from the alcohol for?”

Zayn laughed. “You know why. It’s almost midnight.”

“Shouldn’t we be among our friends for that?” Niall acted oblivious.

Zayn’s eyes narrowed and he smirked, taking a few steps towards Niall until he could grip his hips tightly.

“Would you rather be next door right now?”

He ducked down to bite at where Niall’s shoulder met his neck playfully and the blonde hissed, arms lifting so he could hold on to Zayn’s upper arms.

“We don’t have any champagne here” he insisted anyway.

Zayn sighed against his skin and licked across the bite before pressing his lips on it in a soft kiss.

“I have no idea why you think you’d have a free hand to hold champagne with at midnight.”

Niall waggled his eyebrows. “What are you suggesting?”

“Not a handjob, you horndog” Zayn laughed. “I’m merely stating my opinion that you should give your boyfriend a proper New Year’s kiss at midnight. Without having to look out for a glass in your hand.”

“So that’s what you kidnapped me for.”

Zayn shrugged, kissing the corner of his mouth. “Didn’t feel like getting a platonic kiss or anything because there might be people around who aren’t allowed to see anything more.”

Niall sighed, wrapping his arms around Zayn’s shoulders and pulling him as close as possible. “Good thinking, Malik.”

“I’m known to be brilliant.”

Niall chuckled and listened as the countdown from ten started next door.

“I’ve had an amazing year” he said quietly. “And you were a big part of that. So, thank you, I guess.”

Zayn leaned back to look at him, a soft smile on his face. “Same to you, love. Let’s hope the new year is just as good.”

“Better” Niall smiled just as the cheers in the other room erupted. “Happy New Year, Zayn.”

“Happy New Year, Niall” Zayn said back and gripped the back of Niall’s head, pulling him in for a soft kiss.

Niall closed his eyes and melted into it, one hand slipping under Zayn’s shirt at his hip.

Zayn made a small sound in his throat and pushed closer, deepening the kiss with a flick of his tongue.

When the pulled away breathlessly a few minutes later, Niall couldn’t help but peck Zayn’s kiss swollen lips a few times more. “I love you.”

Zayn smiled widely, tucking his face into the crook of Niall’s neck. “I love you, too.”


	10. work of art

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ficlet i wrote while avoiding to study for my finals haha. based on [this post](http://kissingziall.tumblr.com/post/107599807385/michacl-im-at-a-museum-right-now-and-im)

Zayn’s not usually bored at museums, he likes them - loves some, even, because he loves art.

But today, he’s taken his two younger sisters to the museum he always went to when he was their age, because his mum had asked him to.

He said he’d do it, thinking it’d be fun since he hasn’t been in three years, but it turns out that pretty much nothing has changed.

The exhibits are all the same and Zayn finds he remembers every little detail. He’s bored out of his mind.  
His sisters have run off to somewhere and he told them he’d wait, so he does. Zayn is 21 and spends a perfectly good afternoon sitting around at a museum, bored as fuck.

He pulls out his phone and opens the front camera, using it as a way of checking his hair.

Well, at least he still looks good.

With a cursory glance around the room he checks that he’s alone, except for what seems to be a security guard in the doorway to the next room - Zayn can’t help but notice that he has really nice shoulders - but he has his back to him.

Might as well use the good light to take a few selfies.

A cough right next to him startles Zayn so much he nearly drops his phone and he turns his head to find the security guard, except.

Huh.

The guard is a guy about Zayn’s age, and he doesn’t only have nice shoulders - which Zayn can confirm close up as well, the material of his navy coloured uniform shirt stretches across them in a way that makes it kind of hard for Zayn to not reach out -, he also has a very nice face.

A very nice everything, actually.

His hair is blond, darker at the roots, his jaw looks strong and sharp, and his eyes are so blue Zayn wants to drown in them.

He coughs awkwardly at his staring but it hasn’t taken more than a few seconds, and the guy addresses him with a stern face.

"Excuse me," and Zayn nearly dies, because how can he have such a nice voice too? "You’re not allowed to take pictures of the artwork in here."

Zayn blushes, shoves his phone into his pocket.

"Sorry, yeah, I know, I wasn’t - I swear I wasn’t taking pictures of anything here, I was just…I was taking a selfie."

He looks down at his hands in his lap and nearly misses the grin spreading across the guy’s face, which would’ve been a shame, because it goes onto the list straight away. It’s quite possibly the nicest smile he’s ever seen.

"I know."

Zayn falters, and his gaze flicks up to that damned smile again.

"I, uh…what?"

"Your face looks like one of those statues, mate" the guy says, laughing a little and maybe killing Zayn in the process. "Or better, actually."

"I’m…thanks?" Zayn can tell he’s still blushing and he suddenly wishes he was as cool as he tries to come off most of the time.

“‘m Niall” the guard says, giving a dorky and slightly awkward wave that makes Zayn smile almost involuntarily. “I swear I’m not trying to make you feel uncomfortable, I’m just…tell me if you want me to back off.”

"Don’t" Zayn bursts out. "I mean, don’t back off. In fact, I was just admiring your shoulders a few minutes ago."

"Oh, were you?" Niall grins.

"Yeah…everything else too, actually. And my name’s Zayn."

"Nice to meet you, Zayn" Niall laughs. "How would you feel about discussing our mutual attraction to each other over dinner tonight?"

"I’d love to" Zayn says, feeling his eyes crinkle when he smiles up at Niall. "Just…can I have your number? You know, in case I get lost or something."

Niall laughs and Zayn gets this fluttery feeling in his belly, familiar but exciting and new at the same time.

"Sure. For safety reasons."

Zayn laughs too and hands him his phone, saving his own number in Niall’s.

"So what are you doing taking selfies at a museum?" Niall asks curiously when they’ve both got their phones back.

Zayn explains his situation and Niall agrees, laughing. “It does get boring after you’ve seen everything a couple of times. I’ve worked here for almost two years now, when I don’t have classes, and nothing ever changes.”

"So you spend your time chatting up visitors?" Zayn teases.

"Just the exceptionally pretty ones" Niall promises, looking over his shoulder when there’s a loud squeal. "Uh, sorry, I should probably check on that -"

"Actually" Zayn interrupts him, "I’m pretty sure that’s my sisters."

Niall’s face falls a little. “So you have to go?”

Safaa and Waliyha round the corner and wave at Zayn. He waves back but keeps facing Niall. “‘fraid so. But I’ll see you tonight?”

Niall’s face lights up again. “Definitely! I’ll text you the details, yeah?”

Zayn nods, caught off guard when Niall leans forward and kisses his cheek softly. “See you tonight, then.”

He manages to wave at him dazedly when Niall leaves the room with a smile and a wink but he can’t quite listen to his sisters’ rambling, dumb smile still stuck on his face when they leave the museum.

His sisters don’t stop teasing him until they’re home, but Zayn doesn’t care.

He’s got a date tonight, and he can’t wait to find out more things he can put on his “Things that are nice about Niall” list.


	11. still find pieces of you in the back of my mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another procrastination piece based on [a tumblr post](http://kissingziall.tumblr.com/post/100734052675/howlnatural-this-awkward-blind-date-just-got)  
> title is from _talk_ by kodaline :)

Niall didn’t like blind dates.

He hadn’t been on very many but the few he’d let himself be roped into by his friends over the years had all been terrible, except maybe for the one with Josh, but that whole thing had gone up in flames not that much later.

Now this one now looked to go in pretty much the same direction.

The girl Liam had set him up with this time was lovely, her name was Barbara and she was a model (way to feel insecure), but they didn’t have anything to talk about.

Niall had picked her up in his car and the ride had been mostly filled with awkward silence, because everything Niall tried as a conversation starter seemed to lead to a dead end.

She didn’t like the music Niall listened to, didn’t think his favourite films were funny.

Wasn’t interested in football or any sports at all.

In short, the prospects for this date were looking dire. Niall was already running out of things to talk about by the time they were being seated at the restaurant he’d picked.

Focusing on the menu intently gave him an excuse not to keep talking, but instead of picking a meal, he kept wracking his brain for a topic they’d actually be able to talk about for more than a minute or two.

“Have you decided on drinks yet?” a voice right next to Niall asked, and his head snapped up, staring at their waiter and feeling as if he was about to choke any minute.

Admittedly, this was probably a rather common reaction the guy got, because he had to be at least an angel or a demigod or something – he was way too beautiful to be just human.

The reason Niall made a choked off sound when he looked up wasn’t his beauty though. It was the fact that he  _knew_  this guy.

His dark eyes landed on Niall now and widened comically, flicking from Niall to his date and back again.

Niall felt himself flush to the roots of his hair and he coughed, sounding strained. “Uh, no, not yet.”

Their waiter nodded and left with a “I’ll be back when you’ve decided”, eyes not leaving Niall.

“Did you know him?” Barbara asked, eyebrows pinched in a frown.

“No” Niall squeaked and cleared his throat, trying to find his normal voice. “I’ve never seen him before.”

“Hm” Barbara nodded, her eyes still narrowed suspiciously. “Anyway, do you drink wine?”

Obviously, it all only went downhill from there.

Niall had trouble focusing on anything, he constantly found himself looking for their beautiful waiter, looking away quickly before he got caught. One time, their eyes met across the room, and Niall nearly spilled all of his red wine.

The thing was, he  _knew_  him. He knew his name was Zayn, he knew he had tattoos all over his chest and arms and hips and even legs. He knew he had the thickest, longest eyelashes he’d ever seen. He knew what his laugh sounded like, and the sounds he made when he was being fucked.

He knew what he looked like when he came.

And that was kind of hard to ignore.

Barbara kept asking him if he was alright and he felt bad for her, she was nice and didn’t deserve this, but how was he supposed to tell her that he’d had a one night stand with their waiter?

That was all it had been after all. He’d spent a single night with Zayn, and when he woke up, he’d been alone.

It was his own fault he couldn’t get him out of his mind after that, couldn’t stop thinking and even talking about him, to a point where Liam had thought it necessary to find him a date.

Which had led him here.

Oh, the irony.

Niall felt terrible, but he didn’t know how to get out of this miserable situation.

When they’d finished the main course, Niall having trouble eating for what was probably the first time in his life, he excused himself to the bathroom.

In there, he stood bent forwards with his hands on his knees, trying to calm the fuck down.

The door behind him opened and Niall straightened up, trying to look as if he hadn’t just been close to a nervous breakdown.

He turned around and couldn’t help but groan when he saw who it was. “What are you doing here?”

"Well" Zayn said, with a strange sort of half-smirk, as if he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to. "I work here. And I kind of wanted to talk to you, actually. I…I didn’t think I’d see you again."

"And whose fault is that?" Niall mumbled.

Zayn wiped a hand across his face. “You know what…I’m not even sure what I followed you in here for. I’m sorry, I don’t want to keep your girlfriend waiting.”

"She’s not my girlfriend" Niall blurted out. "I’m on a blind date, and it’s not going particularly well."

"Oh?" Zayn made, and there was an odd hopeful tinge to it. "So you didn’t…cheat on anyone?"

"What?" Niall asked incredulously. "Why the fuck…why would you think that?"

Zayn awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. “I just…it’s just that I’ve made a few, um, experiences. And seeing you on a date…I guess I just assumed the worst.”

"Great" Niall huffed. "So apparently now I look like a cheater. Is that why you left that night? You know that I’m only…this whole thing, this stupid blind date is only happening because my friend had enough of me fucking moping around my flat. Jesus, all of this is your fault!"

Zayn was staring at him and Niall was breathing heavily, agitated.

How could he just stand there without saying anything?

Niall felt so stupid again, just like he had when he’d woken up and Zayn had been gone.

He’d thought they’d had a good time, talking and laughing and flirting at the bar, and the sex had definitely been the best he’d had in a long time. But apparently that meant fuck all for Zayn.

Zayn was still staring and Niall crossed his arms in front of his chest, trying to hold himself together and make it look as if he was just annoyed.

"Why did you follow me? I’m sorry you’ve had bad experiences, whoever it was must’ve been a right arse, but you’ve made it pretty clear you don’t want to get to know me bet- hmmpf"

It had only taken Zayn a second to cross the bathroom, grab Niall’s face in both of his hands and smash their lips together.

Shocked, Niall didn’t respond immediately, until his brain finally caught up and reminded him that  _Zayn_  was kissing him, and he groaned quietly, arms wrapping around Zayn’s torso to pull him closer.

Gently, Zayn bit his lower lip and tugged on it, tongue peeking out to soothe the burn right away.

Niall eagerly parted his lips and licked into Zayn’s mouth, one of his hands slipping down to his hip and under his fancy white shirt.

There was a faint taste of smoke still there, maybe he’d been on a break not too long ago, but he tasted exactly the same like that night, and it made Niall’s head swirl.

Zayn moaned and buried one hand in Niall’s hair, tugging lightly.

A minute later he pulled away breathlessly, with shiny lips and hooded eyes. Niall couldn’t help but swoop in for another, shorter kiss right away.

When they separated, their hands had somehow ended up tangled between them, and neither of them let go.

"So, that was nice" Zayn said with a soft smile. "But even if the date isn’t going well, there’s still someone waiting for you out there."

Niall’s face fell quickly, the dopey smile slipping right off it.

"Shit" he mumbled. "Right, I totally forgot about that. Wow, I’m a right tit, sneaking off to the bathroom to make out with the hot waiter."

Zayn chuckled. “Yeah, well. Sorry about that. But I was thinking…if that would be alright with you, we could maybe talk after my shift ends? I feel like I’ve got a bit of explaining to do.”

"Yeah" Niall said, smiling and squeezing Zayn’s hands lightly. "Yeah, I’d like that."

"Great" Zayn smiled back, looking very bashful and cute all of a sudden. "I’ll see you later, then."

He leaned forward and kissed Niall’s cheek softly before shuffling towards the door, shy smile still in place. Niall’s heart was fluttering like mad.

When the door had closed behind Zayn, Niall allowed himself a brief moment of unbridled happiness, laughing out loud and spinning in a circle once, before he went to smooth down his hair and tried making the blush on his cheeks go away with cold water.

What was he supposed to tell Barbara?

Without a solution to that question, Niall walked back to their table, spotting Barbara seemingly chatting with someone on the table next to theirs.

Sheepishly, he sat down and she turned to face him, eyebrows raised. “Don’t tell me there was a queue.”

“Um” Niall mumbled, fumbling with his napkin.

“So you do know the waiter.”

Niall stared at her. Had it been that obvious?

“Um” he repeated. “Yeah, we’ve…met. And we had, um, some stuff to talk about. I’m sorry.”

Barbara snorted quietly. “I bet you did. Look, Niall, let’s be honest. This obviously hasn’t been a very good date so far and it won’t miraculously turn into one either, because you’re way more interested in the waiter than in me, and I deserve better than that.”

“You do!” Niall hurriedly told her. “And I’m really sorry about this. I didn’t plan on seeing him, I didn’t know he worked here. I didn’t even think I’d  _ever_  see him again. You do deserve more.”

"Alright" she nodded. "Well thanks for at least being honest now. You could’ve said so right away, though."

Niall nodded sombrely. “I don’t really have an excuse for that. Just…I was so thrown off by seeing him and I really did want to forget about him, so I guess I kind of tried to convince both of us?”

"You’re a nice guy, Niall" Barbara said with a small smile, reaching for her purse. "And I hope this works out for you the way you want it to."

"Thank you" Niall said sincerely. "I wish you all the best, too. And I’ll take care of the bill, obviously."

"Thanks for dinner, Niall."

"Bye, Barbara" Niall replied and stood up when she did, watching her leave.

She was beautiful, yeah, but Zayn could easily be a model as well. He sat back down with a small smile, taking out his phone. This awkward blind date had the potential to turn into the best night ever.

He had a text from Liam, asking how the date was.

**8.41 pm: Um over sorta ?**

**_8.43 pm: What does that even meannnnn_ **

**8.44 pm: Well she left…nice girl tho !**

**_8.44 pm: What happened?????_ **

Niall sighed, knowing that Liam was already imagining the worst case scenarios and he tried to figure out how to tell him what had happened when his phone buzzed with another text.

**_8.45 pm: wait can I call u_ **

**8.45 pm: Yeh !**

"What the hell happened, Nialler?" was the first thing Liam said when Niall answered his phone.

"Hello to you too, Liam" Niall chuckled. "Listen, it’s kind of a long story and probably the weirdest blind date ever so I’d kind of like to tell you the whole story another time, yeah? Besides, it might not even be over yet."

He caught Zayn’s gaze from across the room where he was clearing at table and gave him a small smile that the darker lad returned happily.

"What are you talking about? I thought you said she left?"

"Barbara did, yeah. But, and I’ll need you not to freak out right now, our waiter was Zayn."

There was silence on the other end of the line and Niall swallowed, shifting uncomfortably.

"We talked about some stuff and now I’m waiting for his shift to end so he can explain the rest."

"Niall" Liam sighed. "You know I love you, but this is the guy that left without a single word and broke your heart after only one night, are you sure you want to do this to yourself?"

"He deserves a chance" Niall said quietly, rubbing his temple with one hand.

"I only want the best for you, Niall."

Niall pried his hand away from his mouth when he realised he was gnawing on his thumbnail again. “I know, and I’m really grateful for that, I know you’re looking out for me. But I want to at least listen to his explanation.”

"Okay. It’s your decision and I trust you. Text me afterwards, yeah? Or call, whatever."

"Will do. Bye, Li."

Niall hung up and looked over to Zayn again who was watching him with a frown.

When he saw Niall wasn’t on the phone anymore, he started making his way over.

"You alright?"

"Yeah" Niall assured him. "I’m not having second thoughts. Just had to convince my best friend he doesn’t have to, either."

Zayn smiled. “So you’ve got one of those overly involved best friends, too? Look what mine texted me.”

He handed Niall his phone, showing a text exchange between Zayn and a person called Harry.

When Niall read the first messages he could see on the screen he had to bite his lip so he wouldn’t smile too big.

**7.24 pm: But he’s on a date :(((**

_7.26 pm: You don’t have to kiss him or anything. Just say hello, be polite and try to find out more_   _about that date of his .xx_

**8.13 pm: Haz !! It’s a blind date!! He wants to talk later ! Im the happiest man alive aha :) x**

_8.14 pm: Good. this is your one chance with him, don’t mess it up again .xx_

"Oh?" Niall said with a smile, handing Zayn his phone back. "Happiest man alive, huh?"

Zayn blushed prettily. “Well, I did think about you every day for two weeks.”

"You did?" Niall asked, voice hushed. Was this really happening?

"Yes." Zayn’s face was soft and he lifted his hand to brush his thumb across Niall’s cheek lightly. "This must seem so random to you. I’ll explain everything later, yeah? My shift is over at ten."

"Okay" Niall smiled. "Should I wait here, or..?"

"If you’re alright with that? It’s still over an hour but I can get you dessert, if you want?"

Niall chuckled. “A man after my own heart. Surprise me?”

Zayn laughed. “On it.”

He turned around and walked towards the kitchen swiftly. He must’ve been aware of Niall’s stare because he turned around and winked at him before disappearing.

Niall blushed and grinned to himself. He probably looked like an idiot, but he really didn’t care.

-

"Did anyone complain?" Niall asked Zayn when he walked into the restaurant dressed in his usual leather jacket.  Or well, at least the same on he’d been wearing when Niall met him. "About, you know, you spending too much time at one particular table?"

"Nah" Zayn grinned, patiently waiting for Niall to put on his own coat. "They teased me a bit, but no one told me off or anything. Wanna go for a walk?"

"Yeah, sure" Niall shrugged. "Might as well walk while talking."

Zayn smiled a half-smile. “Right, said I’d have some explaining to do, didn’t I?”

"Yeah, you did" Niall said, the anxious feeling rising in his chest again as they stepped out on the street, Zayn holding the door for him. "And you do. You’re the one who left before morning and snogged me in the bathroom of your workplace anyway."

"I know." Zayn sighed.

They walked in silence for a while and Niall let Zayn collect his thoughts as he was obviously trying to. It wasn’t cold outside yet, but the September night air wasn’t exactly warm either and Niall was thankful for his decision to throw on his jacket before he’d left.

"Look, Niall. I’m not gonna lie, I’m a bit of a mess. Last year, my boyfriend – or ex-boyfriend now obviously – cheated on me. I’m not gonna go into detail, at least not now, but it fucked me up pretty badly. I didn’t want to have my trust broken ever again, so I just stopped giving it to anyone in the first place."

He looked over to where Niall was walking next to him and the blonde could see how hard it was for Zayn to talk about this.

He tried smiling as encouragingly as possible and the corner of Zayn’s mouth twitched in response before he continued.

"I had one night stands, nothing more. Never stayed until morning, it was just about the sex for me. Didn’t usually even talk to the people much. Until…"

"Until you met me" Niall said quietly when Zayn didn’t continue.

They’d stopped walking and Zayn sighed again, sitting down on a bench nearby, patting the spot next to him so Niall would sit down.

"Until I met you" he confirmed. "I don’t know what made you so different right away, but I had more fun with you that night than I’d had in a long time. And I’m not just talking about the sex. But when I was lying in your bed with you in my arms, hearing you snoring, it felt so…normal? Like it was supposed to be that way. And it scared me, to feel this way when I didn’t even know you properly yet."

He wiped at his face tiredly, rubbing his eyes. “I guess I got stuck in my head again, freaking myself out more and more until I just…bailed. And then, when I couldn’t get you out of my head for all of this time, I started wondering whether I’d done the wrong thing. But what was I supposed to do? I didn’t think I could just show up at your doorstep after what had happened.”

Niall was quiet for a few moments before he started talking, fidgeting with his fingers instead of looking at Zayn.

"So what does this mean now? I - I understand that must’ve been hard for you, but I can’t…I don’t think I can be just a hook-up."

“That’s exactly what I’m trying to say, Niall.” Zayn tentatively reached for Niall’s hand, tugging on them until Niall stopped fumbling. “I’m trying to say that you never were just a hook-up, not even when we hooked up. Because you’re the first person I  _want_  to trust again.”

Niall swallowed. “Okay. Okay, but just…oh god, this’ll sound so bad but…I mean I’m glad if I can help you heal, in a way, but I just…”

“You’re worried I’ll drop you if…” Zayn said quietly and Niall nodded.

“When someone better comes along.”

“Niall…” Zayn squeezed Niall’s hand. “I can’t promise you we’ll be together forever, no one can do that. But I can promise you that I really wanna try. And that you’re the only one I’ve ever felt this…good with. Ever.”

“Yeah?” Niall mumbled. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be whiny or difficult or anything, it’s just…”

“I understand” Zayn said. “It’s okay. Just…do you wanna? Try? Because I’d really like to take you out on a date, and maybe kiss you some.”

Niall looked up at him, a smile slowly spreading across his face. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d love that. About the kissing tough…you don’t have to take me out first.”

Zayn chuckled. “I don’t?”

“No” Niall shook his head and slid even closer to him until their thighs were pressed close. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you all the time anyway but I haven’t stopped thinking about it since you left the bathroom.”

"So does that mean I get to kiss you now?"

"Whenever you want, really."

Zayn looked at Niall fondly, placing one hand on his cheek and leaning in until their noses brushed. “You know, I  _really_  like you.”

"I like you too" Niall said, smiling when he reached up and placed his hand at the nape of Zayn’s neck. "Now would you…?"

Zayn chuckled and pushed forward, finally connecting their lips.

Niall sighed into it, pushing even closer and thinking to himself that this could really work.

Apparently some blind dates did live up to their potential.


	12. take my body

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is actually very old and the first smut i ever wrote (and finished), but i only posted it on tumblr a few weeks ago. i wrote it after we got the videos of olly murs and the boys in japan in 2013 where niall kept hugging olly and telling him he loved him.  
> title is from _all i want_ by kodaline

Zayn scowled at Olly over the table. It was a pity, really, because Olly was a nice guy and all the boys loved him because he was always up for their shenanigans, joining in on everything. 

Whenever they were out together they’d all have the best time, reminiscing about the times they were on tour together and making new memories at the same time. 

But lately, Zayn had been noticing how much fun Niall had with him, and it pissed him off.  

The two of them seemed to have some sort of special connection and Zayn couldn’t even count the times Niall had told Olly loved him anymore. 

Sure, his boyfriend was always quite generous with his affection, but something about this particular relationship really irked him.  

Niall and Olly had gotten along right from the beginning on, since they first met. Zayn knew how Niall always tried to have a close relationship with their support acts, but he just felt like it was different with those two than for example the 5SOS lads. Although Niall hadn’t been subtle about his love for them either. 

So Zayn got possessive. Putting his arm around the back of Niall’s chair, pinching his side, playing with his hair, whatever he could do being in a public restaurant and all. It was what he hated most about not being allowed to come out: you were never really safe. Even if you were in some kind of sheltered environment, you couldn’t be sure there wouldn’t be anybody with a camera. 

When Niall laughed particularly hard and put his hand on Olly’s arm, Zayn huffed angrily and put his hand on Niall’s thigh in turn. And Niall noticed, Zayn knew he did. Knowing Niall, he’d probably seen right through Zayn this whole time. 

And still, he didn’t stop, he rather increased his flirting. Infuriated, Zayn stopped talking to anyone else, putting his focus only on Niall, who straight up ignored him.  

The legs of his chair made a loud, scratching sound when he pushed it back and got up. 

"Niall, will you please come with me for a second?" He kept his voice low, not wanting to attract attention, but threatening enough for Niall to know he was serious. 

Niall looked up at him, his blue eyes wide, and just nodded, getting up quickly. 

"Z…" he whispered, but Zayn just gave him a rough push, pushing him to the bathroom - it was one of those fancy, big ones that gave you a whole, closed off room to yourself - of the restaurant. 

"Zayn, what are y-"  

Zayn shut him up by pushing him up against the door, locking it in the process, and hungrily pressing their lips together. 

"Hmmpf" Niall made, but his fingers had already found their way into Zayn’s hair. 

Zayn forced Niall’s mouth open with his tongue and simultaneously grinded his hips forward, making Niall moan out his name. 

They continued kissing, but Zayn let his hands wander down Niall’s sides, gliding over Niall’s stomach and further down, starting to palm Niall through his pants. Niall’s hips thrust off the wall into Zayn’s hand and he let out a desperate whine. 

"What…what are you,  _fuck_ , doing, Zayn?” 

"Showing you who you belong to" Zayn replied, now nipping on Niall’s neck. 

"We’re in public" Niall said, trying to wriggle away. 

"You’ll just have to be a bit more quiet then, hmm?" Zayn’s grip on Niall’s hip tightened and he wedged his leg between Niall’s, brushing against his already hard cock. 

"Fuck" Niall breathed, and almost involuntarily started humping Zayn’s leg. "Fuck you, Zayn Malik." 

"Stop making me jealous, then." 

With a quick move, he pulled down Niall’s trousers and pants, making his flushed cock spring free. 

"Zayn" Niall moaned. 

"What? Tell me what you want, baby." 

"I…I need you to touch me." 

Zayn grabbed Niall’s cock without hesitation, swiping his thumb over the tip, gathering up precome he used to slick the movement of his hand. 

Niall moaned again, his eyes falling shut while his head dropped back to lean against the door.  

"Feel good, baby?" Zayn asked and flicked his wrist a little, making Niall’s hips stutter forward. 

"Y…Yeah, fuck, Zayn, please." 

"I’m going to jerk you off now and when we’re home, I’m going to fuck you so hard you’re going to think of me every time you move for at least a week" Zayn mumbled into Niall’s ear, never ceasing the regular strokes of his hands on Niall’s cock. 

"Ohmygod" Niall let out a strangled moan. "Zayn, fuck." 

He held onto Zayn’s arms for leverage and started thrusting into his hand more fervently. 

Zayn pulled down the collar of Niall’s shirt, biting down on the soft skin there. “Gonna mark you as mine.” He sucked harder, making sure to create a big, purplish lovebite just under Niall’s collar, hidden from the world but definitely there. 

"I’m yours, Z, you know I am" Niall gasped and pulled Zayn’s head forward, connecting their lips in a dirty, open mouthed kiss. 

Zayn reached down and cupped Niall’s balls in his hand, speeding up his strokes when Niall’s breathing became ragged. 

“‘m close” Niall mumbled, moaning louder this time. 

"Be quiet, love" Zayn urged and felt Niall bury his head in his shoulder. 

Feeling how close Niall was, he brushed his index finger against Niall’s hole, feeling his whole body tense and then shudder. 

Niall bit down on Zayn’s shoulder, muffling his shout and came all over Zayn’s hand, spurts of white shooting out of him. 

Zayn stroked him through his high, tenderly rubbing his fingers down Niall’s spine. 

Zayn reached behind himself to get a cloth, afraid to let Niall go, seeing as he was currently leaning heavily on him, his legs wobbly. 

He carefully cleaned Niall and himself up, tucked Niall back into his pants and kissed his temple lightly. “You alright, love?” 

“’m fine” Niall mumbled, nuzzling his neck. “’s just you tired me out.” 

Zayn chuckled. 

Niall straightened up a little, looking up at Zayn and then down at his crotch, where his trousers still felt quite tight. “D’you want me to -?” 

“No, it’s alright, baby. I’ll wait till we’re home.” 

“Okay.” Niall smiled and kissed him softly. “If this is what I get I should probably make you jealous more often.” 

Zayn nudged his nose against Niall’s. “You don’t need to make me jealous to get sex, that’s the thing.” 

“You’re really hot when you’re jealous though.” 

Zayn laughed quietly. “Stop it or I won’t be able to wait until later.” 

“You don’t have to.” Niall’s hand already made its way downwards, but Zayn stopped him. 

“I want to, though. I’ve got plenty planned.” 

“Fuck, Zayn, this isn’t fair!” Niall’s pupils were still blown wide and his face was flushed. Zayn thought he’d never been more beautiful. 

“Patience, love, patience.” 

Niall huffed and pushed Zayn off him. “Are we going back to the others then?” 

“Sure” Zayn said, grinning at Niall’s behaviour. He went to wash his hands and splash some water in his face, trying to calm down enough for his erection to recede. He really didn’t need any more stupid comments than they’d already get anyway. 

 At the door, Niall pulled him close and kissed him once more. “I love you, you know that right?” 

"Yeah, I know. I love you too." 

Zayn squeezed Niall’s hand and together, they left the bathroom, reluctantly letting go. 

Approaching the table, Olly was now talking animatedly to Louis. 

"Oi, lads! Had a nice talk then?" Louis was grinning from ear to ear, he knew full well what they had been up to. 

"Yeah thanks, mate" Zayn deadpanned. "Very satisfying. Niall spilled all kinds of things." 

Niall blushed beet red while Louis and Olly just burst out laughing. 

"Ew, too much information!" Liam yelled, covering his ears. "Thank you very much for that, lads." 

Their whole table started laughing and Zayn was really thankful he had such amazing friends. 

Under the table, Niall squeezed his hand and they smiled at each other. Zayn was even more thankful he had his boyfriend. 


	13. "things you said..." drabbles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drabbles based on the prompts i got for [this post](http://kissingziall.tumblr.com/post/110577749135/send-me-a-ship-and-one-of-these-and-ill-write-a)

_**21\. things you said when we were on top of the world** _

 

“ _You make my heart feel like it’s summer when the rain is pouring down, you make my whole world feel so right when it’s wrong, that’s how I know you are the one_ …”

“That the new Kodaline song?” Zayn asked around his toothbrush, trying to speak loud enough for Niall to hear him over the sound of the shower and his own singing.

The sun was shining through the windows in their hotel room and they had a few days to enjoy it before flying to Melbourne for the third show of their new tour. It felt good to be back on the road, and even better to be reunited with his boyfriend. Zayn was the happiest he’d been in a long time.

“Yeah, I’m obsessed with it” Niall called back and turned the shower off. He reached for a towel just as Zayn finished brushing his teeth and stepped up close behind him, pressing a sweet kiss to Zayn’s shoulder. “Maybe because they’re Irish. Or maybe because it’s spot on right now.”

Zayn smiled and turned around, wrapping his arms around Niall and pulling him close. “You know we’re in Australia, right? It  _is_  summer.”

Niall huffed. “That’s all you’re gonna say to me after I just confessed my undying love –“

Zayn kissed him quiet.

* * *

 

_**14\. things you said after you kissed me / 20. things you said that I wasn’t meant to hear** _

 

"You ready?" Niall asked, rolling his shoulders nervously and jumping up and down.

The roar of the crowd was loud enough to drown out nearly everything else but he was close enough so Zayn could understand him anyway.

“Ready as I’ll ever be” he shrugged. “Excited to be back, like. Been a while.”

Niall laughed. “’m glad you lads are here now too. Australia’s been a bit…big without you.”

“Looked like you had fun, though” Zayn said, grabbing Niall by the shoulders gently when he still wouldn’t stop hopping. “Calm down, mate.”

“Had a blast” Niall grinned, settling against Zayn. “But listen to the fans out there, Zayn. That’s where we belong, the five of us, together.”

“Yeah” Zayn agreed, heart beating quickly in his chest. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the screaming waiting for them or if it was Niall. “I missed you.”

“Missed you, too.” Zayn had to read the words from his lips because they were spoken so softly, but Niall’s smile said it all anyway.

He turned away when someone called his name and Zayn sighed, dropping his hands that, for some reason, had still been resting on Niall’s shoulders. Well,  _he_  knew the reason.

“I wish you felt the same way” he mumbled quietly, except.

Apparently not that quiet at all though, because Niall turned around wide-eyed, staring at him. “What way?”

“What?” Zayn asked back, panicking. “I didn’t say anything.”

“I heard you, Zayn” Niall said, coming close enough so Zayn could see all his freckles, even in the dim light. “Do you think this is good timing? Five minutes before the first show of our new tour?”

“I didn’t…you weren’t meant to hear that” Zayn mumbled, looking at his feet. It was the worst timing to be rejected by your best friend who you were stupidly in love with and Zayn would give everything to be literally anywhere else in this moment.

Suddenly, Niall’s fingers were on his chin, tilting it upwards so Zayn was forced to look at him. Instead of disgusted, Niall’s face was soft, happy, and then his lips were on Zayn’s, just for a moment, but it felt even better than Zayn had imagined and he placed his hands on Niall’s chest to brace himself.

“I do feel the same way, you idiot” Niall laughed quietly, pecking the corner of his mouth. “And this is terrible timing because I can’t kiss you properly right now. So let’s go out and smash it, alright?”

* * *

 

_**10\. things you said that made me feel like shit** _

"Aw, do you have to go?" Niall whines when Louis gets up. "I thought we were having a FIFA night."

"Nah, mate" Louis says, looking far too chipper for Niall’s taste. "Had this FaceTime date scheduled since we got here."

"Can’t you reschedule it? Or like, text her you’ll be a bit late?"

"Nope", Louis’ already halfway out the door with a one-shouldered shrug.

"But -" Niall starts, looking to Zayn because Zayn’s often on his side - and maybe because he just likes looking at Zayn, so what.

"Leave it, mate" Zayn says though, voice sharper than Niall’s used to with him and it makes him flinch. "That’s something you just don’t get when you’ve never been in a committed relationship."

_Wow_ , Niall thinks as his face falls because that stab hit right where it hurts most,  _and whose fault is that?_

**_&_ **

_**3\. things you said too quietly / 5. things you didn’t say at all** _

It’s Zayn’s fault that Niall’s never been in a committed relationship. Kind of, at least. Or maybe it’s more Niall’s fault because he just can’t stop being madly in love with him, even if he knows it’s hopeless.

He looks over to where Zayn is still sitting, not knowing how much his words stung. The thing is, he’s tried telling Zayn, but whenever he tells him he loves him it seems to be too quiet, too much like when he tells anyone else, not enough to make Zayn  _get it_.

What Niall hasn’t told him explicitly is that he’s in love with him.

* * *

 

_**6\. things you said under the stars and in the grass** _

 

Their hands are tangled and Niall thinks he’s never been as happy as tonight, on his back in his garden, looking up at the stars. He’s always been fascinated by space and he loves that Zayn shares his passion, or at least supports it enough to be out here with him, waiting for the ISS to fly over.

“Thank you” he says, turning to look at Zayn who’s already looking back, a soft smile on his face.

Zayn shuffles closer, their shoulders knocking against each other, and kisses him quickly.

As if it’s the most obvious thing ever, he says: “I love you.”

* * *

 

_**20\. things you said that i wasn’t meant to hear** _

Whenever Niall falls asleep on their crappy sofa during one of their movie nights he still wakes up in his bed, and after a whole year of living with Zayn he’s figured out that Zayn carries him there and tucks him in, which doesn’t exactly help lessen the crush he has on his flatmate.

He’s slept through it every time though, and Niall wants to know how Zayn does it. So tonight, when he feels his eyes start to droop, he closes them but fights sleep, cuddling into Zayn’s side as if he’s falling asleep.

Niall evens out his breath and does his best to seem convincingly asleep. It seems to work because he hears Zayn chuckle fondly and turn down the volume of the TV. Shortly after, when the credits are rolling, Niall feels Zayn move beside him.

“Niall?” he asks quietly and Niall manages not to react at all. “You asleep, babe?”

It’s not the first time Zayn’s called him that, but Niall’s heart still picks up speed. It’s not fair.

He finds out Zayn can apparently carry him bridal style easily and lower him onto his bed as if he weighs nothing.

Niall keeps his eyes closed as Zayn pulls his blanket up over him, but then his lips are on Niall’s forehead suddenly, which is very different.

“I love you” Zayn whispers, and well. That’s different enough for Niall’s eyes to snap open, staring right into Zayn’s.

* * *

 

_**15. things you said with too many miles between us** _

"…so I said "I appreciate you being a responsible mailman, sir, but I swear my boyfriend would appreciate it even more if you gave me the package and he wouldn’t have to pick it up after he gets home from Australia" Zayn said, pulling a frustrated face into the webcam and making Niall laugh harder. "But he wouldn’t listen, kept saying I couldn’t prove it and there was no way he was gonna leave the package for you while you weren’t home."

"Thanks for the effort, babe" Niall laughed. "You should just marry me already, we wouldn’t have those problems then."

Zayn only faltered a little, unsure of how to react to his boyfriend’s words, uttered through a tinny laptop speaker while he was on the other end of the world. They’d been dating for a long time already, but there were definitely too many miles between them to start talking about  _marriage_.

Heart racing in his chest, Zayn laughed a little awkwardly and tried getting back into the story, if only to see Niall laugh like that again.

_**&** _

_**16\. things you said with no space between us** _

__

"Hey, so" Niall said conversationally with his mouth on Zayn’s neck, literally no space between their sticky bodies. "Remember that thing I said?"

"Niall" Zayn laughed, hand running up and down Niall’s back. "You haven’t said all that much since you walked through the front door."

Niall huffed. “Yeah, well, missed ya.”

"Missed you too" Zayn mumbled, because he knew Niall loved Australia and loved spending time with his friends and family over there, but it was too fucking far away. "What did you mean, though?"

"I mean…when we were facetiming last week. Remember? I said that thing about you marrying me."

Zayn could feel his body going rigid, because he  _did_  remember that, had thought about it every day, actually.

"…Yeah?" he asked carefully, heart thumping.

"Well, I like, thought about it, yeah?" Niall murmured, still not moving an inch from Zayn. "And I realised that I meant it."

Zayn’s heart picked up even more speed and Niall felt it, placing his hand over it on Zayn’s chest softly.

"What are you saying, Ni?" Zayn asked, trying to contain his smile because he was pretty sure he knew what it was.

"What I’m saying is" Niall said, tilting his head up to kiss Zayn’s jaw and meet his eyes. "Zayn Malik, will you marry me?"

* * *

 

_**23\. things you said when i died** _

 

"Why are you crying, Ni?" Zayn asked, trying to smile despite the pain in his chest that seemed to slowly spread through his whole body. "This was bound to happen eventually. And I’ll be back before you know it."

"You’re still dying, Zayn" Niall cried, tears still falling. It made Zayn hurt more than the bullet in his chest.

"That doesn’t mean much for us, you know that" Zayn whispered, lifting his strangely heavy hand to cradle Niall’s cheek and brush his tears away. "None of us can die permanently, and we’ve been told to expect this when we’re out in the field."

"But you did it to protect me! I can’t die either and you still jumped right in front of his gun when he went for me, and now you’re in pain and it’s my fault."

"It’s not your fault, Niall, it’s only his." He looked over to the limp body on the ground a few feet away. "And now he can’t hurt anyone anymore."

"Does it hurt much?" Niall whispered, placing his hand on top of Zayn’s which was still on his face.

"Like hell" Zayn said, trying to laugh and ended up coughing, rattling. "But it’ll be over in a minute, I can feel it."

And he could, like a darkness blurring the edges of his vision and making him lose the feeling in his limbs. It wasn’t nice.

"Now stop crying, yeah? I want your smile to be the first thing I see when I wake up."

Niall sobbed once and Zayn could feel his lips pressed to his palm in a trembling kiss.

Just before everything faded to black, he heard Niall’s words, soft and earnest.

"I love you, Zayn."

-

Coming back felt like the reverse process of dying, and Zayn didn’t like it much either.

First was a dull ache in all of his body as it slowly regained feeling. His lungs burned as he took a rattling breath and then he could feel Niall’s hands on his face, hear his frantic voice without being able to make out specific words.

His hearing and vision needed a little longer to adjust and as Niall’s words slowly came into focus, so did the light behind Zayn’s eyelashes.

"Zayn, can you hear me? Please say something, oh god…this is the worst feeling ever, I  _know_  you can’t die but you were dead, your hand was so cold, oh god Zayn, please come back. Come on, you’re breathing again, can you say something? Please tell me you’re alright.”

Slowly, Zayn opened his eyes and watched as Niall’s face got less blurry as the seconds ticked by.

He’d stopped rambling but his hands were on Zayn’s face and there were still tear tracks on his cheeks, worry in his big, blue eyes.

"I love you, too" Zayn croaked, and Niall’s face went pink very quickly, a smile spreading across it.

"Oh thank god" he murmured. "I was afraid I’d have to deny I said anything at all."

Zayn chuckled weakly and lifted his hand to wrap his fingers around Niall’s wrist, thumb brushing across the back of his hand while Niall was softly stroking his face. “Please don’t. I’ve waited too long to say those words.”

"Yeah, same" Niall said softly. "I can’t believe you had to  _die_  for us to get our shit together.”

"Niall" Zayn said, tugging on Niall’s shirt to get him to move closer when he felt his strength returning slowly. "I think a kiss would make me feel a lot better right now."

Niall grinned, leaning forward until their faces were mere inches apart. “Anything to make you feel better.”

And when Niall kissed him, Zayn would’ve sworn he hadn’t just died on the cold ground of an abandoned building.


	14. dialogue drabbles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drabbles for prompts i got from [this post.](http://kissingziall.tumblr.com/post/114161078905/send-me-two-or-more-characters-and-a-number-and) as you see i love doing these little writing excercises on tumblr haha :)  
> there's one lirry drabble in here but i don't know if that's enough to tag it already?

**_1\. “Can I kiss you?”, 18. “Do you ever think we should just stop this?”_ **

 

“Do you ever think we should just stop this?”

The words are like a punch to Niall’s gut and he tries to get his expression under control before he turns to face Zayn. “Where’s this coming from?”

“I just…” Zayn doesn’t come closer, watches him warily from where he’s standing a couple of feet away. They haven’t even been doing anything special, Niall was just sitting there plucking on the strings of his guitar, not expecting any of this. “Sometimes I feel like we aren’t going anywhere. Like this isn’t going anywhere.”

“What do you mean?” Niall asks. “Where do you want us to go?”

“Niall”, Zayn sighs. “I meant, like progress. Taking this relationship a step further, or something. I don’t know.”

Niall’s heart has very suddenly picked up speed, thudding against his ribs like a caged bird. “This…relationship?” he repeats. “So you think of this as a relationship?”

Zayn frowns at him, something like insecurity flickering across his face. “I’m…what did you think it was?”

Niall laughs and this time Zayn’s face does fall and he turns away halfway before Niall jumps up, placing his guitar on the floor and gripping Zayn’s arm before he can do anything stupid like leave. “No! No, Zayn, I wasn’t laughing at you. Jesus, I was laughing at how dumb we are.” Zayn doesn’t try to shake Niall’s arm off and he’s turned back towards him now, confusion clear on his face.

“I never thought you thought of us as, like, boyfriends”, Niall explains, his stomach doing a fluttery thing at the word. He drops Zayn’s arm and starts fiddling with the hem of his shirt. “So I never said anything.”

“But…you want us to be?” Zayn looks hesitant but hopeful, and Niall feels all light and floaty.

“Yeah”, he breathes.

A smile lights up Zayn’s face and he lifts his hand to brush his thumb across Niall’s cheek. “Me too. We’re bloody idiots.”

Niall laughs and steps even closer, placing his hands on Zayn’s hips. This whole conversation has taken a 180° turn.

Zayn is still watching him, looking incredibly fond and beautiful and it kind of takes Niall’s breath away. “So”, Zayn mumbles, “now that we’ve cleared this up…Can I kiss you?”

There’s really nothing Niall can do but lean forward and kiss his boyfriend.

* * *

 

**_11\. “You don’t need to protect me.”_ **

 

“Hey!” Zayn calls, walking a bit faster to the huddle of boys in front of him. “Leave him alone.”

There’s three of them, your typical schoolboys, all of them tall and rather lanky but not particularly muscly. They’re looming over the smaller blond boy in their middle anyway, and they’re three against one, pushing him around.

When they spot him they take off quick enough and Zayn is for once thankful for the scary vibes he seems to be giving off. Maybe it’s the few years he has on them too.

He approaches Niall, the blond boy, and smiles at him. “Are you okay?”

Instead of smiling back at him, Niall is frowning. It’s an unusual look on the boy who’s lived across the street from Zayn their whole lives and is pretty much always laughing, as far as Zayn can tell. “You don’t have to protect me” he snaps. “I’m not your responsibility just because we’re neighbours. I can take care of myself.”

“Was I just supposed to stand here and watch?” Zayn asks, perplexed. Him and Niall are three years apart and weren’t very close growing up but they weren’t strangers either, and this reaction seemed odd to him.

“I don’t know”, Niall grumbles and his anger seems to be directed at himself rather than at Zayn. “I just don’t want you to see me as some helpless kid, I’m 18.”

“I know how old you are, Niall”, Zayn chuckles. He doesn’t miss the way Niall’s cheeks redden when he says his name. “Doesn’t stop me from caring about you.”

“You care about me?” Niall squeaks and blushes even more.

Zayn touches his arm fleetingly, almost as if he doesn’t think about it even if it’s a very deliberate move. This is something he knows how to do. “Of course. Walk you home?”

Niall almost stumbles to fall in step with him and grins up at Zayn. He’s still a little bit smaller than Zayn but it hasn’t escaped his notice how he’s gotten broader around the shoulders, arms more defined than they were before the summer. It’s nice to look at and Zayn finds himself smiling back at Niall.

He has a feeling this summer is gonna be interesting.

* * *

 

**LIRRY, 10. _“I just want this.”_**

 

“I just don’t get what you want from me, Liam.” You didn’t need to know Harry Styles very well to know that he rarely got angry enough to show his anger and Liam flinched at the harsh, frustrated words directed at him. “You say nothing’s wrong but no matter what I do you either mock me or get annoyed. What do you want?”

“Harry…” Liam hesitated. How was he supposed to say this?

Harry visibly deflated and just looked sad. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you. I just don’t understand why you can’t like me the way I like you.”

Liam watched him quizzically for a moment. Did he just…? He decided that yes, Harry had just told him he liked him in a slightly strange way that still made his heart skip a beat and he reached for Harry’s hand boldly. Harry’s eyes widened and jumped from Liam’s face to their entwined hands and back.

“You asked what I wanted”, Liam said. “I just want this. I want you.”

* * *

 

**_9\. “You know, it’s okay to cry.”_ **

 

“I obviously don’t want you to go”, Niall says quietly. It’s just him and Zayn left in the hotel room, sitting close on the bed. “No one wants you to, but if you think it’s what you need to do we’ll obviously support you.”

Zayn’s hand is on Niall’s thigh then, squeezing lightly. “Thank you”, he murmurs. He’s not looking at Niall but he underestimates how well Niall knows him, what he can tell from the muscle jumping at his jaw and the slight tremble of the hand on his thigh.

With a sigh, Niall places his hand softly on Zayn’s back. “You know, it’s okay to cry.”

And Zayn turns, buries his head in Niall’s neck and does just that.

* * *

 

**_19\. ziall, “Come home with me.”_ **

 

“What are out doing out here?”

The air is cool when Niall steps out onto the balcony to check on Zayn. It’s a nice change to the thick, hot air inside and the party noise.

Zayn shrugs. “Just smoking. Thinking.”

“There’s a party going on”, Niall reminds him softly, standing next to him by the railing.

“I know. Don’t feel much like partying tonight.”

Niall doesn’t say anything, just hums and rests his head against Zayn’s shoulder. They stand quietly for a few minutes, comfortable in their silence.

“D’you wanna go back inside?” Zayn asks eventually. He wraps an arm around Niall’s shoulders and rubs his arm. “It’s getting chilly.”

Niall turns his head and presses a lingering kiss to Zayn’s cheek. “Don’t feel like going back in there either, it’s too crowded and hot. Come home with me.”

Zayn nods with a smile and takes his hand.

* * *

 

**_4. “I’m flirting with you.”_ **

 

“Can I ask you something?” The words come out rushed because Niall is nervous, has been battling with himself about saying them since the other boys left, leaving him and Zayn behind.

“Sure, babe”, Zayn says, and that’s part of the problem. Has he always given Niall pet names or has he only started noticing it now? Niall’s pretty sure he would’ve noticed it before too.

“Um, I was just…” He glances at Zayn for a second but quickly looks away again. “You’ve been, hm, different with me lately and I guess I was just hoping…never mind.” Nervously, he runs a hand

through his hair and tries not to start biting his fingernails again. “I was just wondering what that’s about.”

Zayn scoots closer and Niall’s heart is hammering. He lets Zayn take his hand and pull it away from where he’d unconsciously started to bite at them again. Zayn doesn’t let go though, and he’s looking at Niall as if he’s nervous too. “Niall”, he says quietly. “I’m flirting with you.”

“Oh”, Niall makes, dumbfounded. “I was hoping that.”

“You were?” Zayn asks and they’re still holding hands, which doesn’t really help Niall’s heart to calm down. He just nods. “I’d really like to take you out on a date, if you want to.”

Niall has no way of knowing how this’ll end, if it’ll work out and what’ll happen to their friendship, what the other boys will say or if it’s even a good idea, but he has no doubt that he’s never wanted anything this much. “I’d love to.”

* * *

 

 

 

**_6. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like that.” ,  1. “Can I kiss you?”_ **

 

“Where are you going?”

Zayn turns around towards the sleepy mumble and finds Niall peeking at him from droopy eyes. He’s got messy hair and pillow imprints on his cheek and looks so cute it makes his chest hurt.

He doesn’t know how to say that he was going to sneak out before Niall woke up, so he stays silent. Realisation flits across Niall’s face and then he just looks sad.

“Do you regret it?” he asks.

“It wasn’t supposed to happen like this”, Zayn says instead of an answer and Niall frowns, but the sadness has been exchanged for something else that Zayn can’t quite place.

“Doesn’t answer my question”, Niall says, shaking his head. He sits up, the blanket pooling around his hips and showing off his pale chest and tummy. Zayn swallows. “Do you regret that we had sex?”

Zayn takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “No. I wish it wouldn’t have happened because we were both drunk, but I’d never regret it.”

Niall smiles and gets up from the bed. He’s naked and it’s highly distracting for Zayn who tries to stay cool. Niall’s always had something about it that made Zayn lose his cool, he thinks while Niall pulls on a pair of boxers. It’s not much better because there’s still an awful lot of naked skin displayed, but at least it has sort of dulled the urge to push Niall right back onto the bed and climb on top of him.

“Thought I should be at least partly dressed for this conversation”, Niall says and there’s a blush high on his cheekbones. Zayn still wants to touch, but he also wants to hear what Niall has to say. “I don’t regret it either, and if we needed alcohol for the courage, that’s fine with me. We’ll just have to repeat it sober.”

Zayn almost chokes as his heart jumps up to his throat. “You want a repeat?”

“Actually, I’d like lots of repeats on the regular if you want that too.” Niall’s blush is more prominent now and he looks more nervous than Zayn’s ever seen him. “Ideally, I’d like to be your boyfriend, if I’m honest.”

“Oh my god”, Zayn says and he finally crosses the distance between them. “Yes. Yeah, I want that too.”

“Great.” Niall’s voice is low and his eyes are fixed on Zayn’s mouth. “Can I kiss you?”

“Yeah”, Zayn breathes and presses forward.

They’re both still more than half naked and the bed is  _right there_ , so making good use of it is just the logical conclusion.

* * *

 

**_14\. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”_ **

 

“Niall, are you okay?” a frantic voice asks and Niall opens his eyes that he’d squeezed shut when he dropped to the ground to look at Zayn hovering over him, looking freaked out.

“Of course he’s not, you idiot!” That’s Liam, running towards them and dropping to his knees next to Niall. “He’s got a busted knee, you can’t just push him like that.”

“I’m so sorry, I had no idea!” Zayn looks about to faint and Niall manages a tight grin. His knee hurts but he’s had worse and he’s pretty sure it’s nothing serious.

“It’s okay, mate”, he says. “You couldn’t have known.”

“Do you need to go to the hospital?” Liam asks.

“I’ll take you!” Zayn offers.

Niall chuckles a little and pushes himself up on his elbow. “Calm down, I don’t need to see a doctor. I’ll put some ice on it and I’ll be good as new tomorrow.”

“I can take you home? You probably shouldn’t be riding your bike right now.”

“So I should ride yours?” Niall knows Zayn doesn’t have a licence and no matter how nice the offer is, he doesn’t feel like balancing on someone else’s bike. “I’ll just call my mum or something.”

“Not on my bike, I’m here with my motorcycle”, Zayn explains. “It’s safe, I promise.”

Niall mulls it over for a second, weighing his options. He can either call his mum, but she’s at work and will only worry about him way too much, or he can get on Zayn’s motorcycle with him and possibly hold on a little bit too tight. It’s not that hard of a decision. “Okay.”

“You sure you’re alright?” Liam asks as he and Zayn help Niall up.

Niall drapes one arm across Zayn’s shoulder (he does need the support to walk, but it’s also a great excuse to finally touch Zayn Malik, unapproachable and beautiful new student that Niall may or may not have a huge crush on) and nods. “Don’t worry about me, Li. Go kick their arses, you can still win that game for us.”

Liam grins but turns serious once more when he addresses Zayn. “Take care of him.”

“I will”, Zayn promises, and then he and Niall slowly hobble off the pitch.

“Me knee’s been shite since I was a kid”, Niall says. “I keep dislocating it, this is the usual risk of playing footie.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“It’s really okay, Zayn” Niall laughs. “Nothing happened.”

“Nothing except me doing a terrible job at impressing you.” It’s just a mumble and Niall isn’t sure he’s heard correctly.

“I’m sorry, what?” he asks.

“Louis told me if I wanted to get you to like me, I should play footie with you guys. I knew it was a terrible idea.”

“You…you were trying to get me to like you?” Niall repeats. “Like, like?”

Zayn laughs. They’ve arrived at his motorcycle and he gently helps Niall sit down on it. His cheeks are a little pinker than usual. “Yeah, I wanted to lay a good foundation to ask you out.”

“Jesus”, Niall says. “You wouldn’t have had to make such a fuss. You could’ve literally just asked me anywhere and I would’ve said yes.”

“Really?”

Niall hums and pulls him a little closer by his jersey. “Can I get a kiss for the inconvenience now?”

Zayn chuckles and places his hand on his motorcycle, left and right of Niall. And then he kisses him.

Niall’s pretty sure that at least half of the people at his school have fantasised about making out with Zayn on his motorcycle, and he can’t believe he of all people gets to actually live the dream. It’s possibly the best kiss he’s ever had, definitely the best first kiss, but his knee is starting to act up and he pulls away reluctantly.

“I’d love to continue this” he says a little breathlessly, “but can we get my knee iced first?”

Zayn drives him home, makes him prop his knee up on the sofa and gets him an ice pack and something to drink.

Niall’s had to spend lots of afternoons on the couch because of his knee, but it sure is a lot nicer when Zayn is there to distract him.

* * *

 

_  
**2\. “I can’t let you do this.”, 7. “How long has it been?”** _

 

Zayn’s packing his carry-on when Niall stumbles into his dorm room.

“I can’t let you do this”, he pants.

Zayn turns to him, confused. “Do what?”

“Leave.”

Frowning, Zayn takes a step towards his best friend. “Have you been drinking, Ni?”

“…maybe?”

Zayn snorts. “It’s not even 4pm yet, babe.”

Niall shrugs carelessly. “When does your plane leave?”

“It’s at 6am tomorrow, but you know this, you’ve literally asked me seven times”, Zayn chuckles fondly. “Besides, I’ve seen it in your calendar on your phone.”

Niall blushes and pouts. “I’ll miss you.”

“Aw”, Zayn makes and crosses the last space left between them, hugging Niall. “I’ll miss you too, but it’s just for spring break. I’ll be back in Dublin and with my favourite Irishman before you know it.”

He goes to pull away but Niall tightens his hold and Zayn settles against him. “Am I your favourite Irishman?”

“Course you are, Nialler”, Zayn mumbles. “You’re the reason I’m still at uni here and not in England.” Niall hums and doesn’t show any intention to let Zayn go anytime soon. “What did you mean earlier? Why can’t you let me leave?”

Niall is silent for a few minutes, breath tickling Zayn’s neck, and then he pulls away. His face is serious when he looks at Zayn, and he doesn’t seem drunk at all anymore.

“I had a couple of pints to find the courage to do this”, he admits, glancing at Zayn for a second and quickly looking away again, looking at his hands that he’s fiddling with nervously. “So I guess I’m just gonna say it. I don’t want you to leave without knowing how I feel about you.”

Zayn’s heart skips a beat and he takes a step towards Niall again.

“Are you –“, he starts, trying to gather his thoughts. “Are you saying what I think you are? Because if you are, the night before I leave for a month is literally the worst time you could’ve picked.”

“What?”

“Niall”, Zayn says and reaches for his hand. Niall grips it, a strangely surprised look on his face. “I’ve fancied you since before we even met properly, and I’ve just fallen more and more in love with you every day for the past months. If you’re saying you feel the same way I might actually want to punch you because I’m about to go home and I literally would’ve picked any other time –“

Niall kisses him.

“We can FaceTime”, he mumbles, barely pulling away enough for Zayn to understand him. Not that he minds, he’s only been imagining this for over six months. “How long has it been?”

“Has what been?” Zayn asks, distracted by Niall’s hands on his skin.

“Have you really liked me since before we met?”

“Saw you from afar on the first day and I’ve been gone for you ever since”, Zayn clarifies. Maybe it’s a bit embarrassing, but all it took was one of Niall’s smiles.

Niall smiles and pushes him back towards his bed. “Good. Now take that suitcase off your bed so I can forget about you leaving until tomorrow.”

 


	15. i'm just too far (from where you are)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _hei, cutie-pia-pie, you said i can send you a prompt right? write me jealousZayn that he's being grumpy during phone call or skype based on that Liam kissing Niall's cheek? as fluffiest as you can to charge me for the week? thank you a bunch, gorgeous!! <3_  
> got this prompt from a very cute person on tumblr after [this](http://kissingziall.tumblr.com/post/114338907695/3-22-15) happened and i ended up writing this drabble that completely ignores the actual reason for zayn leaving tour. so it's basically canon compliant but also very much not because most days i choose to live in a lovely au where zayn and niall are happily secretly dating and only have tiny little bumps they need to get past in their relationship. anyway. here we go!  
> (title is from _home_ by michael bublé)

„Hey, Zaynie“, Niall said softly when his phone screen lit up with the FaceTime call from his boyfriend. “Y’alright?”

The light from his window was shining over Zayn’s shoulder, still the middle of the day there, and Niall could tell he was lying on their bed in his London house, not back in Bradford with his mum. His hair was down and soft looking, and he was wearing one of Niall’s jumpers he’d taken with him. It made Niall’s heart yearn with how much he wanted to be there with him, bury his nose against Zayn’s neck and breathe him in. Comforting him.

“You having fun without me?” It was sharper than anything Niall had expected in reply and he winced.

“What?” He lay down on his hotel bed too, not on his stomach like Zayn was but on his back, resting against the pillows. “You know we’d rather have you here with us.”

“Why is Liam going around kissing you on stage then?”

For a second, Niall debated laughing at that but quickly discarded the idea again. This was not the right situation for laughing at the absurdity of Zayn’s words. “We all deal with you being away differently, babe” he explained. “Harry is even more excited and jumping all over the stage, I think he’s trying to cover up there’s one person less onstage. Liam and I get more affectionate, I guess.”

“Yeah, well, I can see that”, Zayn grumped. “He didn’t even bother pulling away to talk.”

Zayn was jealous, was the thing, Niall knew that. And it was adorable but also kind of really stupid, because Niall was pretty fucking sure he’d never feel about anyone the way he felt about Zayn.

“But that was Liam”, he said carefully. “I love him, but you know that’s not even comparable to what I feel for you.”

Zayn sighed and rubbed his eyes with one hand. “Sorry, love. ‘m grumpy.”

“That’s okay”, Niall whispered. “Miss you.”

“Miss you, too.”

“You doing okay though?” Niall asked.

“Yeah, love. Think I’ll be back soon? I just needed a breather.” Zayn already looked better than when he’d left, despite the remnants of jet lag, and it settled the unease in Niall’s chest.

“D’you wanna hear a few concert stories?” he asked and Zayn nodded, settling more comfortable with his phone propped against a pillow while he rested his head on his arms. He looked cute and cuddly and Niall wanted to kiss him a lot. Instead, he settled on smiling and tracing Zayn’s face on the small screen. “Love you.”

“Love you too”, Zayn smiled back at him. “Have you showered and stuff already?”

“All ready for bed”, Niall nodded.

“Good. How about you get into bed then and tell me all about today? I’ll stay on the line until you fall asleep.”

Happily, Niall wriggled out of his tee and the shorts he’d been wearing, putting on a little show for Zayn when he slowly slid them down his hips and legs. Zayn laughed a little and sighed wistfully down the line. “I miss you.”

“Can’t wait to have you back here with me”, Niall retorted, slipping under the light blanket. Manila was really fucking warm. “Always sleep best with you next to me.”

“Soon”, Zayn promised. “And now tell me what you’ve been up to today.”


	16. all my senses come to life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> niall goes over to zayn's after the asian awards. he really likes his new hair. bottom!zayn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i saw a few people demanding fics and fanart featuring zayn's new hair and i guess this is my contribution! it's also fluffy smut once again, what else is new lol  
> title is from _one_ by ed sheeran :) hope you like this!

Niall lets himself in, sneakily putting in the security code and hushing through the gate first, then the door. He really hopes it’s late enough for there not to be any paps around anymore. It’s been even more of a pain getting to Zayn’s house unseen lately.

Zayn’s in the lounge, still wearing his shirt and the fancy blue pants of his suit, tie undone. He looks up at the blond with a lazy smile. “Been waiting for you.”

Niall crosses the room, sits down on Zayn’s lap without hesitance, straddling him. “Yeah?”

Zayn hums and slides his hands up Niall’s thighs until they come to a rest at his hips. “Missed you.”

“You saw me yesterday”, Niall chuckles, cupping Zayn’s jaw and letting his thumb stroke the light stubble on his cheek. “Missed you too, though.”

It’s been like this since Zayn left the band, they spend all the time they possibly can together but Niall still misses him whenever they’re apart. Maybe it’s because he knows Zayn won’t be there when they go back on tour in June. He even thought about cancelling his trip to the Masters but Zayn said he’d be crazy not to take that opportunity, and in the end he’s glad he went. It’s been an incredible experience.

Zayn tilts his face upwards and Niall leans down to kiss him softly. He places his other hand at the nape of Zayn’s neck while one of Zayn’s hands wanders under the shirt he’s wearing.

“You didn't tell me you wanted to cut your hair”, Niall mumbles against Zayn's lips, lifting one hand to run it across his boyfriend's new buzz cut. It feels surprisingly nice, a bit like Liam's used to but still different. Maybe that's just because it's Zayn though, because touching Liam has never ever felt like touching Zayn does.

“Surprise”, Zayn whispers and they both giggle, pulling apart enough to be able to breathe. “How was Eoghan’s party?”

“Fun, the lads were wild as usual”, Niall says, chuckling at the memory of Eoghan and Willie trying to prove they could take out Bressie. They ended up on the floor obviously, and Niall laughed so hard he almost choked on his pint. “Heard you had a pretty wild night yourself though.”

Zayn grins. “It was good, yeah.”

“I'm gonna need you to tell me every little detail tomorrow morning, but for now…is your mum staying here?”

“Yeah, she went to bed when we got home.”

“That means we can't stay here”, Niall muses and Zayn frowns.

“Why? What do you mean?”

“We can't stay in the living room”, Niall explains, leaning forward to kiss Zayn once. “Because I've got things planned.”

“Oh?” Zayn raises one eyebrow. “What kind of things?”

“Whatever you want”, Niall shrugs, trying to seem cool despite of the flush he can feel on his face. “The only plan was to make you feel good, to do whatever you want.”

Zayn's hands on his hips tighten and he presses he lips to Niall's throat before speaking again.  “Anything?”

Niall shivers, digs his fingernails into the tendon at Zayn’s neck. “Anything you want.”

Zayn groans low and sucks a mark into the pale skin where Niall’s shoulder meets his neck. When he looks up at Niall again, his eyes are twinkling. “I’m not carrying you to the bedroom.”

Niall laughs and kisses him, short and sweet, before he gets up, pulling Zayn to his feet as well and wrapping an arm around his waist so they’re standing chest to chest for a moment. He leans in for another kiss and Zayn responds eagerly, running his hair through Niall’s hair and messing it up thoroughly. “I’m very proud of you”, he whispers when he pulls away and Zayn ducks his head and blushes cutely. Niall loves him.

“Mentioned you in my acceptance speech”, Zayn says quietly when he leads Niall to his bedroom, fingers entwined, and Niall’s heart jumps in his throat.

“Me?”

“All of you”, Zayn shakes his head, closing the door behind them. “I couldn’t really talk about you separately, and it’s true that I wouldn’t be here now if it weren’t for all four of you. Thought about you though.”

“That's enough for me”, Niall says and watches as Zayn sits down on the edge of the bed. He walks over and straddles him again, kisses him. “I love you, you know?”

“I know, but I like hearing it”, Zayn smiles. “Love you, too.”

They kiss again, and Niall can tell the mood has changed. They're tender and loving, even as he pushes Zayn onto his back, deepening the kiss and hovering over him. “What do you want?”

Zayn looks up at him, fingers tugging lightly on the hair at the back of Niall's head. “I want to go slow tonight”, he says quietly, nipping along Niall's jaw up to his ear. “Nothing fancy, just you taking your time prepping me and then fucking me.”

Niall groans quietly, brings his hips down once to meet Zayn's. “Okay, yeah, of course.” It's not like Zayn never bottoms, but he doesn't do it often either and something about the fact that he chose this out of literally everything he could've picked is incredibly hot.

Zayn tightens his fingers in his hair and pulls him closer, kissing him deeply and Niall goes easily, slotting one of his thighs between Zayn's and letting his hand settle on his lower back.

Soon, Zayn starts getting impatient, hips bucking up and fingers scrambling to get under Niall's shirt.

“Thought I was supposed to take my time”, Niall chuckles but sits up anyway, straddling Zayn's hips who whines again. Niall takes off his own shirt and flings it away, leaning down to loosen Zayn's tie and put it away more carefully.

He knee walks down the bed until he can untuck Zayn's shirt from his trousers, running his fingers along the waistband teasingly. “I really like this suit, have I told you?”

“No”, Zayn says, sounding strained. “Niall…”

“Hmm?” Niall hums inquiringly as if he doesn't know exactly what Zayn wants. He rucks Zayn's shirt up just enough to nose along the skin above his waistband, and Zayn groans again. He's at least half hard already and Niall takes pity, pulling down his fly mostly to make sure the suit isn't damaged. It is a nice one, he wasn't lying about that.

Once the fly’s open there's really no reason for Zayn to keep his trousers on so Niall pulls them down, even gets up to put them on the chair so they don't wrinkle. He takes the opportunity to shack his own skinny jeans before getting back on the bed from where Zayn is watching him.

He kisses him again, dragging his lips down Zayn's throat to his collarbone, pushing away the shirt so he can mouth along there.

Niall stops abruptly when his foot catches on Zayn's calf, pulling away to huff out a laugh. “We're still wearing socks.”

“Don't care”, Zayn says and Niall would be lying if he said he doesn't like the fact he can get Zayn like this so quickly, but there's no way they're having sex with their socks on. He tells Zayn as much and gets a breathy laugh in response. “Alright, okay, socks are a bit unsexy.”

“The plan is to make this as good as possible for you”, he explains while he takes off both of their socks, “and that's not gonna work with our socks on.”

“Get back up here then”, Zayn orders and Niall listens, kisses Zayn's knee before he lets Zayn pull him down on top of him.

They snog for a while, grinding slowly, and Niall kisses down Zayn's throat again. When he reaches Zayn's collar this time he starts unbuttoning the white shirt, kissing the skin he reveals with every button he pops open. He stops at the waistband of Zayn's boxer briefs, pressing a kiss to the heart tattooed on his hip, before helping Zayn take off the shirt and returning to his former position.

He kisses Zayn again and grinds down pointedly, groaning at the friction through just their boxers. Zayn's hands are on his arse, guiding him and Niall goes with it. This is about giving Zayn what he wants, after all. His own hands are busy caressing every part of Zayn's body he can reach, his arms, chest, hips – and often his head, as Niall finds himself reaching up again and again, feeling the rasp of Zayn's short hair against his palm, scratching his scalp. It feels really good.

Eventually though he gets frustrated with the cotton still separating them and slides down Zayn's body again, kissing his chest and hooking his thumbs under the waistband of his pants. He pulls them down, takes off his own boxers as well and starts kissing up the insides of Zayn's thighs. Zayn keens high in his throat and Niall smirks against his skin, continuing his ministrations until he reaches Zayn's cock, fully hard and nicely flushed. He's almost embarrassed by how his mouth waters before he takes the head into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the head. Zayn's hand flies up to Niall’s head, grabbing a handful of his hair when Niall takes him deeper. When Zayn pulls, Niall hums around his cock, bobbing his head enthusiastically.

When he pulls off, Zayn is breathing heavily and flushed all the way to his chest. Niall knows he probably looks even more debauched, it's always like this with Zayn: he can look fucked out or turned on, but first and foremost he still looks beautiful.

Niall presses a kiss to his hip, then taps it lightly. “Come on, turn over.”

Zayn's eyes widen and he nearly knees Niall in the stomach in his haste to turn on his belly. Chuckling, Niall retrieves lube and a condom from the bedside drawer and turns back to Zayn. He presses a soft kiss to one shoulder blade and traces the bumps of Zayn's spine, watching goosebumps erupt wherever his fingers touch. Another kiss, this time to one butt cheek, and then he presses a dry thumb against Zayn's rim. Zayn gasps and pushes back against it.

“Shh”, Niall makes and kisses just above where his thumb is resting. He retracts his finger but leaves his mouth there, flicking his tongue out to lick along Zayn's taint. Zayn makes another noise and Niall kitten licks his rim before he points his tongue and dips it in.

Zayn rolls his hips, trying to simultaneously get some friction on his cock and fuck himself back on Niall's tongue and Niall puts a hand on his hip to steady him, tries to lick deeper. Slowly, he pushes one finger in alongside his tongue, listens to Zayn's moans getting louder.

“Ni”, Zayn gasps. “Ni, wait.” Niall stops, pulls away slowly. “Gonna come if you continue this, but I want you to fuck me.”

Niall nods, kisses the dip in his lower back. “Just my fingers then?”

Zayn turns on his back again and Niall just stares for a minute, until Zayn nudges him with his foot, smirking a little. “Stop staring and touch me instead.”

Niall laughs and pops open the bottle of lube, coating his fingers before nudging two of them against Zayn’s rim. “Can you take two already?”

“Yeah”, Zayn hisses, rolling his hips impatiently. “Come on, I’m ready.”

Niall pushes in and Zayn throws his head back, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows a moan. Niall could probably get off like this, watching the expressions Zayn makes, the way his hands scrabble to find something to hold on to, how the muscles in his stomach contract. How his cock jerks when Niall finds his prostate.

He kisses Zayn’s thigh and adds another finger, scissoring them and nudging that spot inside Zayn that makes him get that much louder.

When he pulls his hand back, Zayn looks up at him. His face is flushed and sweaty and Niall thinks that usually, his hair would be sticking to his forehead by now, but he kind of really likes this view too. Zayn steadies himself on his elbows, breathing hard. “Let me blow you.”

Niall’s breath hitches. “Zayn…this is supposed to be about you, not me –“

“I like sucking your dick”, Zayn interrupts him. “Besides, I need a break before I get fucked or I’ll nut off the second you’re in me.”

Niall laughs a little breathlessly and sits back on his heels. He likes it when Zayn’s being brash, and he definitely likes Zayn’s mouth on him, so he’s pretty defenceless when Zayn manhandles him so he’s leaning against the headboard with Zayn kneeling between his legs. It’s a lovely view.

Zayn isn’t shy about it at all, swallows him right down, and Niall nearly chokes. “Slow down, baby”, he croaks, sliding his hand across Zayn’s buzz cut. Normally he’d grab a handful to signal when it’s getting too much, but he’ll have to make do without for now.

Zayn keeps going enthusiastically, alternating between kitten licks at the head and little jerks of is hand and taking as much of Niall as possible, and Niall hasn’t taken his hand from Zayn’s head. There’s nothing to hold on to but the slide of the short hair against his palm while Zayn’s head keeps bobbing up and down does something for him.

“Zayn”, he groans. “You gotta stop if you actually want to get to the fucking part tonight.”

Zayn pulls of his cock with a wet sound and looks up at Niall, licking his lips so obscenely Niall can’t bite his lip hard enough to keep the moan in. He drags Zayn onto his lap and licks into his mouth greedily, tasting himself. Zayn’s hands are in his hair again and he rolls his hips against Niall’s, their cocks rubbing together in delicious friction.

“Can’t pull your hair anymore when you suck my dick”, Niall mumbles and Zayn tugs on his in response. Niall places both of his hands on Zayn's arse, lets one finger graze his rim and bites at Zayn's lip when it goes slack at the intrusion. He flips them over and kisses Zayn again. “You drive me crazy”, he murmurs.

“Love you so much”, Zayn says in response and wraps his legs around Niall's hips. The new angle makes Niall's dick catch at Zayn's rim and both of them gasp into each other's mouths. “Please, Niall.”

Niall is too far gone to keep teasing, so he pulls back enough to lube up, lifting Zayn's hips off the bed with gentle pressure against his lower back. Zayn grips his shoulders when Niall pushes in slowly, keeping their eyes locked.

He smiles when Niall bottoms out, sliding one hand down Niall's chest to flick one of his nipples. “Move.“

-

“I like the hair.” Niall says it quietly afterwards, when they're under the sheets, Zayn's head resting on his chest.

Zayn chuckles. “Even if you don’t have anything to pull on?”

Niall lifts a hand and slides it along the top of Zayn's head. “I like how it tickles. Plus, I've always said you could pull off every hairstyle, including baldness, and this is the closest you've gotten. So basically, you've proven me right.”

Zayn is quiet for a while, but his hand keeps stroking up and down Niall's side. Niall watches him, takes in the shadows his eyelashes cast on his face in the little light they'd made, the soft tilt to his mouth, the way he already looks so much more relaxed.

With a happy little sigh, Zayn suddenly turns his head and presses a kiss to Niall's right pec. “I'm glad you came tonight.”

Niall can't help but snort a little at the innuendo, even worse with how sticky their skin is where they're pressed together, but his hold on Zayn tightens. “Had to tell you how proud I am, didn't I? Make sure you haven't forgotten me after meeting all of those famous people.”

Zayn laughs a little, turns around so his chin is resting on Niall’s collarbone and he can press a kiss to his chin. “I’d never forget you. Met SRK today, but look who’s in my bed anyway.”

“I feel like that’s a big compliment”, Niall grins, sliding down the bed so they’re face to face.

“The biggest”, Zayn nods and kisses him.

Immediately, Niall’s hand goes to Zayn’s head again, stroking the short hair there, fingernails scratching lightly. Zayn breaks away, laughing breathlessly, and presses a series of short pecks to Niall’s mouth. “You really like the hair, don’t you?”

Niall grins, brushes his thumb across a little swirl over Zayn’s forehead. “Have I ever not loved a haircut you’ve had? The long hair was good for pulling, this one is great for stroking. The topknot was a good mixture of both. I like the surprise effect of this one, great choice for your first official public appearance. Also good for nearly giving me a heart attack right before I left for Eoghan’s birthday.”

“Sorry about that”, Zayn laughs and Niall thinks back to the selfie he’d gotten from the car to the Asian Awards, Zayn and his mum all dressed up – and Zayn’s new hair. “I wish you could’ve come with me tonight.”

“I’d have looked ridiculous”, Niall says, shaking his head. “Pale as fuck. I bet Trisha loved it, she’s so happy whenever you take her to things.”

“I’ll take you both next time”, Zayn shrugs and jostles them both with it, making Niall realise they’ve somehow gravitated towards each other even more again, ended up all tangled up.

He smiles, kisses Zayn softly. “Okay.”


	17. lucky we're in love in every way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kid!fic  
> or more like, drabble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got a prompt saying "Can you do a ziall Drabble based on "Come here baby, let me see"" and this is probably not at all what they expected but im in bed and sick so i needed pure fluff, and also there’s just not enough ziall kidfic out there  
> Alannah is an irish name and means something like “darling child” :)

There's a wailing sound from upstairs, loud and sudden, and Niall and Zayn jump, exchanging an alarmed look.

It takes them a few seconds to disentangle their limbs from where they were cuddling on the sofa but then they're up the stairs quickly, Zayn a step ahead of Niall.

Zayn stops in the doorframe, taking in the situation, and Niall looks over his shoulder to do the same. Their three years old daughter is sat on the floor in the middle of her room, crying loudly, but unharmed as far as Niall can tell. When she notices her dads, she reaches out towards them with her short arms and cries a little louder, which Niall takes as a sign that she's not as terribly hurt as the noise she's making suggests.

He clicks his tongue quietly. “What's wrong, darling?”

“Ouchie”, she just says, holding out her right hand for them.

Zayn crouches down to her level and spreads his arms. “Come here baby, let me see”, he tells her. “Show papa the boo-boo.”

Alannah crosses the room with her hand stretched out in front of her, tumbling into Zayn's arms. “Hurts”, she pouts, nearly shoving her chubby hand in Zayn's face.

There's nothing there, Niall can't even make out a scratch, but Zayn indulges the little girl, blowing on her hand and singing her a little song while pressing butterfly kisses all along her hand and arm. Niall watches them with a smile, beyond endeared. After three years he still can't quite believe this is his life, these two people are his family. He's loved Zayn for many years, but it seems as if his emotions have only been amplified since Alannah has come into their lives.

When she's stopped crying, Zayn scoops Alannah up in his arms and gets up, turning to face Niall. “How about you let daddy kiss your boo-boo better too, Ally? Will you be alright then?”

Alannah holds out her hand to Niall without a word and he grabs it gently, pressing a kiss to her palm. Before she can pull away he blows a raspberry, listening to her delighted squeal. He leans back a little and looks at her face before doing it again. Ally squeals once more and pushes at Niall's face, who laughs and pulls away. “All good now?”

“Yes”, she says, nodding importantly. “Can we make pancakes?”

“For dinner?” Niall asks incredulously.

“We'll make pancakes for breakfast, alright?” Zayn agrees with him, readjusting their daughter on his hip. “They only taste good in the morning anyway.”

“Really?” Ally's eyes are wide and round and Niall chuckles, exchanges another glance with Zayn.

“Really”, he says, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. He kisses Zayn's cheek too, for good measure and because he's feeling lucky and full of love, and Zayn smiles, turns his head a little with an expectant raise of his eyebrow.

Niall laughs and obliges happily, leaning in to give his husband a proper kiss. Maybe they get off track a little bit but then Alannah is shoving her little hands against both their cheeks, making an impatient sound.

“Hungry!” she announces and Niall and Zayn pull apart, laughing.

“How would you feel about a nice cheese sandwich, Ally?” Niall asks.

“Can papa cut off the crust?”

“Of course I can”, Zayn promises. “We know how you like your sandwiches, baby.”

Niall watches as Alannah claps her hands excitedly and how Zayn's eyes shine when he turns to smile at Niall, and feels blessed.


	18. i never get used to silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niall sees HQ pictures of Zayn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> got this prompt on tumblr: "i dont know if you take requests or anything but i need someone to write a drabble of niall seeing the recent hq zayn pics" so i banged this out in less than an hour :D  
> title is from _can't stop_ by onerepublic which doesn't really fit all that well but i was listening to it just as i finished so i couldn't come up with anything else haha  
>  i purposely ignored the fact that zayn has apparently dyed his hair again...because i kind of hope it's only very temporarily aahh

„It’s green now?“ Niall asks incredulously when Willie shows him his phone, a picture of Zayn and Perrie on the screen – and Zayn’s hair is green.

The thing is – Niall might’ve thought it was a lot when Zayn shaved his hair off, and definitely when he dyed it _green_ , but it doesn’t stop there. He goes white next, and apparently a few more colours, and then he shows up in Paris for the Fashion Week in blonde and fucks the whole world up by looking better than all the models – maybe Niall especially.

The next time Zayn nearly causes Niall to have a heart attack is when he posts a selfie and he’s suddenly got a nose piercing.

Niall would be lying if he said he isn’t a bit relieved when Zayn goes back to his natural hair colour.

He does actually choke when there’s a few pictures of Zayn leaving a nightclub in LA in a car – without a shirt on.

There’s a constant increase in pap pics around the time Zayn signs his solo contract, and it’s very bad for Niall’s health. He’s always thought of Zayn as the most beautiful person in the whole universe, but seeing him like this, from afar and just through unfairly good candids, while his hair grows back and his eyes literally sparkle somehow takes it to another level.

Zayn keeps going out, tweets another selfie that Niall almost favourites, walks around nightclubs in adorable, cosy looking jumpers, goes to Kylie Jenner’s birthday party – which, okay, but he looks gorgeous doing so – and then he shows up at this film premiere.

Niall is in LA too, but he hasn’t been invited to the _Straight Outta Compton_ premiere, while Zayn apparently has. He’s honestly just minding his own business, keeping to himself, when the pictures start coming in. They’re high quality from the get go and Niall can’t do anything but roll with it, look at picture after picture while his heart beats strangely fast.

Zayn looks so unbelievably handsome in his dark shirt with his perfectly groomed beard and hair, tattoos partly on display, and that damned nose ring that makes Niall feel a little bit weak in the knees. His eyelashes are insanely long and Niall thinks about how they felt brushing against his skin when Zayn was in one of his cuddly moods, and his heart aches. He pouts too much as usually and Niall wants nothing more than to kiss his damn lips.

He pretty much always wanted to, but now there’s not really anyone standing between them, right? Maybe it’s because he feels lightheaded after having actual trouble breathing when he looked at Zayn’s profile for too long, but he picks up his phone and sends a single text.

_lookin good malik :D_

It’s much later, when Niall has been staring at pictures of Zayn in another jumper (red this time) at the after party for too long, that his phone vibrates. This time, Niall’s breath catches and his heart jumps to somewhere in his throat.

It’s Zayn.


	19. just can't get too much of you baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after i'd freaked out about niall at the AMAs for a while, my friend zane sent me this ask: "liste n…… i want zayn to see the pics of amas niall and text him [emojis] and then niall fucks him while wearing the suit y/y??" (head on over to [tumblr](http://kissingziall.tumblr.com/post/133869862620/liste-n-i-want-zayn-to-see-the-pics-of-amas) if you want to see the emojis, they won't show here)  
> well, i couldn’t help myself. i started this before the gigi hadid/zayn thing got out which means i should’ve written a different beginning but this is all just fiction anyway. haven’t posted anything in a while, so have some smut!

Niall gets the text when he’s still inside  _The Nice Guy_ , pint in hand and trying to keep at least remotely cool despite the suit and tie he’s still wearing after having switched back into his arrival outfit after the ceremony. The glasses keep slipping down his nose, especially in here where the temperature feels near boiling but Niall hasn’t forgotten the praise they’ve gotten last time and the compliments random people – celebrities, people Niall from his telly mostly, even – have paid him tonight already. He’s not gonna take them off.

He thumbs at his phone screen when it lights up and then smiles down at it when he sees the name at the top of his notifications. _Zayn_. He still hasn’t quite gotten used to seeing it there regularly again, definitely can’t get used to the swoop in his stomach that usually accompanies a text. When he actually takes in the meaning of the row of emojis, two heart eyes, one sticking its tongue out and winking and the drops of water, he smirks, feels the heat crawling up from under his collar to the back of his neck.

 _U seen pictures ?_ he thumbs out in reply, hits send.

 _Ur so fckin hot_ , Zayn replies and Niall’s flush wanders up to his face. _Wanna see u in that suit._

A few seconds later: _and out of it_

Niall chokes a little and takes a gulp of his beer, looks around to check if anyone can see his phone before he texts back _I’m in public !!!_

Zayn doesn’t make a joke like Niall expects him to. _I’m in your hotel room._ _Come back_

Well. It’s late, Niall supposes, he’s hot and sweaty and he’s been on his legs all night, many people have already left. It’s perfectly acceptable for him to go as well.

He heads to the toilet first to make sure he looks sort of put together, not too flushed and not half hard in his suit pants just from a couple of texts. _Leaving now_ , he texts Zayn, _wait for me_.

He’s in the car already the next time he checks his phone, which is a good thing because he thinks he might have a stroke when he sees the picture Zayn has sent – of his hand down the front of his boxers.

Niall groans and thumps his head against the headrest a couple of times, ignores the glances he gets from the other people in the car and concentrates on his breathing. He’s out of the car as quickly as possible when they arrive in the parking garage of the hotel and can’t stop fidgeting on the way up in the elevator, more than usually.

When he unlocks the door to his room, Zayn’s already sat on the sofa, wearing nothing but a white t-shirt and the boxers Niall’s already seen. He groans quietly and Zayn smirks at him, pushing himself up and taking a few deliberately slow steps towards Niall, who hurriedly locks the door behind himself.

“Hi”, Zayn says. “Missed you.”

“Missed you, too.”

Niall reaches out for him but Zayn stops before he's close enough to touch, looking Niall up and down.

“You look even better in person”, he says, scratching idly at his jaw. “The glasses are sick.”

“Yeah?” Niall asks quietly. “You like em?”

“I like _you_ ”, Zayn says offhandedly and Niall smiles a little. “Congrats on the AMAs, babe.”

“Thank you”, Niall mumbles, tugging on his tie a little uncomfortably. “Kind of yours as well, aren't they?”

Zayn shrugs. “Not anymore. Glad I get you, though. You look...like some sort of hot teacher. Very fancy, _very_ hot teacher.”

Niall laughs quietly, breathlessly and hopes Zayn doesn't notice how overwhelmed he feels. The way Zayn looks at him still makes Niall feel out of depth sometimes. The fact that Zayn sends him naughty pictures even more so. “You gonna do anything about it, then?”

Zayn hums and finally comes closer, drags his palm up Niall’s throat, making him swallow thickly, and across his jaw, the prickly stubble there.

When he leans in to kiss him, there's nothing careful about it, and Niall lets him suck on his tongue for a moment before he pulls away, breathless already. “Impatient, huh?”

Zayn just moves on to his neck, licking and biting and making Niall feel shivery and hot all over. “Been waiting for you.”

He pulls back and grabs Niall's hand, reaches for his waist and almost pushes him forward until he drops down onto the sofa.

“Uh?” Niall makes but before he can form any sort of coherent sentence, Zayn climbs into his lap, straddling him and each of Niall's thoughts pretty much flies out of the window. Zayn's hands are in his hair then, tilting his head upwards so they can kiss and Niall lets him take control happily. He feels a funny mixture of drunk, sleepy and turned on and he closes his eyes, kisses Zayn back.

Zayn bites his lower lip, tugs on it playfully and ducks down to suck a mark into the underside of Niall's jaw. Niall slides his hands up Zayn's thighs, bunches the fabric of his boxers and presses his fingers into the skin underneath his waistband.

Zayn groans and rocks forward, hard already, and it makes Niall gasp. When he opens his eyes, his glasses have fogged up and he moves to take them off, but Zayn stops him. “No, they look hot.”

Niall complies and tugs on Zayn's collar to get him closer, licks along his cupid’s bow and slides a hand up Zayn's back underneath his shirt. He feels hot all over and reaches back for his tie, loosening it so he can breathe a little more freely but not taking it off. Zayn pops open the top button of Niall's shirt and bites at his neck right where the shirt ends, and Niall's moan echoes around the room. He can feel Zayn's grin against his neck as he starts pressing kisses to every inch of skin he can get to, grinding his hips slowly and driving Niall absolutely mad with it.

Helplessly, he digs his fingers into Zayn's hips, slides his palms across Zayn's flat stomach and chest, pushing his shirt up before he lets go, tucking one hand under the back of Zayn's boxers and gripping his butt.

Zayn licks a stripe up to his ear then, sucks on his earlobe for a moment and then whispers hoarsely, “Want you to fuck me, in your suit. Right here.”

Niall groans again, loudly. “Right here?”

“I'm gonna ride you on this sofa, been thinking about it all night.”

Hopelessly turned on, Niall kisses him again and slides his hand further down Zayn's arse, finger pressing against his rim. It feels slick and one finger slides in easily to the first knuckle. Niall gasps and pulls away from Zayn's mouth. “Have you prepared?”

“Told you I've been thinking about you all night”, Zayn replies and rocks against him once more, making Niall sure he could come right then and there. The thought of Zayn fingering himself is hotter than anything should be allowed to be. “All ready for you.”

Niall presses his finger deeper, adds another one and watches Zayn's jaw go slack. He uses his second hand to push Zayn's boxers down so they rest just underneath his butt cheeks. When he spots the bottle of lube half-heartedly hidden behind a cushion he reaches for it and pulls his fingers out of Zayn, who whimpers a little and starts thrusting to get some pressure by rubbing his cock against Niall's stomach.

“Shh”, Niall makes, enjoying how he's suddenly in control, and coats his fingers before pushing three of them into Zayn at once. Zayn keens high in his throat and starts fucking himself on Niall's fingers in earnest, thighs straining against the material of his boxers and hand gripping Niall's shoulder.

“You've done well”, Niall murmurs and kisses the corner of Zayn's mouth. “Think you can take me yet?”

Zayn nods eagerly. “Yeah, yeah please”, he breathes and fumbles for Niall's fly, yanking it down. He gets up when Niall retrieves his fingers, losing his pants and Niall takes the chance to push his trousers and pants down just enough to get his dick out. It slaps against his belly flushed and hard already, and Zayn is back in his lap, reaching for it, quicker than Niall can react.

It doesn’t take much for Niall to be fully hard, Zayn in his lap wearing nothing but a t-shirt, mouthing at his neck and wanking him slowly does the trick embarrassingly quick. Zayn is panting too, lips wet against Niall’s neck and he groans quietly, fingers carding through Zayn’s hair. His back arches when Zayn thumbs across his tip, precome bubbling at the slit and Niall pulls Zayn’s hair, biting his lip to keep in the noises except for a low grunt that punches its way out.

When Zayn reaches for a condom, Niall leans back and closes his eyes, takes deep breaths while Zayn rolls it on and lubes him up. He keeps his grip tight and lifts his hips up, shuffles forward on his knees until the tip of Niall’s dick catches at his rim and they gasp in unison.

“Yeah?” Niall asks, thumbing across Zayn’s cheek softly.

“Yeah”, Zayn nods and kisses him, mouth going slack when he lowers himself slowly onto Niall’s cock.

He bottoms out and Niall mutters “fuck”, holds Zayn gently as he just sits on his lap for a few moments, adjusting. His eyes are dark, eyelashes fluttering and Niall kisses him carefully, a lot more chaste than their position suggests.

But then Zayn moves, lifts his hips just a little and drops down again and suddenly Niall feels frantic, tries to touch Zayn everywhere forgets to breathe while kissing him and then just pants into his mouth when Zayn starts swivelling his hips, bouncing up and down in moves that get bigger and bigger.

Niall can’t see anything through his glasses anymore and Zayn finally takes them off his face, drops them somewhere on the floor next to the sofa. Niall doesn’t care.

When Zayn slows down again, thighs shaking, Niall takes over, plants his feet against the ground and thrusts up, hard.

“Oh my god”, Zayn groans, and Niall thinks he’s quite the sight, sweaty hair, t-shirt clinging to his toned upper body, head dropped back and moaning, mouth hanging open as he bounces up and down in Niall’s lap. The contrast to Niall, still fully dressed in his suit is incredibly hot, better even when his fingers bunch up the fabric of the white shirt.

“Jesus, you’re so beautiful”, Niall pants and Zayn grins, shifts forward until he can drop his forehead against Niall’s shoulder.

The new angle seems to do it for him, he’s just holding on to Niall with a tight grip, little gasps and whimpers leaving his mouth and Niall reaches down, touches the place where he’s sliding in and out of Zayn. It’s hot, everything’s so hot and his thighs are aching from the force of his thrusts.

Without pulling out, Niall flips them over so Zayn’s on his back, looking up at him with hooded eyes. “Yeah”, he mumbles, “Yeah, come on Niall, fuck me.” Moaning quietly, Niall flings his tie back over his shoulder so it doesn’t get in the way, ducks down, sucks a kiss to Zayn’s throat and then his mouth, slides a hand down his side to push at his lower back and starts thrusting again. Zayn’s legs wrap around Niall and pull him closer, one of his hands bracing himself against the arm of the sofa so his head doesn’t hit it with each of Niall’s thrusts. His other hand tightens on Niall’s suit jacket, pulls him down for a snog and a murmured “this suit, I swear”.

Niall feels out of it, all of his senses narrowing in on Zayn, wanting nothing but to make Zayn feel good. And come, maybe. He reaches between them, stroking Zayn’s cock, circling the head and Zayn lets out a string of curse words, heels digging into Niall’s arse to get him even closer.

“Jesus, _fuck_ ”, Niall curses as he picks up speed, feels the heat curl in his stomach. “You close, babe?”

Zayn’s fingernails dig into the back of his neck, grip tightening on Niall’s tie that’s wrapped around his hand and he cranes his own neck to kiss Niall sloppily. “Yeah”, he pants, bites Niall’s lip when he squeezes where his hand is still on Zayn’s cock, “yeah, I’m -”

He comes with a drawn-out groan, back arching as his come splatters over Niall’s hand his own stomach. He tightens around Niall and Niall can’t breathe, figuratively and literally because Zayn’s still holding onto his tie so tightly, pushes in hard once more.

Niall comes so hard he whites out.

Zayn’s pressing kisses to the side of his head, his ear, his jaw, when he comes back to, lying half on top of his boyfriend. “Niall, babe, can you hear me?” Zayn’s asking and Niall thinks this isn’t the first time he’s asked.

“Fine”, he croaks, breathes in deeply and Zayn runs his fingers through his hair.

“Did I choke you? God, I’m sorry, I didn’t do it on purpose -”

“‘t was hot”, Niall interrupts, running his hand up Zayn’s side. “Really fucking hot.”

Zayn grins. “Yeah? I’ll still try and warn you next time.”

“Okay, yeah”, Niall laughs and kisses him languidly before he pushes himself up, sliding his suit pants down his legs and stepping out of them. “Reckon it’s already too late for this suit anyway, but it’s getting a bit uncomfortable now. Join me in the shower?”

“Mhm”, Zayn hums, reaches for Niall again and smoothes his hands down his wrinkled shirt. “What’re you gonna tell them about the suit?”

“Nothing and hope no one talks about it?” Niall suggests and pulls Zayn to his feet, lifting one hand to scratch at his scalp.

Zayn laughs. “I’d love to see the cleaner’s face.”

“You’re the one who made me keep it on”, Niall pouts playfully and Zayn grins again, tugs on his tie and then pushes his jacket down his shoulders.

“I did, and I don’t regret a thing. But now I’d love to keep my word and see you out of it, too.”

It’s all the incentive Niall needs.

 


	20. lost to found (come away, come away now)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> niall doesn't care much for opera. neither does zayn, apparently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a while since i've posted anything i've written, mostly because i've been busy writing my big bang fic (which isn't gonna be posted until april) but now that i'm done with it, i hope i can share a few more things :) this is, strangely enough, inspired by a kfc ad on german tv that i've seen a couple of times. [check it out, if you want.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_nMw4VhE9U)  
> title is from _trap door_ by one republic, simply because it came on shuffle at the right time. let the soppy fluff begin.

Niall didn’t know anyone. Well, he knew Harry, obviously, and he’d met Grimmy before, but both of them were busy laughing with their friends who Niall had never seen before, about things he didn’t understand.

The break had just started and Niall was trailing behind them towards the bar, cursing himself for falling victim to Harry’s puppy eyes. He had no interest in opera whatsoever and had nothing in common with Harry and Grimmy’s weird set of friends, but somehow Harry had managed to convince him to take the leftover ticket and accompany him.

So far, they’d only gotten through the first act of “La Traviata” and Niall was already annoyed by all the drama and heartbreak that he couldn’t quite follow. Why did they have to complain so loudly? Opera very obviously wasn’t his thing, and operatic singing gave him a headache.

Earlier, Niall had sighed loud enough to make Harry – who’d seemed enthralled by what was happening on stage – shush him, but he’d met the eyes of a guy who sat a few seats down the row, and he’d grinned. Niall dimly recalled being introduced to him by Gigi; chipper, pretty and blond, apparently one of the many models Grimmy worked with or _somehow_ knew; but he’d been too stunned to properly listen after he’d caught the name. _Zayn_. He had to be one of the most beautiful men Niall had ever seen, and he’d tried stealing glances at him all night. He didn’t seem to be talking to anyone but Gigi, so Niall assumed he had the same misfortune he’d had: being roped along by someone much more enthusiastic in this friend group.

Usually, Niall would’ve used this to start up a conversation, maybe some flirting to make the night more enjoyable, but the familiar way with which Zayn and Gigi were talking and touching each other put a damper on that as well. Niall really didn’t want to be known as the homewrecker the first time he met Harry’s friends – no matter how odd they were. Who voluntarily went to a three hour long showing of an opera?

Niall was a very sociable person, but in this group, he was very obviously the odd one out. All of them were stunning and would’ve stood out even if it wasn’t for their outfit choices that were a little bit out of the ordinary. He was used to Harry’s love for floral patterns and had managed to keep his face in check when Harry had shown up in a white suit with greyish flowers all over them, but combined with the fashion choices his friends had made, it was a bit much. Niall’s simple black tux didn’t fit in, and most definitely not combined with a tie. Apparently he hadn’t gotten the memo that ties weren’t cool anymore. The only other person who’d gone for black was Zayn, and even he was wearing some sort of ribbon around his collar instead of a tie or a bowtie like the one Grimmy was sporting.

None of them seemed inclined to talk to him after the obligatory small talk had been made before they’d gone in to find their seats, making quite a few heads turn. Niall couldn’t blame the other guests, dressed much more like he was.

When he looked over the menu at the bar to see that the only food offered were appetisers with odd names, Niall made his decision. He’d seen a KFC on his way here, and if he ran he’d maybe even make it back in time for the second act. If not, at least for the third.

Quietly, Niall snuck away without anyone noticing, hurrying out the glass doors into the night, warm enough for him not to be cold with just his suit jacket. He reached the promised fast food restaurant quickly, only slightly out of breath, and loosened his tie as he pushed through the doors. There were three queues and he picked the right one, hoping it’d turn out to be the quickest one but knowing it wouldn’t. He was lucky like that.

His stomach growled at the smell of chicken all around him and Niall shifted from one foot to the other impatiently. The middle queue seemed to move quicker – obviously – and Niall threw them a disdainful look as they shuffled forward, creating a gap that gave Niall a good view on the left queue – and another overdressed person.

Zayn seemed unaware of his presence, but he suddenly turned his head to find Niall staring at him. A surprised grin spread across his face and Niall could feel his responding one, but before either of them could react any further, the gap closed and Zayn was hidden from Niall again. He shook his head in wonder. What were the odds?

While Niall waited for his order, he took a look at his watch. He’d never make it back in time for the second act if he actually wanted to eat any of his chicken wings, so Niall figured it’d probably be best to find a table and pass the time until he could re-join Harry and his friends during the break before the third act. Would it be too forward to ask Zayn to join him? They hadn’t actually talked, and their only bonding had happened when Niall had shown his annoyance. Apparently Zayn felt the same way, or he wouldn’t be here.

Niall took the tray with his order, flashing a grin at the girl handing it to him – he could see her eyeing his attire with obvious approval – and glanced around in search for an empty table. Instead, he found Zayn sat at one, lifting his hand in Niall’s direction. He gave a lopsided smile and indicated for Niall to come closer, looking a bit unsure.

“Care to join me?” he asked once Niall was within hearing distance. “Er, I mean…the second act has already started anyway.”

Niall grinned and pulled the chair out. “Cheers, mate.”

Zayn grinned too and looked down at his wings before turning his eyes on Niall again. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

“No?” Niall asked. “Thought I made my boredom pretty obvious.”

Zayn laughed. “Well, true,” he said. “Still, I thought I was the only one mad enough to sneak away.”

“Mate,” Niall grinned. “Honest, the two of us are the least mad people in that group.”

Zayn laughed out loud this time. “Right? Fucking bonkers, all of them.” He seemed a little shifty for a moment, not quite looking at Niall. “Niall, right? You’re Harry’s date.”

“Yeah,” Niall said, carefully adding, “He’s my best friend, he forced me into this with his puppy eyes.”

“Happens to the best of us,” Zayn chuckled, focusing on his food instead of Niall. “Me too, by the way. Gigi’s a menace like that, I don’t even know why I’m still friends with her.”

Niall really hoped Zayn didn’t notice how he faltered at that. _Friends_?

They ate in silence for a little while until Zayn asked him if he’d understood at all what the opera was about, and soon they were laughing so hard people started to look at them, making up theories about what had been going on and how it would continue.

They calmed down eventually to move on to less hilarious topics, while Niall tried not to think that this felt like the part of a date where you tried to cover all the basics of what to know about each other.

They’d both finished eating and eventually Zayn lifted his empty soda cup, looking pointedly at Niall’s. “Refill?”

“Yes, please,” Niall smiled and watched as Zayn headed towards the soda machine. He really was exceptionally beautiful, and funny and nice and a little bit dorky, and maybe it made Niall’s heart beat somewhere in his throat.

Scared that Zayn would catch him looking again, Niall fished for his phone in his suit pocket, finding a text from Harry at the top of his inbox.

_Is it a coincidence you and the “most beautiful man you’ve ever seen” both mysteriously vanished before the second act not to be seen again? I’m hurt you’d just dump me like this. Be safe. X_

Niall blushed hotly, regretting whatever notion had made him share his thoughts on Zayn with Harry earlier that night. Admittedly, he hadn’t expected to get a minute alone with him, yet alone a whole – Niall gasped when his eyes fell on the time, not having realised that more than an hour had passed.

“We’ve missed our cue,” he told Zayn with wide eyes when he returned with their refills.

“Our cue? For what?”

“The third act,” Niall explained, feeling the hilarity rising again. “It’s already started!”

“Oh, fuck,” Zayn said, but the shock on his face was wiped away by his laughter within a second, and Niall joined in quickly.

“What now?” he asked once they’d caught their breath again. “We can’t sneak in anymore now.”

“Definitely not,” Zayn agreed. “Did you leave a coat or something at the opera?”

Niall shook his head. “No, my suit jacket was warm enough. Why?”

“I didn’t either,” Zayn said. “Which means we don’t have to go back at all. Fancy some dessert?”

Niall smiled, his heart right back into his throat from where it had settled in his chest again. “Sure. You say that as if you’ve already got a plan.”

“As a matter of fact, I do,” Zayn grinned. “Do you trust me?”

_This is crazy_ , Niall thought, _you don’t even know him_. But he nodded. “Yeah.”

Zayn’s smile was pleased and he reached for Niall’s arm across the table, giving it a light squeeze. “Follow me, then.”

While Niall did, following Zayn through the dark city streets, they kept up their easy chatter but Niall kept wondering if this was something to get his hopes up about. Zayn was lovely with him and he smiled at him in a way that made Niall’s heart pound, but was he flirting? He hadn’t touched Niall except for the little squeeze of his arm earlier, but then again he’d definitely made clear he wasn’t with Gigi and he’d signalled that he wanted to spend more time with Niall.

And it did feel like a date, at least to Niall.

Zayn led him to a coffee shop, it turned out. It was a small place, one Niall must’ve passed before but never bothered to enter as it didn’t look like much from the outside. Inside, however, it was marvellous. The room was tiny, narrow but remotely long, with a bar counter in the front near the door and small tables with mismatched chairs and sofas spread across the room to the back wall, where another set of windows would let in light during the day.

A narrow spiral staircase led up to a gallery, half as big as the main room, where more tables were placed. It was the cosiest coffee shop Niall had ever seen. “Sick,” he gasped and Zayn turned around, grinning.

“This is my favourite café,” he said. “They’ve got great coffee, tea, and the best cupcakes you’ll find.”

Niall looked around, impressed. “I’d be willing to have mediocre cupcakes in this setting.”

Zayn laughed, and suddenly wrapped his fingers around Niall’s wrist, pulling him towards the counter where a pretty girl was already smiling at them. Niall wasn’t sure what he ended up ordering, Zayn’s touch having short circuited his brain a little bit. It was embarrassing.

Zayn found them a table for two in a corner, and Niall followed after him, wishing Zayn would touch him again even though he knew he needed both hands to carry their food and drinks. They’d gotten an array of cupcakes to share, and they looked so delicious Niall could feel his mouth watering.

They got a few looks from other customers, probably because of their suits, but it wasn’t enough to make Niall feel uncomfortable. Their table was mostly hidden from view anyway, which was great for several reasons and sent Niall’s mind reeling.

When he sat down, he realised how tiny their table was, small enough to feel Zayn’s leg close to his. Boldly, Niall shifted until his knee knocked against Zayn’s, and left it there. Zayn didn’t move either, and Niall was pretty sure he saw one corner of his mouth lift in a small smile.

“Which one do you want to try first?” Zayn asked, pushing the plate towards Niall who hesitated before reaching for one decorated with light brown icing and a Reese’s peanut butter cup. He ate half of it before offering the rest to Zayn, who in turn handed him a red velvet one. Niall found that Zayn hadn’t exaggerated in his praise for the cupcakes and munched on them happily, listening to Zayn telling him about how he brought his sister’s here for the first time and they’d insisted on staying until they’d tried every last one.

“It was alright, among the four of us,” he chuckled, “we pretty much only took a bite of each, but we still couldn’t eat dinner that night. I’ve never had that much sugar in a single sitting.”

Niall laughed. “Did any of you get sugar rush?”

“I think we all did, a little. I’ve certainly never gone shopping again with them after having had any sugar. You wouldn’t believe how much I spent on them.”

Even while he laughed at Zayn, Niall felt secretly endeared by how Zayn talked about his sisters. It was clear how much he cared about them, and Niall was sure he’d have taken them shopping even without the sugar rush. From his stories, Niall could tell that Zayn earned more as a lawyer than his parents had growing up.

“So you said you worked as a researcher, right?” Zayn asked after a while, brushing some crumbs from his long fingers. “Space technology?”

“Yeah, I’m a scientist,” Niall nodded, clenching his fists to supress the urge to reach out and wipe away the crumbs left in the corner of Zayn’s mouth.

“How do you know Harry, then? They’re all more those artsy types, aren’t they?”

“Harry was my roommate during university,” Niall explained distractedly, both relieved and inappropriately turned on when Zayn’s tongue peeked out to get rid of the cupcake crumbs. “I’ve met Grimmy through him a couple of times, but most of the others I saw for the first time today. What about you? How do you fit in?”

Zayn hummed, a fleeting grin stretching his lips. “I don’t, really. Gigi and I have known each other forever, since we’re both mixed heritage kids, you know? We kind of stuck together throughout school, she’s my best friend. I’ve met most of her friends before but I’m not close with any of them, they’re just too different from me, I guess? I was glad to see I wasn’t the only one sticking out like a sore thumb.”

Niall laughed quietly. “Me, too. I thought I’d found a kindred spirit when you laughed at my embarrassingly loud sigh.”

“What can I say, you voiced my thoughts,” Zayn shrugged with a grin that turned into a soft smile. “I’m glad we both decided to bail tonight.”

Niall smiled back, heart in his throat once again. “Me, too. Really glad.”

Zayn smiled down at his hands, oddly shy, and Niall realised how long his eyelashes were. It was really quite unfair.

They shared the last cupcake and when Zayn pushed the plate away, Niall saw he still had a little bit of icing in the corner of his mouth, the same spot where he’d earlier had the crumbs. Before he could lose the courage, Niall reached out with one hand. “Here, you’ve got a little…”

He used his thumb to wipe away the light pink icing, trying not to linger too long even though he craved to let his fingers trace the shape of Zayn’s lips, his whole face. Zayn sat perfectly still, watching with wide eyes as Niall retracted his hand and sucked the icing off his thumb.

He could see Zayn’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed and felt himself blush. What had he done? Quickly, he dropped his hand into his lap, watching Zayn as he blinked a couple of times and cleared his throat.

Then, slowly, he reached for Niall’s hand. It was Niall’s turn to swallow thickly but he managed to twist his hand so their palms slid together, their fingers linking. “This okay?” Zayn whispered.

Niall nodded, probably a bit too eager. He felt like a teenager. “More than.”

They sat and talked for a while longer, still holding hands and exchanging smiles that made it very obvious this was in fact a date. Niall was more than pleased with how the night was turning out.

“How far is it to your flat? I’d like to drive you home, but we’d have to walk since I left my car at home tonight,” Zayn said when the girl behind the counter started making more noise than necessary cleaning up to signal it was time to leave to the last remaining people in the café.

Niall smiled and ducked his head. There were times someone had offered to walk him home where he’d felt like they treated him like a girl, enforcing certain gender roles even when they were both male, but with Zayn it felt nice, like it was something he wanted to do because he cared. “It’s a little far to walk all the way,” he smiled. “But if you still want, we could take the tube and walk from there.”

Zayn’s thumb brushed his knuckles and his smile was bright. “Absolutely. Lead the way?”

There were no words to describe how Niall felt walking through the night holding Zayn’s hand and listening to his calm voice. Conversation flowed so easily with him and everything just felt _right_ , he couldn’t believe they’d only met tonight.

It took them half an hour to get to Niall’s building, and never once did things get awkward. It was the best date Niall had ever had, and he told Zayn as much, making him laugh.

“And thinking neither of us even planned on a date for tonight,” he grinned. “It was my best one too, though.”

“So…,” Niall edged, pulling Zayn a little closer by the hand he was still holding. “Would you like to do this again sometime?”

Zayn’s eyes crinkled when he smiled. “I’d love to. Ring me? Or text me? I don’t really care, just…keep in touch?”

They’d exchanged numbers on the tube, and Niall patted his pocket where he kept his phone. “Don’t think anyone could keep me from doing it.”

“Good,” Zayn smiled, and then they were quiet for a minute, looking at each other with their fingers intertwined.

“Oh…,” Niall muttered, making a decision. Zayn stumbled closer when he tugged on his hand, closing the last bit of space between them. “Just come here. I’m gonna kiss you now, alright?”

Zayn didn’t bother replying, just lifted his free hand to fit it against the back of Niall’s neck, crushing their lips together. Niall melted into it, curling his hand around Zayn’s hip and keeping him close as they kissed.

When they pulled apart, Zayn’s eyes were blown and his mouth wet and red, making it impossible for Niall to tear his eyes away. He leaned in again, licking across Zayn’s lips once and coaxing a giggle from him before swallowing every noise he could’ve made with another kiss. Zayn responded eagerly, wrapping both arms around Niall’s neck now and pressing close as Niall fisted a portion of his dress shirt at the small of his back.

It was Zayn who pulled away eventually, with a few more pecks to Niall’s lips and cheeks, bringing a little space between them. Niall shivered, the night air much cooler without Zayn’s body heat right there.

“Goodnight, Niall,” Zayn said quietly. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah, definitely,” Niall agreed, refusing to let go just yet and chasing Zayn’s mouth for one last kiss before stepping back reluctantly. “Goodnight. Be safe, yeah? Text me when you’re home.”

Zayn smiled. “I will.”

He turned around and slowly started walking away back towards the tube stop, and Niall thought of chicken wings and sweet cupcakes and laughter and soft hands and softer kisses, and his cold bed upstairs.

“Zayn,” he called, and the other man stopped, turning around with a smile that looked a little bit hopeful. “Wanna come upstairs?”


	21. singled out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zayn and niall meet at a series of weddings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't really know what this is! i think i might've gotten the idea from one of those tumblr posts listing possible AUs a while ago, and then this happened last night - so here we go :)

Zayn's at a table full of couples. It makes sense, he supposes, because there seem to be no single people at all at this wedding. Liam's sisters have been married for years, his new wife's friends and family are all coupled up, and Harry and Louis are there with their respective girlfriends as well. They're at this table, all four of them, and a few more of Liam's friends that Zayn doesn't know.

He sits next to Louis, who keeps whispering to his girlfriend - or fiancée, Zayn corrects himself - instead of talking to Zayn. It's the wedding atmosphere, Zayn concludes, that makes everyone even more loved up.

When Zayn counts the people around the table, he counts nine plus himself, and frowns. Someone else on this table is here by themselves.

It takes him only a few seconds to make the person out, because all the couples are easily distinguished by the way they're sitting closer than necessary before the buffet has even been opened. It's Liam's friend Niall, who Zayn has never met before, even though he seems to be best friends with three of his own best friends - Liam, Harry and Louis. He's seen countless pictures and heard even more stories, but this is the first time he's seen him in the flesh.

He's handsome in his suit, and his smile is bright when he catches Zayn looking.

Zayn's still too embarrassed to go over and introduce himself or whatever it is you're supposed to do when you're the only two single people over 12 at a wedding. But they stay the only ones, and as the evening progresses, all the couples disappear to the dance floor and leave Zayn alone at the table - with Niall.

“So you're Zayn,” Niall says, and that's how it starts.

Talking to Niall is surprisingly easy, starting out with their mutual friends seems to be safe ground, and from there they go on to make fun of all the whipped couples in the room and how awfully sappy it all is.

At some point of the night, Zayn starts flirting in earnest. He knows how to look at people through his eyelashes so they'll swoon, how to bite down on the corner of his mouth to get people's stares fixed there, how to lower his voice and when to touch.

He does his best with Niall that night, fighting past the nerves he feels whenever Niall looks at him, the flutter in his stomach when he laughs with his whole body. Niall reacts pretty much the same way everyone does, just like Zayn has expected, so it isn't like his flirting doesn't work. It just - doesn’t work.

When Niall gets up, he leans forward to press a soft kiss to Zayn's cheek. “I had a good time, thank you, Zayn,” he says, straightening up. “I'm sure I'll see you again soon. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Niall,” Zayn replies, watching him go with a feeling of stunned wonder.

He hasn't got a clue why Niall cut the night short before anything could happen, because he would've hooked up with him, has been thinking about kissing Niall since pretty much the minute he laid eyes on him. It doesn't really feel like a rejection either, is the thing.

It feels like a beginning.

*

The next time Zayn sees Niall, they’re at Louis’ stag do. Zayn's part of the organisation team and has to stay at least remotely sober, but he watches as Niall gets progressively drunker and drunker.

He's an affectionate drunk, and a loud one. Zayn watches with great delight as Niall entertains the whole group with his jokes that he laughs loudest at, and presses slobbery kisses to Louis’, Liam's and Harry's foreheads. When Niall heads towards him, Zayn's heart starts racing embarrassingly, but Niall doesn't go for a kiss. What Zayn gets is a hug, and it's warm and tight and possibly the best hug he's ever gotten.

He makes sure everyone gets back to their beds at the end of the night, him and Stan - Louis’ best man and the other organiser - splitting up to save time. Niall squeezes his fingers before Zayn leaves, and he falls asleep with a smile.

They're the only singles at the wedding again, and this time they're not only at the same table but even sat next to each other. Niall shoots Zayn a crooked smile when he sits down. “It’s pretty obvious you and Stan were the only ones not completely pissed last night,” he grins. “I’m almost jealous. Even though I have to admit you did a pretty good job at sobering Louis up, he doesn’t look half bad. How did you do that?”

“Lots of water,” Zayn shrugs, giving Niall his own crooked grin. “I have a feeling the main reason he looks so chipper now though, is how embarrassingly in love he is.”

Niall laughs at that. “Oh, yes. Love cures all evil, and all that jazz.” He pauses, shifts a little uncomfortably. “About last night…I’m sorry you had to bring me to my door, or…my bed, actually. I was well pissed.”

“It’s no bother,” Zayn says, and the words slip out before he can clamp his traitorous mouth shut. “At least I already know where you room is, now.”

Niall’s laugh is startled and a pink blush appears on his cheeks, but he doesn’t look away from Zayn. “Right,” he says, and his knee nudges Zayn’s under the table – accidentally? “Handy, that.”

When Zayn kisses him later, in a corner by the bar, they’re both flushed from dancing and the drinks they’ve had, but it’s purely Niall that makes Zayn’s head swim. They make use of Niall’s room that night and Zayn never wants to forget the way Niall’s skin feels under his fingers.

*

They don’t meet again until Harry gets married a few months later.

He’s placed them at the same table again, even though Zayn begged him not to, not after the awkward morning they’d had after Louis’ wedding. Maybe a breakfast with the majority of the wedding company hadn’t been the best setting for the morning after because they hadn’t gotten to talk at all, but the thought of seeing Niall again makes Zayn feel queasy.

Mostly because no matter how awkward their last encounter and the fact they never even exchanged numbers and haven’t seen each other in months, Zayn can’t stop thinking about him.

Zayn throws a sour look Harry’s way when he sees the place cards, but Harry’s too busy gazing at his wife lovingly to even notice. He’s already seen Niall during the ceremony but has wisely kept his distance – until now.

When Niall approaches their table, Zayn glances around desperately but only finds happy couples, as usual. He should really be used to it by now. He can’t decide if his heart is in his throat or at his feet, can feel the racing beat everywhere in his body and hears the blood rushing in his ears as he turns bravely to greet Niall.

What comes out is a squeaky sounding “Niall” that Niall reacts to with a nod and a smile that seems painfully awkward. Zayn reaches for his wine glass, positive he’s only gonna get through the party by drinking himself into a stupor. Or at least getting drunk enough to stop being able to physically feel Niall’s proximity.

By the time the first speeches are done, Zayn is well on his way to being tipsy and hasn’t had more than a few superficial conversations with the couples surrounding him. He feels even more pathetic at this wedding, because he can’t even talk to the only other person who’s there by himself and it really sucks. He thinks it’d suck not being able to talk to Niall even if there were no couples around at all.

It takes two hours of watching Niall dance with every little girl and making every granny laugh at least once, plus what has to be a whole bottle of wine for Zayn to gather up the courage to finally approach Niall.

He’s at the bar, looking more downtrodden than he has all night, staring into a glass of what Zayn thinks is whisky, and he doesn’t look up when Zayn stands next to him.

“Hey,” he tries, and Niall’s head snaps up.

“What do you want?” he asks but it doesn’t sound rude, just a little…lost.

“To talk?” Zayn’s unsure if it was a good idea to do this with this much alcohol in his system, so he orders a glass of water and empties it in one go. Niall stays, but looks at his hands silently all the while. “Listen. Don’t you think we should clear this up? Our mutual good friends might get us to a meet again in the future and I’d rather not have things be this awkward each time.”

Niall snorts, his fingers tight around his glass. “Awkward?”

“I realise this is my fault,” Zayn says, and maybe all the wine was good for loosening his tongue at least. “Maybe you wouldn’t have slept with me if I hadn’t been so forward last time, maybe you thought you owed it to me since we were the only ones without a partner at that wedding. I’m sorry if that’s the case, I would never do anything that wasn’t consensual – I didn’t mean to make you do anything you didn’t want, please believe me.”

“Zayn,” Niall tries to interrupt but Zayn lifts a hand.

“Please, can I just say this? I’ve had lots of time to think about what happened to make you not want to talk to me again, and I’ve done nothing else since Louis’ wedding. I wouldn’t regret what happened that night because it seemed like the best thing ever to me, but I do regret that you apparently felt different and that it ruined the great thing we had –“

“Zayn,” Niall said again, louder this time, and Zayn shuts up. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Um?” Zayn makes dumbly.

“I…why would you think I didn’t want to sleep with you? I don’t recall us being exceptionally drunk that night, and I thought I made it pretty clear how much I was enjoying what we were doing. What happened was…” He takes a deep breath and wipes a hand across his eyes once. Zayn is frozen where he stands, can’t even form a coherent thought. “I woke up and realised I wanted everything with you but that it hadn’t meant the same to you, so I thought it was best to keep my distance to make it easier on me.”

“What?” Zayn chokes out. “Why did you think I didn’t want the same thing?”

Niall looks at him sharply. “Do you?”

“Niall, I…” Zayn swallows and looks into Niall’s eyes. “I’ve thought about you every waking hour since the first time I saw you, it feels like. I wanted it then and I want it now. Want you, that is.”

A cautious smile spreads across Niall’s face. “So…you’re saying it was a misunderstanding?”

“It must’ve been, because the last thing I wanted was for you to keep your distance. I just didn’t feel comfortable spreading out our business over breakfast in front of all these people.”

Niall laughs then, brightly, and places both of his hands on Zayn’s face. “You’re a fucking idiot,” he says, and kisses Zayn for just a second. “And I’m a fucking idiot. I can’t believe this. I thought things like this only happened in movies.”

“Apparently not,” Zayn mumbles distractedly, busy with pulling Niall close and getting his mouth on him again. “This is all very much real.”

He whines when Niall pulls away again a few minutes later. “Wait,” he pants. “I’m not doing anything more with you tonight. I want both of us to be completely sober before we go any further, we need to talk.”

“Fine by me,” Zayn says. “As long as there’s not just talking.”

Niall laughs breathlessly, his palms warm against the side of Zayn’s neck. “As if I could.”


	22. way back when

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "my mum knows your mum and they’re trying to set us up but all i can remember of you is that time you stuck gum in my hair when we were seven so i automatically don’t like you au"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i asked for suggestions on what to write from my [do-want-tag](http://kissingziall.tumblr.com/tagged/do-want) on tumblr, here's the first one :)

“Niall, this is Zayn - you remember him, right?”

The man his mum is pointing at can't be much older than Niall, 25 at most. He's also possibly the most beautiful creature Niall has ever laid eyes on, which is why he's certain he's never seen him before. He'd remember that. “He's Trisha’s son, don't you recognise him? You used to play with each other when you were kids!”

Trisha Malik has been his mum's best friend for about five years now, since they'd both helped organising a town fun fair one summer. She has three lovely daughters and one son Niall has almost managed to forget until now. Zayn used to be a year above him and at a different school, but as children they'd sometimes had play dates. Niall has only one clear memory of Zayn, and it's that one that makes him sure he doesn't want to catch up with him. Disposing of his chewing gum by sticking it into Niall's hair had been a sure way of ending their friendship back then and Niall has no intention of rekindling it now. His mum had to shave off the patch of hair, and Niall's seven years old ego had taken quite the hit.

“Oh, him,” he says, but it doesn't deter his mum.

“I knew you'd remember!” she exclaims and pushes him closer. “You do too, don't you, Zayn? Why don't the two of you do some much needed catching up?”

“Mum, I don't think -” Niall tries, but his mother shushes him.

“Zayn's a photographer, aren't you, love? Trish always tells me how well you're doing. Niall is still at university, mind, he wants to be an astronautics professor. That takes time.”

“Thanks, mum,” Niall, who has no intention to share his life story with this guy, says loudly. “I think I've got it from here.”

“Oh, of course,” she says, and pushes Niall closer still. “Have fun, darlings.”

It's silent until Maura is out of earshot, and then Zayn says, “Judging from how my mum was talking you up on the way here and from what just happened, I'd say our mothers are setting us up.”

“Trying to,” Niall scoffs. “Not gonna happen.”

Zayn actually looks a little bit hurt (Niall does not notice the way his bottom lip juts out the slightest bit, just like he didn't notice Zayn's smooth voice and northern accent). “Giving up on me this early on?”

“How is it early on when I still remember how cold the wind was against the bald patch of my head where my mum had to shave my hair off after you _stuck your chewing gum in it_?”

Zayn laughs this time, loudly. “You still remember that?”

Niall scowls. “It's not funny! Not then and not now.”

“Aren’t you being a bit petty?” Zayn frowns. “That was almost twenty years ago.”

“So? The fact that you still laugh at me after all this time tells me you haven’t learned a thing.”

“Wow, now you’re just being childish. And you want to become a professor? How do you want to teach adults when you don’t act like one yourself?”

It's possible Niall sees a little bit red at that. “At least I'm actually learning something, am working towards a real job! A photographer, huh? Let's be honest, when isn't that a euphemism for “I wasn't good at anything but I liked taking pictures for the school newspaper so now I scrape by through taking photos at weddings”? Thanks for confirming that some people just never change.”

Niall is too pissed off to feel bad about running out of his own mother’s garden party and only gets madder at Zayn when he goes to sulk in his room like a teenager. So what if Zayn is really infuriatingly pretty? He's an arse, that's all there is to it.

*

“Don't you think you might've just gotten off on the wrong foot?” Niall's mum asks him after he's been forced to tell her what happened. “You were kids, and I don't even think he meant any harm back then.”

“He was rude either way,” Niall insists petulantly, and his mum shakes her head.

“You weren't exactly charming either, were you, love? It's water under the bridge now anyway, he's gone back into the city, but maybe you could be a little bit nicer next time?”

“Why does there have to be a next time?” Niall grumps. “I know what you're doing, mum, stop trying to push me at him.”

Maura has the decency to blush at being caught out. “Trisha and I just thought you'd be so lovely together. We thought about setting you up with one of the girls, but it's really Zayn who fits with you. The two of you would complement each other perfectly.”

“No way,” Niall says, unable to believe his own mother would try to set him up just to form a bond to her best friend's family. “Mum, there's no way I'd ever want to be with him, no matter what the two of you think. We have nothing in common whatsoever.”

“How do you know that?” Maura asks. “It's been more than 15 years, you know nothing about Zayn.”

Niall glares darkly. “I know enough.”

*

It doesn't leave him alone, though. Niall quickly pushes the whole incident to the back of his mind because he really doesn't want to be thinking about his mum and whether she might be right or wrong, but it feels like it haunts him.

Liam has a friend called Zayn who he invites for his birthday party the next week and Harry signs up for a photography class that he won't shut up about.

The worst thing, however, happens while Niall is flipping through his beloved National Geographic magazine. Because there, under an undeniably brilliant photo of rebuilding works in Nepal after the latest devastating earthquake, it is. A short description of the situation in Nepal and below, in cursive print: _by Zayn Malik_.

Niall tries not to panic as he thinks about what he said to Zayn at the barbecue. Holy shit, he made a right arse of himself.

Maybe he should try and make amends with him next time they're both in their hometown. He does owe him an apology, that much is obvious. Niall wipes his face. He hates feeling bad for something he did thinking he was in the right - and he still doesn't think he was in the wrong, per se, but the thing about Zayn's job might have been a low blow, no matter how rude he was.

“Ugh,” he groans and slaps his magazine shut, ignoring Harry's half confused, half worried face. He has more important things to focus on than Zayn's hurt feelings, like Liam's birthday present, for instance.

*

Liam’s gone all out for his 25th. He’s even rented a bar – granted, it’s a dingy little hole in the wall sort of place, but he’s rented the whole thing. Whenever his friends do shit like this, Niall is reminded of the fact that most of them have settled in their working lives and are earning good money while he’s still just a poor PhD student.

It’s pretty crowded already when Niall arrives and he heads straight for the bar to get a pint. His claustrophobia usually kicks in later when he’s had something to drink. He gets held up by a few people he’s met through Liam, and some of the friends Liam made through him, until Harry eventually finds him by the bar.

“Have you seen Liam already?” he asks instead of an introduction.

Niall shakes his head no. “Why? Where is he?”

“He was looking for you earlier,” Harry explains. “Seems very eager to introduce you to his mysterious friend Zayn, who’s hot by the way.”

Niall groans. What are the odds of two people wanting to set him up with someone called Zayn – which isn’t exactly a common name – within two weeks? Harry looks confused again and Niall waves his hand dismissively. “I’ve just had my fill of people called Zayn, don’t worry about it.”

“Wait until you see this one,” Harry says, wiggling his eyebrows before he gets distracted by someone he knows, waving at them. “I’ll see you later, yeah?”

He’s gone before Niall can reply so he orders another pint and stays where he is, talks to whoever approaches him and feels a little bit sorry for himself. Mostly because he doesn’t know why he’s letting someone he doesn’t even like affect him this much.

And then three things happen in very quick succession: Niall hears Liam’s voice call “Nialler! There you are!”, he turns around and spots him pushing through the crowd, and then he steps aside to reveal the person with him.

Zayn seems just as surprised as him, and Niall wants to slap himself. The possibility that it could be the same Zayn should really have crossed his mind, but it hasn’t and he watches helplessly as Zayn’s face turns from surprised to annoyed.

Liam is saying something but Niall can’t hear him over all the things running through his mind, the things he should say and some sort of running commentary on how hot Zayn looks, even better than he remembers from the garden party.

“I didn’t expect to see you here,” is what comes out and Liam shuts up, looking between them.

“You two know each other?”

“We, uh, we’re from the same town,” Zayn says and Liam claps Niall’s back excitedly.

“Even better! I’ll just leave you two to it then, shall I?”

It's the second time tonight someone leaves Niall before he can reply, but this time is much worse because Zayn looks anything but happy to be left with them.

“I really don't want a repeat of our last meeting,” Zayn says, crossing his arms. “So I'm just gonna go.”

“Where to? Do you even know anyone but Liam here?” Niall asks and immediately winces. „No, Zayn, wait! I’m sorry. About that just now and…about last time as well.”

Zayn arches one eyebrow. “What?”

“I obviously still think you’re a dick and kind of rude –“

“I don’t need to listen to this.” He turns around but Niall grabs his arm before he can get too far. This really isn’t how he intended to spend his night.

“Wait,” he sighs. “I’m doing this all wrong, aren’t I? Listen, I feel like maybe we did have a little bit of a rough start. I wasn’t nice to you, I have to admit that, but you weren’t that friendly either and there is that incident with the gum…”

“For fuck’s sake, Niall, that was years ago!”

“I know,” Niall chuckles. “What I’m trying to say –“

“Badly,” Zayn interrupts and Niall rolls his eyes but has to suppress a grin.

“What I’m trying to say with my mediocre rhetorical skills, is that I think maybe we should start again. I already know I was wrong about your job, I saw one of your shots in my National Geographic and it was sort of brilliant. So, sorry about that.”

Zayn looks at him thoughtfully but Niall is pretty sure there’s a smile tugging on the corner of his mouth. “You were ruder than me.”

Niall has to laugh at that and it’s loud enough for people to turn around and stare but then Zayn is laughing along and Niall really doesn’t care anymore.

Niall buys Zayn a drink – it goes on Liam’s tab like everything but hard liquor does tonight, but it’s the gesture that counts – and asks him about his job, Zayn tells him he’s been travelling for most of the year but plans on staying mostly put in London from now on, then asks how Niall got into teaching astronautics.

He doesn’t laugh when Niall tells him his asthma prevented him from becoming an actual astronaut, which Niall appreciates enough to say yes when Zayn asks him to dance a few hours later.

“It’s too loud to talk now anyway,” he yells into Niall’s ear. “And everyone else is dancing, too.”

Zayn’s quite good at dancing – in fact, he moves his hips in a way that makes it sort of impossible for Niall not to reach out and touch him, and Zayn doesn’t protest. Instead, he slings his arms around Niall’s neck and shuffles closer. Niall sees Harry wave excitedly and make big congratulatory gestures at him, so he buries his face in Zayn’s neck and gets Zayn’s hand in his hair in return.

It’s just natural he presses his lips to Zayn’s throat next, and if the full-bodied shudder Zayn gives at that is any indication, it’s not an unwelcome move.

They kiss for real not much later and it’s odd how they got from yelling at each other to this, but so very wonderful that Niall feels high with it. If it were up to him they’d never stop kissing but Zayn pulls away long before Niall has had enough.

“Wait,” he says, and Niall has to read it from his lips because the music is so loud now. His stomach plummets but Zayn doesn’t really let go of him, just drags him through the dancing party guests and towards the door.

They stumble into the cool night air in front of the bar and Niall shakes his head a little dizzily, takes gulps of the fresh air. Then he turns to Zayn, who at some point must’ve started holding his hand, because their fingers are still entwined now.

“What’s wrong?” Niall asks.

“Nothing,” Zayn shakes his head. “Everything’s fine, don’t worry. Just…there’s a few things I want to say before we go any further.”

“Okay?” Niall prompts, trying to hide how excited the prospect of “going further” with Zayn makes him. Is it too early to ask when he can see him again?

Zayn clears his throat nervously and tries to pull his hand away, but Niall holds on stubbornly. If he isn’t imagining things, it makes Zayn smile. “Considering tonight wasn’t the first time someone tried to set us up, and our lives overlap in several areas, it would possibly be very hard to avoid each other.”

“Avoid each other?” Niall frowns. “I don’t want to avoid you, what are you talking about?”

“No, Niall, hear me out,” Zayn says, laughing a little. “It’s my turn to say something badly. I just think…we shouldn’t hook up tonight. It’d be way too embarrassing having to explain that to our mums, but if you want…would you want to go out with me sometime? Soon, maybe?”

“Oh thank god,” Niall breathes out on a laugh. “I thought you were gonna break up with me before there was even anything to break up.”

Zayn grins at him, his eyes sparkling even in the dark. “Is that a yes, then?”

Niall pushes forward, kisses Zayn slow and lingering. “Of course, you idiot.” He sucks on Zayn’s bottom lip for a moment, then licks across his front teeth before he fits his lips against Zayn’s jaw. Zayn’s fingers dig into his shoulder and hip, he gives a small moan as Niall latches onto his neck and Niall grins against his skin. “The only thing I really don’t get: Why would you ever tell our mums what we got up to tonight?”

Zayn laughs.


	23. off anon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘whoops that was supposed to be on anon’ AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apparently i am posting two today? :D

niazkilam said _: i realise this could come off as creepy but i saw the selfie you posted yesterday and i recognised you from my uni and since i can never muster up the courage to talk to you there im just gonna tell you how hot i think you are on here_

Niall stared at the message for a whole minute, torn between shock that someone from his real life knew his tumblr (a little panicky, he thought about all the times he'd overshared) and curiosity about this person who was too shy to talk to him in person but sent this message from their probably equally as personal blog.

One click on the URL led him onto the blog, one with a simple theme with clear lines. “Zayn, 22, student. art hoe?” the bio said, and Niall snorted. The posts Zayn reblogged were mostly about art and comics, and Niall wondered why he'd been following him in the first place. His bio had stated “niall (yes that's my name - it's irish like me). i like music, sports and space” for ages and it was all he really blogged about, apart from the obligatory humour posts.

When he scrolled a little further down, he found a space post or two, so Niall figured that was probably what he was following him for. From what he’d seen on his blog, Zayn seemed to be a chill guy who sometimes went a little off-topic in his tags but that made Niall only like him more.

Next, he went looking for an about-page, or a selfie tag, because he was curious. Maybe he’d seen this guy before too? It would make sense since their paths had obviously crossed before. All he found was a /tagged/me where Zayn had mostly reblogged relatable posts but also made a few personal posts – mostly complaining about his classwork, Niall could relate – which was why Niall kept scrolling in the hope of finding a stray selfie somewhere in there as well.

He was rewarded with an uncaptioned picture of a guy wearing a white cap that hid most of the face underneath, but Niall got a glimpse of a dark beard, a plush bottom lip and a pierced nose. Niall swallowed, because seriously? This guy was hot, even when most of his face was hidden from view.

He kept scrolling, unable to stop until he came across a personal post that made him pause. _saw cute guy again today_ , it said. _he had his guitar with him again and I almost noticed him too late because his hair was covered with a snapback today. he laughed at something his friend said and I want to die!! he’s so cute!!!_

And – Niall didn’t want to assume or anything, but that was him. The guitar, the snapback, people thinking he was “cute” (which usually annoyed him but somehow didn’t in this context), plus the fact that Zayn had sent him a message stating he thought he was hot and that he’d seen him around campus; it really wasn’t that much of a reach to assume this post was about him as well, was it?

“Fuck,” Niall whispered and kept scrolling. There weren’t any more posts about him, as far as Niall could tell, but there was another fairly recent selfie and that one would’ve made everyone stop in their tracks.

Niall gasped and stared for longer than he would’ve liked to admit to anyone, but a) Zayn wasn’t only hot, he was absolutely gorgeous, and b) he’d definitely seen him before. Zayn was the guy Niall had often admired from afar, effortlessly cool with the leather jacket he wore around campus, inhumanely beautiful with a slightly dorky laugh Niall had once had the pleasure of hearing.

And this god thought _he_ was hot? Niall couldn’t believe it. He had about a hundred scenarios in his head of how to approach Zayn but he’d never done it for fear of embarrassing himself to death. Well.

“Shit,” he mumbled as he went back to staring at Zayn’s message, wondering what to say in reply. “Jesus.”

_thanks mate !_ he typed, going for casual. _can only give the compliment back … now about anyone being creepy , that’s gotta be me ! went on your blog and found ur selfies becos I was curious and well reckon theres no easier way t say this but ive seen U before too , and was to scared to say hello ha !_

Niall sent the message before he could think more about it, wondering, hoping that this would finally be his chance with Zayn. The name fit, he thought, beautiful and a little bit mysterious. He wanted to unravel him, find out if he was mysterious at all, what he liked apart from art and comics, what his voice sounded like at any time of the day, how he liked his coffee, his tea, what drove him mad and what made him smile.

He felt like a creeper but couldn’t stop smiling as he headed to class.

“Are you alright?” Liam asked when Niall sat down next to him. “You look a little…delirious?”

“I’m fine, perfectly fine,” Niall waved his friend off, pulling out his phone and waiting until it connected with the uni’s WiFi. He opened the tumblr app and felt his heartbeat quickening when he saw that Zayn had already sent him another ask.

niazkilam said: _oh my god that was supposed to be on anon!! i thought i’d sent that on anon, shit im so sorry!! sorry if I made you uncomfortable omg_

Niall grinned down at his phone dumbly for a moment before his prof walked in and he had to put it away again. He could've figured that one out, he supposed, he'd been surprised at Zayn's courage after all. He knew he’d never purposely have done it either.

After class, Niall had another message from Zayn.

niazkilam said: _alright now that i can sorta look past my mortification ive actually read your message and are you serious?? cuz if you are...would you like to have coffee sometime maybe? ;)_

If Niall were a teenage girl he'd have shrieked loudly at that, but since he was a (mostly) dignified 22-year-old, he only jumped up and down in time with his heartbeat for a moment. Niall had never been more thankful for someone forgetting to check the little box underneath the ask box. He’d had this sort of distant crush on Zayn for about a year now, and having seen his tumblr, Niall knew he wanted to get to know him for real. He had a feeling they’d get along really well, and the thought made him smile some more. Then he replied.

_Defo meant it ! In fact, am heading to the coffee shop on campus right now , fancy meeting me there ? if your not busy_

He resisted checking his phone again before he arrived at the small coffee shop and smiled widely when he saw Zayn's next ask, his heart racing in a way that felt kind of good.

_On my way now!_


	24. you'll find me in the region of the summer stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "i went to a cliff near my house to watch the eclipse one night and you were the only other one there and we started talking about eclipses and stars and moons and oh god you look so passionate about it au"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got more prompts!! and then i stopped writing haha - but here we are, hopefully i'll be able to finish a few more :)

There's a rustling in the bushes behind Zayn and a loud “Jesus Christ!”, so he turns around to see what the commotion is about. A boy – a man? – has stumbled onto the cliff Zayn's sat at, staring at him in obvious surprise. He's wearing skinny jeans and a soft jumper, his hair is blond and his eyes wide and of a light colour, as far as Zayn can tell when the only light source is the full moon up in the sky.

“You alright, mate?” Zayn asks, trying not to seem as startled as he is. He didn’t really expect anyone else to come out here to sit on a lonely cliff.

“Didn't expect anyone to be here already,” the guy shrugs, coming closer carefully. “Startled me.”

Zayn looks at him, trying to place where he's seen the guy before. “Sorry?”

“‘S fine,” he shrugs. “Alright if I stay anyway? I don't really have anywhere else the eclipse will be visible from this nicely. You here for that as well?”

“Yeah,” Zayn smiles. “None of my friends wanted to come watch the lunar eclipse with me so I found myself a lonely spot. Or, I thought I did.”

The guy laughs, unrestrained and bright. “Sorry to disturb your solitude. I come here quite often, it's perfect for stargazing, not too far from the city but far enough to actually get to see stars with your bare eyes.”

“The waves down below add to the atmosphere, don't you think?” Zayn agrees. “Very hipster.”

He gets another laugh for that. “Harry would like that.”

“Harry?” Zayn asks, confused by the way the name is dropped as if he should know who they’re talking about.

“Harry Styles,” the guy frowns, then smiles a little self-deprecatingly. “You don't recognise me, do you?”

Zayn blanches. Shit, so apparently they have met before. And they both know Harry?

“It's alright.” The smile stays. “It's been a couple of years and you were a year above me, but we went to the same school. I'm...I'm Harry’s best friend.”

Zayn looks at him a little closer, takes in the sharp, stubbly jaw, the unsure twist to his mouth, the eyes - they're blue, Zayn can see it now, clear blue - and the blond hair, the brown roots. It's the hair that stirs the memories up, thoughts of a bleach blond boy with a face much softer than now, crooked teeth and a loud laugh.

“You're Niall,” he gasps. “ _You're_ Niall?”

Niall laughs. He really does that rather a lot, Zayn thinks. “Should I be offended by how shocked you sound?”

“No, I - sorry, no. Just...you grew up.”

“I should hope so,” Niall grins, but he ducks his head and Zayn thinks he looks a little bit flustered.

Now that he knows it’s him, Zayn sees all the ways he hasn’t changed, but he really never knew Niall all that well, so he tries not to feel too guilty. If Zayn had friends who weren’t his age in school, they were usually older than him and he met them through Louis. The only one younger than him who he had anything to do with was Harry, and only because they were neighbours and had always played together as children. They grew apart once they were too old to play but still saw each other around the neighbourhood or when their parents had barbecues, so by association, Zayn met Harry’s friends too. He remembers Liam, quiet and puppy-eyed, and Niall, loud and sunny in everything he did.

“Do you still play the guitar?” he asks and watches as Niall flushes with pleasure.

“You remember that? I do, yeah.”

“So you play guitar and you stargaze,” Zayn says a little teasingly. “What else do you do?”

“Go to class,” Niall shrugs. “Have a pint, play footie with the lads, FIFA. What about you?”

“Stress about my thesis, mostly. Try to maintain my cool and artsy vibe. And stargazing, it seems.”

Niall laughs, and it’s a real HAHAHA laugh that Zayn finds entirely charming. “Do you come here often? I’ve never seen you here before.”

“Do _you_ come often? Cause it sounds like you do, mate,” Zayn laughs. “This is only the second time I’m here, and the first one on purpose.”

“I go here every time I’m home,” Niall says. “Make fun of my stargazing ways all you want, but this really is the best spot to look up. I love it.”

Zayn stares into the darkness above them, the thousands, millions of stars and the big bright moon and nods. “No, I get that. I only do it when there’s something special going on but I do see the appeal of space.”

“That’s the thing, though, isn’t it?” Niall says, sounding wistful. “There’s always something special going on. It doesn’t have to be a huge and obvious thing like a lunar eclipse, but there’s not a single moment where nothing happens up there. A star dies and a new one is born, galaxies collapse into black holes, nebulae form - every second. We can’t always see these things, at least not with our bare eyes, but they still happen.”

“Wow,” Zayn murmurs. “It appears I’ve struck a chord there. You’re really into all this, then? Stars, planets...space?”

Niall grins at him. “There’s a lot you can learn from me, Malik.”

“That’s undoubtedly true. I know next to nothing, I just think it’s pretty.”

“That’s a start,” Niall chuckles. “At least you don’t think it’s boring.”

“So…gravitational waves.”

“What, are we just throwing around technical terms now?”

“No,” Zayn elbows him lightly. “I meant to ask you what you thought about the detection of gravitational waves. It’s all I’ve heard in the past few days.”

“I think it’s exciting, like everyone should. This opens up so many possibilities, we‘ll be able to make so many more observations, details we could never have hoped to uncover. This opens up a whole new field – wait, sorry, this has got to be boring for you. I bet you’ve read all that stuff anyway, I just think about it the same way pretty much every scientist does.”

“I like hearing you talk about it,” Zayn admits and only realises then how true it is. This is something Niall is obviously very passionate about, and it makes Zayn want to sit and listen to him all night.

Niall is staring at him with wide eyes. “Yeah?” he breathes, and then seems to catch himself, clearing his throat. “Um. Thanks?”

There's a bit of an awkward pause and Zayn rubs the back of his neck. “So...tonight you're here to see the lunar eclipse?” he asks inelegantly, then realises with a wince they’ve already covered that in the beginning.

Niall nods anyway. “Same as you, I suppose?”

“Yeah. I just...remember two solar eclipses and the blood moon from a while back and I just thought I'd check this one out as well. Hey, if you know so much about space, mind telling me what exactly is going on to make this happen tonight?”

Niall sounds a little like a Wikipedia page when he tells Zayn that to cause an eclipse, the moon passes behind the Earth into its shadow and that sun, Earth and moon have to be exactly aligned, that blood moon is just another name for a lunar eclipse and the special thing about the last one was its size due to the position the moon had been in - but Zayn doesn't mind, likes listening to Niall's voice and the way his accent curls around his vowels. Somehow they move on from there to moons in general and Niall tries to teach him the names of Jupiter’s moons (“Io, Callisto and Europa, is it really that hard, Zayn?”) and Zayn laughs, knowing full well that the only one he'll remember in ten minutes time will be Europa - if he's lucky. Niall tells him stories about flowers grown in space and funny or sometimes weird facts about far away planets (who knew there's a planet with three suns, or one that's basically a giant diamond) and Zayn somehow learns along the way that Niall goes to uni not even an hour from him, that he has a nephew he's trying to get into astronomy and that he dreams to visit Epcot and NASA (“wherever they'll let me into, really”) one day.

Zayn shares a few things about himself as well and tries to be subtle when he shifts closer and closer. For a few minutes, he worries if this is a bad idea - trying something with Harry's best friend who he might run into again even if it doesn't work out - but very soon, it stops being about Harry at all. It's about Niall and his laugh that makes Zayn feel like the sun is rising in the middle of the night, and he's worth the risk.

When the moon starts colouring, the Earth’s shadow tainting it red, Zayn brushes his fingers against Niall's carefully. Niall makes a soft sound, like a snort almost, and takes Zayn's hand properly.

They watch the eclipse play out, hand in hand and Zayn feels like a teenager again,  and when the moon is back to its usual self, Zayn turns to face Niall and his bright smile. Niall's already there and he places a hand at the side of Zayn's neck when Zayn's eyes flicker down to his lips.

“Took you long enough,” he whispers, grins, and then kisses him.


	25. secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "au where the boys know zayn has a secret but didn't think of a cute relationship with niall, harry’s neighbour"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for your kudos and comments, i really appreciate them xxx

“He's always busy these days!” Louis complains. “I've had to take Liam on as my best friend instead, and that's no fun at all.”

“Hey,” Liam pouts and pulls Louis into a headlock, but Harry knows neither of them are serious about it.

It's true that Zayn has been making himself rare these days, though. He always has rather dodgy excuses, too, and it's odd because they don't really have secrets within their friend group. But Zayn clearly has one now and it's driving the three of them crazy.

Harry runs a hand through his hair. “Has he said anything of use to you today? Like, about where he is?”

“Nothing,” Liam shakes his head. “Or well, he did say he had to work late but when has Zayn ever worked longer than 3pm on a Friday? He leaves at noon when he can and I don’t even think his office building is open any longer than three.”

“He’s busy the weekend because he has to skype his sisters for several hours and clean his entire flat,” Louis says, rolling his eyes to show how little of that he actually believes. “I can’t remember Zayn ever cleaning his entire flat, he doesn’t even do it when his mum comes to visit.”

All three of them sigh deeply. “We need to figure out what he’s keeping from us,” Harry decides, and both Liam and Louis nod gravely.

“Not tonight, though,” Louis says. “It’s his fault if Zayn misses pub night, but I won’t.”

*

When Harry locks the door to his flat later that day and heads towards the stairs to follow Louis and Liam to the pub, he almost runs into Zayn.

“Zayn!” he exclaims. “Did you change your mind?”

Zayn looks almost as surprised to see him as Harry is, which is a bit strange. “Uh,” he makes. “No, I...aren’t you supposed to be at the pub already?”

“I’m on my way there now,” Harry frowns. “A little late. But why are you here if you thought I wouldn’t be here?”

“I, um,” Zayn stutters. “I was just coming up to see if maybe you were still here. I was in the neighbourhood and needed the loo so I thought I’d check?”

“Oh well, lucky you,” Harry snickers, turning back around. “I’ll let you in.”

Harry’s neighbour Niall opens his door right as they walk past it, looking as if he’s searching something, and his eyes widen noticeably when he sees them.

“Niall!” Harry calls. “Haven’t seen you in a while, how are you?”

Zayn doesn’t say anything. Harry figures it’s probably because he needs the loo and hurries to unlock his door for his friend before turning to Niall, who’s still watching wide-eyed.

“Zayn couldn’t wait until he got home,” Harry laughs and explains the situation to Niall. Niall’s ability to laugh at everything Harry says genuinely and at length is one of the reasons he’s Harry’s favourite neighbour and one of his best friends, but today he doesn’t manage more than a small chuckle.

“Are you alright?” Harry asks concernedly.

“Yeah, mate, sorry,” Niall shrugs. “Just tired.”

“What have you been up to? Are you free tomorrow night? We haven’t cooked in ages.”

“No, sorry,” Niall winces. “Got plans already. But we should do something soon.”

Zayn returns then, smiling at Niall a little awkwardly, which is another odd thing. Harry always thought they got along very well at his parties and get-togethers. “You ready?” he asks. “Are you sure you don’t want to come to the pub? You could come too, Niall.”

“Nah, I’m really tired,” Niall insists and Zayn shakes his head.

“Sorry, mate, I’m busy tonight.”

*

“That makes no sense at all,” Louis frowns after Harry has told them about his strange encounter with Zayn. “Even if he wanted to use your loo - which I doubt - what business does he have in your neighbourhood? I don’t see it.”

“Why is he lying to us?” Liam asks sadly and they have a few pints pitying themselves before Louis’ face lights up.

“We should spy on him.”

“Spy on him?” Harry repeats. “We can’t do that.”

“Speak for yourself,” Louis says haughtily. “I’m very stealthy, and I am going to find out what he’s up to. You’re free tomorrow as well, aren’t you Liam?”

Liam only hesitates for a second before he nods. “He lied to us first, Haz.”

Harry sighs deeply. Why is he friends with these people again? “Alright. Since Niall doesn’t have time for me either, I’ll be free most of the day. I have my yoga class in the morning but then…”

He ran right into that, so Harry endures the teasing for his passion for yoga, not even listening properly. He used to try and argue back, but arguing with Louis is a lost cause from the start. Not because he has such good arguments, but because no matter what, he won’t back down.

Planning to spy on your friend while drunk might not be the best idea they’ve ever had, but they scribble all of their ideas on a napkin, making plans to meet up at noon the next day one street over from Zayn’s flat.

*

Harry leaves his flat around half past eleven. He’s taken a quick shower after his yoga class and feels pretty refreshed and not hungover at all. He still questions his sanity, his eyes and if he’s really awake when he rounds the corner and spots none other than Zayn at the bus stop. He slows down and stands so he can just about keep an eye on his friend, hoping he won’t be spotted. What’s Zayn doing here again?

He texts Liam and Louis in their group chat very fittingly only named with the detective emoji and gets “ _follow him!!!_ ” back two times. Harry rolls his eyes. It’s very likely him and Zayn have the same destination anyway. He’s very careful to stay out of Zayn’s sight when they get on the bus and find seats, but Zayn’s attention seems to be focused on his phone anyway. He has a goofy smile on his face whenever it lights up and Harry runs a hand through his hair thoughtfully.

_you think he’s in love?_ , he texts.

_what zayn?_ , Louis texts back, and Liam sends, _why?_

_he’s smiling at his phone like a lovestruck puppy. x_

_with who???_ Well, if Harry only knew that.

He gets off the bus at the very last second so Zayn won’t spot him and follows him in a distance, stopping at the street corner and watching as Zayn enters his building. Then he heads to the meeting point with Liam and Louis. They confer for a minute and decide they should keep watch at his building so he can’t leave without them noticing.

In between their shadowing, they take turns getting coffee and snacks because for quite a while, Zayn doesn’t do anything. Or at least nothing they can see, because he seems to stay inside. They discuss Harry’s theory of a secret lover but can’t figure out why Zayn would keep such a thing from them, which is why they decide it has to be something else. When Zayn finally leaves the house a couple of hours later, they all pile onto the bus after him and get quite a few looks for the way they’re trying to hide behind other passengers. It’s much the same as earlier, though, Zayn barely looks up from his phone and doesn’t notice them.

He’s heading towards a café, it seems, and all three of them stop in their tracks when it becomes obvious that he’s indeed meeting up with someone.

“What,” Harry says flatly as Zayn wraps his arms around Niall and kisses him.

Niall holds on and kisses him back with a familiarity that makes Harry want to turn away because it feels like he’s watching something intimate and private. He glances at Louis and Liam and finds them staring at the couple just as surprised. Niall and Zayn are talking in low voices, heads bent close and fingers tangled between them, like there is no one else in the world, and then head into the café.

“He kept Niall secret from us?” Liam asks disbelievingly.

“When did that happen?” How could Harry not have noticed something was going on between his best friend and his neighbour (and other best friend, if he’s honest)?

“When was he gonna tell us?” Louis scowls. “I can’t believe we had to find out this way. Let’s go in there!”

“And do what?” Harry stops him, grabbing his arm. “Storm up to them and yell at them for wanting some privacy? I mean, I kind of get why you might want to be in a relationship for a while before there’s three more blokes in it as well.”

“We’re not having a fivesome, Harry,” Liam pipes up, eyes wide.

“That’s not what I meant,” Harry laughs. “I just think…we’re pretty close, the four of us. We’re always together and don’t hold back with opinions and stuff, we talk about everything, yeah? Maybe they didn’t want that for the beginning of their relationship.”

Louis huffs and Liam squeezes his shoulder.

They can’t really see Niall and Zayn through the windows of the café, but what they see is almost sickenly cute. They seem to be constantly touching and making heart eyes at each other to a capacity where Louis makes a retching sound. “Honestly, they look as if they’re about to get married, how long has he been hiding this from us?”

“It really can’t have been that long,” Harry says, thinking aloud. “The excuses started a couple weeks ago, right? We didn’t notice until it became too much, when was that?”

“Maybe four or five weeks ago?” Liam asks and Harry nods in agreement.

“So, adding, two to three weeks where we didn’t notice anything off yet, they’ve been dating for barely two months.”

“That’s two months where they were lying to us!” Louis still seems a little angry but Harry knows it’s just because he’s bad at sharing his friends.

“Only two months and they act like that,” Liam mumbles, speaking more along Harry’s line of thoughts.

They wait until the two of them leave the café, following at a distance as they seem to be taking a romantic walk, hand in hand. “If they stop to snog, I’m going up there,” Louis threatens. He doesn’t have to go through with it, because the couple ducks into a pub when it starts drizzling, and Louis, Liam and Harry only look at each other for a moment before following.

There's no plan to reveal themselves right away, there has been no plan at all since they figured out what's going on, but there's no hiding when they burst into the pub. Zayn and Niall both look up and adopt matching horrified expressions, sharing a single desperate look before turning back to Harry, Liam and Louis. Harry wants to laugh at them a little bit.

“I don't want any gross details,” Louis says. “I just want to know why you didn't tell us.”

Zayn looks guilty and Niall embarrassed, which Harry thinks makes sense since the only one from their group who he really knows is Harry - and Zayn, apparently.

He's still the first one to catch himself, smiling at the three of them. “Why don't you sit down with us first?”

They do, Harry and Liam dragging a reluctant Louis with them between the two of them. Harry watches as Niall and Zayn seem to have a silent conversation with just their eyes, takes in how close they’re sitting, their hands out of sight below the table but probably touching. He imagines their legs pressed together as well and has to bite his lip to keep the smile in. They’re really cute.

On his left, Louis rolls his eyes and clears his throat obnoxiously. Zayn’s eyes snap back to him, but his hand remains under the table with Niall’s.

“I’m sorry,” he starts, looking at each of them. “For lying to you. But Niall and I...we wanted to keep quiet until we were sure where we were heading with this? Like, because Niall and you, Harry, are so close. It would’ve been awkward if we’d have split after a few weeks, so we wanted to take our time without the added pressure of your, um, expectations? Not that you’d pressure us or anything-”

“No, I get it,” Harry interrupted, chuckling at Zayn’s panic. “I actually said something similar earlier when we were wondering why you kept it a secret. I take it you know where you’re going now?”

Zayn looks at Niall who smiles and nudges his shoulder against Zayn’s lightly, stays tucked into Zayn’s side. “Yeah,” Zayn’s smile is so schmoopy that Harry has a right mind to make fun of him, if only he wasn’t so busy trying not to coo. “I suppose we do. I would’ve told you soon, I promise.”

Liam reaches across the table to ruffle Niall’s hair and pat Zayn’s shoulder, smiling so wide his eyes crinkle. “I’m so happy for you! At least I assume that was Zayn talk for “I plan on dating him for as long as he wants me”?”

Zayn blushes and Niall grins brightly, craning his head to press a quick kiss to Zayn’s jaw. “I hope it was.”

Zayn turns towards him and doesn’t take his eyes off him even though he technically answers Liam’s question. “It was. Absolutely.”

Harry, Louis and Liam all avert their eyes when they kiss - partly grossed out but mostly endeared, if they’re honest - and Harry nudges Louis’ side, whose carefully annoyed facade has started to slip. He still hasn’t said anything, though.

He clears his throat again and Zayn and Niall break apart, clearly embarrassed. “Well,” Louis says, “I’m only approving of this because you two are too bloody cute to stay mad at. You’re like a puppy. One that makes me want to vomit sometimes.”

They all laugh, but Harry still catches the relief on Zayn’s face. Liam gives Louis a loving noogie (this is something the two of them have perfected, loving abuse) for coming ‘round and then turns to Niall to talk to him.

It turns out that Niall and Zayn really are one of those terribly cute couples, not huge on actual kissing in front of people but absolutely shameless about other sorts of PDA. They’re constantly touching, sometimes going as far as sitting in each other’s laps - they actually switch when one thinks he’s getting to heavy. Like, Harry wasn’t aware people did that in real life. If they’re not touching, they’re staring at each with actual heart eyes, and sometimes they’re doing both at the same time. It’s disgusting, but Harry still wants to get used to it.


	26. such wonderful things surround you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "HEY HOW ABOUT niall working at an aquarium,, and he has a shitty boss thats making him work late to fix a tank or smth idk ANd so hes all alone chillin singing 2 himself when zouis come bursting through the door bc they were about to steal a fish and they see niall and theyre like shit shit shit but nialls really chill abt it (as long as they return it in one piece) and zayn thinks nialls super sweet and wants to do something cute in return!!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> struggling with writer's block again so i decided to work on one of the prompts i got and finally got to this one!! i don't know a thing about fish and repairing tanks but i'm pretty sure what i made them do here doesn't work at all :D  
> title is from _under the sea_ from the little mermaid...just because

Niall is drenched.

He groans when another spurt of water spills down his front and uses his arm to wipe some water off his face. He knew his boss doesn’t like him but this is a new low, making him stay late to fix a broken tank. They have mechanics for that, for fuck’s sake, but no, Niall’s the one pressing a cloth to the plastic above him in a desperate attempt to stop the water from coming.

It started with a spray of water from the bottom of the baby stingray tank, just enough to form a noticeable trickle across the floor. It’s more than a spray now, and Niall feels seriously underqualified for the repair. He’s studying marine biology, not whatever is needed to fix a fucking fish tank that’s about to explode from pressure for all he knows.

Judging from the water continuing to spill it’s too late to leave and get help now, though, so Niall has no choice. He has their emergency repair kit, but he doesn’t actually know how to use any of it. He’s tried taping the leak closed, but that didn’t keep for more than the few minutes it took for the water to soak through the glue that kept the tape on the tank.

It’s the best shot he has, though. Maybe it’ll give him enough time to call for help, at least, so he grabs a new dry cloth and presses it to the leak. He picks up the tape again and starts ripping off pieces with one hand and his teeth, deftly taping the cloth to the tank. Hopefully it’ll delay the water’s work on the glue and give him a little extra time.

Niall’s just finished applying the tape in a crisscross pattern and works on putting some longer straps across the strange looking wad he’s formed, when there’s a loud crash from the staff room. He stills and listens carefully. Niall knows for a fact that he’s the last one left at the aquarium, the time far too late for anyone to be here on a regular night.

Very carefully, he lets go of his makeshift repair and starts crawling out from under the tank. He can hear a commotion in the room, hushed voices and the sound of heavy things being pushed across the floor - whatever crashed is apparently being righted again.

The door flings open and there are two guys there, one walking backwards and mostly hiding the other, taller one from Niall’s gaze. All he can see is very short, dark hair. The smaller guy is gesturing and Niall strains to hear his hushed voice say, “We put it up again, chill, Z! No one will know.”

Niall gets up and crosses his arms, clearing his throat audibly.

The taller guy jumps visibly while the smaller one freezes completely.

“Mind telling me what you’re doing here, lads?” Niall asks and smaller guy turns around slowly. He has swoopy brown hair and very blue eyes, and he’s dressed comfortably in sweats, an Adidas jumper and vans.

“You said they had no night guards,” taller guy hisses.

“We don’t,” Niall says. “I just happen to be staying behind to fix a tank. Now, what are you doing breaking into an aquarium? You know we have student discounts, don’t you?”

“We can’t very well steal a fish in broad daylight though, can we?” smaller guy says.

“Louis,” taller guy hisses but Niall can’t help laughing out loud at that.

“Well, at least you’re being honest about it. Which one did you wanna steal, then?”

“It’s because he lost a bet,” taller guy blurts out and finally takes a step out from behind smaller guy.

Niall gulps and runs a hand through his wet hair self-consciously. Smaller guy wasn’t bad on the eyes, but this one is gorgeous. Like, otherworldly. Niall’s never seen anyone this beautiful before.

“A bet?” he asks, and it comes out a bit croaky.

“He bet our other friend that he wouldn’t dare go streaking down our street, and that he’d get a fish from the aquarium if he lost,” pretty guy says, then grins a little and gives a cute shrug. “He lost, obviously.”

“Your friend went streaking?” Niall asks, already laughing again.

“I didn’t think he would,” smaller guy – Louis? – defends himself. “A few years ago he wouldn’t have!”

“And whose fault is that? You’re the one who’s corrupted Liam to no end.”

“Did you bet on a certain fish?” Niall asks. “Or can it just be any fish?”

Now both of them stare at him. “You’re not…I don’t know, calling the police on us?” Louis asks.

Niall grins, shaking his head before he crosses his arms again, hands in his armpits and pulling his shoulders up because it’s a bit chilly in his thin wet t-shirt. “Nah, this is way too funny –“

He’s interrupted when behind him, his makeshift repair breaks with a wet sound and drops heavily to the floor, followed by the drizzling sound of water.

“Shit,” he mumbles and hurries back to the broken tank, crouching down beneath it so he can reach underneath and press the cloth against the leak again.

“Is that the leak you’re supposed to be repairing?” Louis asks, coming closer. Pretty guy is close behind, eyes trained to something left of Niall’s head, the direction of – _oh_. Is pretty guy staring at Niall’s biceps? Maybe the gym time he’s put in with Harry has had some use. “No offense, mate, but you’ve done a pretty shit job so far.”

“Thanks,” Niall says sarcastically and focuses back on Louis. “I don’t actually know how to fix a massive fish tank.”

“Well, I do.” Niall stares a bit until Louis nods to reaffirm his words, and pretty guy behind him does, too.

“He does,” he says. “He’s had fish for forever, like.”

“You have fish? Why do you need to steal one, then?”

“Because Liam knows my fish! He’ll notice if I try to get away with bringing him one of mine.”

Niall hums. “You know what, why don’t we make a deal? You fix this for me and I’ll find you a fish you can show Liam. As long as you’ll bring it back in one piece by morning, that is.”

“Seriously?” Louis asks, grin going wide as Niall nods. “I’ll have it fixed in no time.”

He slides under the tank in a fluid motion and takes the cloth from Niall. There’s a loud splutter as the water apparently sprays right into his face and Niall can’t help laughing, especially when pretty guy looks at him and laughs as well.

“Seriously, Lou?” he laughs. “Didn’t you wonder why he was wet?”

“Shut up, Zayn,” Louis calls and Niall looks back at pretty guy. _Zayn_. Fits him.

Louis reappears and shakes his fringe from his eyes. “Okay, this is more difficult than I thought. Technically, you’re supposed to empty the tank to repair it, but I realise that might not be possible right now. I can fix it temporarily if you have silicone sealant in that repair kit over there. Can you check it?”

Niall kneels to look in the box. “What does “temporarily” mean in this case?”

“Until morning, hopefully. You should have a professional look at it, then. You have someone working here to fix tanks, right?”

“Yeah, ‘course. My fucking boss should’ve known this isn’t something I can fix. He’s a fucking dick.”

“That one,” Zayn says quietly and points at a red and white spray can. Niall sends him a thankful smile and hands Louis the can.

“Right. Now,” Louis says. “I need you both to come here and hold the cloth for me.”

He shows them how he needs them to crouch down beside him and hold it so he'll be able to spray the silicone as soon as they uncover the leak.

It's a wet job, but Louis manages to stop the water flowing freely eventually. They high five awkwardly, lying underneath the tank.

“I’m Niall, by the way,” Niall remembers to say. “Since I know your names, and all. Thank you for this, Louis.”

“It's not quite done yet,” Louis says, ignoring Zayn and Niall's twin groans. “Why don't you two go find a fish we can borrow while I finish this up?”

The thought of being alone with Zayn, most beautiful guy ever who might've stared at his biceps earlier, makes Niall equally nervous as excited, but he's not about to waste this chance. He grabs one of the transport boxes for smaller fish from the staff room, then waves Zayn along.

He leads him through their children's section, past Louis by the baby stingrays that can be petted if they're swimming close enough to the surface, which he explains to Zayn.

“Are they asleep now? I can’t see any stingrays,” Zayn asks, looking intrigued.

“Yeah, they’re less active now,” Niall nods. “You should come back during the day, I’ll let you pet them and make it seem not weird among all the children.”

Zayn laughs.

“So if Louis lost the bet – what are you doing here?” Niall wants to know.

“He’s very convincing.” Zayn sounds very long-suffering. “He made me come with him and I can’t even repeat his arguments. I don’t know how he does it.”

Niall grins. “Sounds difficult. But look at it this way – you’re getting a free tour through the empty aquarium.”

Zayn grins back at him. “That’s definitely the upside.”

The next exhibit is the turtle one, which – to Niall’s delight – Zayn immediately seems absolutely enthralled by. He stops and takes a step closer, turning back to Niall with a big smile.

“I’ve always loved turtles, like,” he says. “I used to want one, as a kid. I got a cat instead.” Niall giggles. “Don’t get me wrong, I love Tiger, but turtles – they’re just cool, aren’t they?”

“Very cool,” Niall agrees. “I love them. Look, that over there is Lumpy. I called him that because of the lumps on his shell. In a loving way, of course. That’s Squirt –“

“Like from Finding Nemo?”

“That exact one. I named four of them after the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, too.”

Zayn laughs, and his laugh is really cute. Especially when he seems embarrassed about the volume and lifts his hand to cover his mouth. Niall kind of wants to take a picture, so he does. Carefully, of course.

It only gets better when Zayn lets him ramble on and on about turtles and fish and everything they pass, not losing interest for a single minute. He asks questions, even, and is generally the best audience Niall’s ever had talking about marine biology.

By the time they reach the tank he’s been headed for, Niall is pretty sure he’s at least a little bit in love.

The fish he wants to loan to Zayn and Louis is a Juvenile Emperor Angelfish. Zayn seems amazed by the dark blue fish with electric blue and white rings and Niall watches him with a smile. “Maybe you know these as adult fish,” he says quietly. “Their colouring changes to yellow and blue stripes after about two years.”

“Oh, yeah!” Zayn says. “Yeah, that sounds familiar. Are you sure you can give us one of these?”

“Sure,” Niall shrugs. “Louis knows his way around fish and it’s not like we keep inventory around here. Especially if he’s back quickly, no one will look twice.”

It’s not the first time Niall’s caught a fish for transportation, so they’re on their way back to Louis very quickly. This time, Niall makes Zayn talk more, asks him about his family (three sisters) and his studies (English) and they talk non-stop until they can see Louis by the stingray tank.

“You are my hero, Niall,” Louis says, taking the transport box from Niall carefully.

“And you’re mine,” Niall laughs. “Did you fix it?”

“Hopefully it’ll be enough for the night. Someone should take a look at it first thing in the morning, though.”

Niall sighs. “Guess I’ll stay the night, then. It’s only a couple hours now, anyway.”

“Will you be alright here?” Zayn asks, sounding worried.

“Yeah, sure,” Niall smiles at him. “I’ll make my boss give me a day off for this, though.”

“You know what,” Louis interrupts. “You two should exchange numbers so Zayn can bring this little guy back tomorrow morning. He probably shouldn’t just walk through the front door.”

Niall blushes but admits it’s a good idea – plus, he’d really like Zayn’s number for other purposes, too. They’re a little bit awkward, exchanging numbers, while Louis stands by with a big grin. Niall is a little bit scared.

“Right, Zayn will see you tomorrow, then,” Louis says once they’re done. “It was nice meeting you, Niall, thanks for this. I’m sure I’ll see you again soon.”

“Hopefully not when you’re trying to steal from me again,” Niall laughs and accepts Louis’ hug, one-armed due to the box containing the fish.

“Zayn couldn’t take his eyes off you in that see-through shirt,” Louis whispers. “Just so you know.”

Then he’s gone, leaving Niall dumbfounded. He looks down at his white shirt, now dry again. It could well have been see-through while wet. Fuck.

Zayn hugs him too, carefully and possibly a little too long. “Thank you, Niall,” he says. “I’ll see you in the morning?”

“Y-Yeah,” Niall stutters. “Can’t wait.”

Zayn’s smile turns shy and soft. “Me either.”

They leave through the staff room again and Niall drops onto the floor heavily, back against the stingray tank. What a night.

He keeps busy checking the leak regularly, leaving a message on one of the mechanic’s answering machine and texting Zayn. Apparently Liam didn’t believe them until Zayn showed him some of the pictures on his phone. He sends them to Niall as well: it’s a collection of snapshots of fish, a wet Louis, Louis and Niall by the stingray tank, Niall looking at the turtles and a selfie Zayn took with Niall catching the fish in the back.

Morning comes relatively quickly, and Niall is more than happy to give up responsibility for the damn broken tank. He’s changed into his staff hoodie and is in the process of filling in his time report – he’s so due a holiday – when his phone buzzes with another text from Zayn.

_I’m outside the staff door :) let me in?_

When he opens the door, Zayn’s there carrying the transport box and two cups of coffee. “Morning,” he smiles, and Niall’s heart starts racing. Still the same in the daylight, apparently.

“Good morning,” he says and lets Zayn in. “Is that coffee?”

“Figured it’s the least I could do,” Zayn shrugs and hands him one.

Niall wraps both hands around the warm cup and inhales the smell. “Perfect, thank you.”

They stay in the staff room until they’ve drained their cups, leaning against a table. They’re close enough for their shoulders to touch and when he’s finished his coffee, Niall gathers his courage and leans his head against Zayn’s shoulder.

“I’m so tired,” he mumbles.

Zayn chuckles, his shoulder vibrating. “I figured. Shall we return the fish so you can get into bed?”

This early, the aquarium is empty except for the occasional early riser and a single school class, so it’s no trouble putting the fish back into its tank unnoticed. It’s Zayn who carries the conversation now, Niall’s way too tired. He still listens to Zayn’s chatter happily.

They grab Niall’s stuff from the staff room and head out together, stopping at the car park.

“Well,” Niall says, unsure what the protocol is.

“Well,” Zayn parrots, then reaches out to nudge Niall lightly. “Hey, so I was thinking…I didn’t get to pet the baby stingrays.”

“Oh! You didn’t,” Niall remembers. “Guess you’ll have to come back again.”

“Guess I’ll have to,” Zayn grins. “I was also thinking that I could maybe take you out for dinner some time as reimbursement for your troubles.”

“As reimbursement?”

“Well, not just that,” Zayn says, rubbing the back of his neck. “As a date, maybe?”

Niall smiles. His heart is beating pretty quickly again. “I’d love that.”

“Yeah? Cool. That’s…great.” Zayn looks pleased, and then he rocks forward onto his tiptoes to press a quick kiss to Niall’s cheek. “Text me when you’re up?”

“For sure,” Niall promises, face hot.

His car is close by and he just sits for a minute, dumb smile plastered to his face. Before he can drive, he checks his phone and finds another text from Zayn.

It’s a picture of Niall from the previous night, looking at the camera, at Zayn, with a bright smile, illuminated by the blue light of the aquarium next to him.

_Love your smile. x_


	27. packing up / open up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “i’m knocking on your door 3am in the morning but you’re not my friend. but i need a beer and possibly a hug because my gf broke up with me” au.  
> &  
> “taking out the garbage aka old gifts and pictures of my bf and oh god i accidentally dropped everything in front of you, but wow you’re handsome so i don’t mind this” au.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i stumbled across these AUs yesterday and wrote a combination today within like an hour as stress relief from my uni work? hope it's alright.  
> the title is very loosely inspired by _go your own way_ by fleetwood mac because i've been listening to niall's spotify playlist too much and DYING over how ziall it is... :(

„Harry, open up!“ Niall yelled, knocking at his best friend’s door again. “This is serious, I’m serious!”

There were steps behind the door and Niall lifted his forehead off the smooth surface of the wooden door and tried to steady himself on the frame instead. He was ready to rib Harry for taking so long, but when the door opened it wasn’t his curly haired friend standing there, but a gorgeous dark haired bloke who looked like he’d just woken up.

“What are you doing in Harry’s room?” Niall asked, dumbfounded.

“Um, mate, this is my room,” the guy said. “Dunno who this Harry is.”

“My best friend!” Niall cried “Who I really need right now!”

“Wait, mate, it’s the middle of the – oh for fuck’s sake, just come in for a minute, will you? You’re waking up the whole dorm.” He pulled Niall into the room that really definitely wasn’t Harry’s – Harry would never put up this kind of art, or…or _spray paint a wall_ , for that matter.

“Is that allowed?” Niall asked incredulously, pointing towards the painting, and the boy shrugged.

“Probably not, but what are they gonna do? Don’t worry, I’ll paint it over before I move out.”

“It’s sick,” Niall said honestly and was rewarded with a breathtaking smile. Holy shit, whoever this bloke was, he was _beautiful_.

“Alright, so why don’t you tell me why you need your best friend and where we’ll find him? Do you know his address? No offense, mate, but you’re pissed.”

“Yeah, well,” Niall whined, “I have every right to! My girlfriend just dumped me because she found out I’m bi and she says she can’t deal with not being able to trust me even when I’m out with my guy friends. What the fuck? So now I didn’t only get dumped but also find out I was dating a biphobic ass the whole time! What else can I do?”

“No, like, that’s really shit, mate,” pretty guy said. “Sorry about that. Reckon you’re better off without her, yeah?”

“Say that again once I’ve had some time to mope,” Niall mumbled. “I just wanted a beer and a hug from my best friend.”

“Yeah, ‘course, I get that. Where does this…Harry, was it? Where does he live?”

“Here!” Niall said. “That’s the strange thing, I know I’m in the right dorm cause I live here too, on the first floor. He’s in room 405.”

“Well,” the guy laughed a little, like a giggle maybe, “that explains it. This is 305, you’re a floor too low. But hey, it’s 5am, why don’t we wait an hour or two until we wake up your friend? I happen to have some beer in the fridge and I’ve been told I give great hugs, if you want.”

~

Niall clutched the rubbish bag more tightly under his arm and shouldered the door open, balancing the heavy box in his arms. He’d been with Olivia for about a year, but they’d both been the types to commemorate everything with a framed picture or a personal gift that meant something to them. Which, over the time of the relationship had given him way too many picture frames, pillowcases, mugs and photo albums with their pictures or names on them. He had to get rid of a huge box and a rubbish bag of stuff, all labelled with something like “Liv & Niall”, “To Niall from Livvie”, “Love always, Liv”, and it annoyed him to no end.

Harry said that was good, finding things about her that annoyed him and would’ve done so if they’d continued dating for longer, because he’d seriously considered trying to get her back even after the shitty things she’d said. But she’d been the only girl Niall had dated at uni so far, and he had to admit he’d felt lost without her at first.

It was better now, though, and six weeks later he’d finally managed to clean out his room and get rid of the things she’d left behind. He wasn’t even sure anymore if he’d really loved her, or if it was just that she was familiar.

Obviously, the elevator was out of order today of all days, but Niall only lived on the first floor so it wasn’t too far to the waste containers outside behind the dorm. The most difficult parts were the doors he had to push open with his shoulder, but he was walking up to the last one before he was outside.

It was a heavy one so he leaned against it with his full weight, only someone pulled from the outside in that exact moment and Niall lost his footing, stumbled forward and knocked his shoulder into the person coming in, dropped his bag and the box which split open and spilled all the memories he’d made with Olivia onto the ground in front of the dorm.

“Shit,” he muttered and dropped to his knees before he looked up to the person he’d run into. “Sorry –“

“Niall?” It was the guy whose room Niall had drunkenly mistaken for Harry’s weeks ago. “I’m so sorry, are you alright?”

“Fine, don’t worry,” Niall mumbled, could feel his face flush. This guy was even prettier now that he was sober and they met during the day – but he knew Niall’s name and Niall didn’t know his. “How do you know my name?”

“Uh,” was that a blush? “Um, remember how I helped you get upstairs to your best friend’s actual room that night? You do remember knocking on my door, don’t you?”

“Yeah, yes,” Niall stuttered. They’d _cuddled_. He’d _cried_. “Yeah, I wasn’t that drunk. Just didn’t think we ever got to introductions.”

“Good, cool. Anyway, um, he sort of said your name? Harry, when he opened the door. That’s how I know.”

“Oh,” Niall said, then repeated it when the guy knelt down next to him and started picking up the things Niall had dropped.

“This her?” he asked, then grinned crookedly. “The biphobic ass?”

Niall laughed a little. “Yeah, that’s her. I thought it was time I threw these out. Pretty sure I’m over her, actually.”

“Oh?” the guy said. He was wearing a simple white t-shirt and his tattoo sleeves were a stark contrast to it. A hot one. “Good for you. Like I said, you deserve better.”

“So will you ever tell me your name?” Niall asked, gathering up his courage. He’d made a total ass of himself in front of this guy but he didn’t wanna let him go the second time without trying to flirt at least a little bit. “Feel like I’m at a disadvantage here, mate.”

He was rewarded with another laugh for that. “I’m Zayn. Glad I ran into you again.”

“Hi, Zayn,” Niall grinned. “Me, too. A chance to show you I’m not always as much of an arse, even when I’m drunk.”

“I didn’t think you were an arse,” Zayn said. “But even if, you’d have had every right.”

“Anyway, you really don’t have to help me pick this up,” Niall deflected, unsure how to react. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“It’s no bother, like,” Zayn smiled. “I wasn’t busy anyway.”

“Well…what if I told you I was embarrassed you keep seeing me in my efforts to get over some girl?”

“I’d say there’s no need to be embarrassed,” Zayn wasn’t looking at Niall now, focusing on the box instead. “And that I don’t mind cause it gives me hope I can ask you out soon-ish?”

Niall froze. Jesus fucking _Christ_.

“Anyway, I’ll just carry these to the waste containers, yeah? The box is fucked and you’d have to take several trips…” Zayn stopped talking and started backing away from where Niall was still kneeling on the ground, Zayn’s arms full of the scraps of Niall’s relationship with Olivia. It was sort of ironic.

By the time Niall had unfrozen, gathered his thoughts and the rest of the stuff lying around, Zayn had already thrown away everything he’d carried. Niall rushed up to the waste containers and threw the rubbish bag in without even looking.

“Zayn, wait!” he called, and Zayn stopped in his tracks where he’d been trying to hurry away. When Niall reached him, he was blushing bright red.

“I don’t know why I said that,” he started explaining, “I mean, I sort of meant it but also not because I want to give you time –“

“Zayn?” Niall said with a pleasant smile. “Shut up. If you meant what you just said – you can ask me out anytime. Like, I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship right away but I’d love to get to know you better because I think you’re crazy beautiful and funny and nice and you give amazing hugs. So.”

Zayn was grinning wide and bright when Niall was finished. “Seriously? That’s perfect.”

They just stood there smiling at each other dumbly for a moment before Niall laughed. “Right. Shall I just give you my number, then?”

Zayn ran a hand through his hair and grinned sheepishly. “Yeah, cool. I’ll text you.”

And when Niall watched Zayn leave a few minutes later, smiling down at his phone and two fingers on his cheek where Niall had kissed it, he felt a soft tug in his heart.

The butterflies in his stomach had probably already been there the first night he’d met Zayn purely because he was the most beautiful person Niall had ever seen, but this was a promising sign. Niall had a good feeling.


	28. stuck on you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zayn owns a record shop. niall is a regular visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a very short drabble for fun :) i have more planned for today and/or tomorrow!

He really needs to get this thing under control, Niall thinks as he leaves the shop for the umpteenth time. His job as a junior researcher doesn't pay enough to be able to afford this every day.

He still goes back the next day.

And the next.

*

“Shit,” Niall mumbles under his breath and turns back to the selection of records in front of him. He's been caught staring again, and when he dares look again, the guy behind the register is still looking his way. Fuck. His name is Zayn, that much Niall has found out during his regular visits, and he seems to own the record store. He's also undeniably the most attractive human Niall has ever seen, which is why he keeps coming back with the vague intention to maybe ask him out - only to chicken out and stare like a creeper. He's also the reason Niall's studio flat is filling up with records he; except for the occasional lucky pick; doesn't know and/or like, because here's what usually happens: eventually, Niall gets caught staring and panics, grabs the first record he sees and pays for it – beet red most likely – before fleeing the shop.

It's just that Zayn seems to be too good to be true. He's not just beautiful, he's funny and nice, loves his mum and sisters (he was on the phone once when Niall was there, so what?) and he's really smart. The perfect guy, Niall thinks and heads towards Zayn this time as well, in his hand the debut album by some Swedish alternative metal band from the 70s.

Zayn snorts quietly when he checks it out and Niall looks up in shock at getting more than his usual generic responses.

“Mate, you have the weirdest taste in music of anyone I know,” he laughs and okay, his laugh is perfect too.

“...uh?” Eloquent.

“It's just…you've been buying really obscure things since you came here for the first time, but the mixture is what really gets me. I just can't figure you out.”

“You want to figure me out?” Niall asks, still trying to process that Zayn remembers him when he notices the other man blushing.

“Sorry, that probably sounded really creepy -”

“Not as creepy as someone buying weird shit from a person just to see them again,” Niall interrupts and then covers his mouth in shock. He didn't mean to share that. Ever.

But Zayn just laughs, writes something down on his receipt. “Ok, you win. But I’ve been kind of hoping that was it? So I put down my number on your receipt so maybe we can go out some time and you'll tell me about the kind of music you actually like so I can give you some recommendations?”

Niall tries not to seem too eager when he carefully takes the receipt, giving Zayn his most charming smile. It's not easy because he's pretty sure he's never been more embarrassed, but he thinks Zayn might be worth it. “I'd love that.”


	29. after the game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> niall’s an athlete and zayn’s a sports journalist, pwp, semi-public sex. oops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> second one today, and the third one is already lined up!  
> um, i don’t know? i’m in bed sick and bored (avoiding my responsibilities), don’t look at me  
> also i'll be ending this collection after 30 chapters because it's getting too long but i'll definitely be starting a new one after :)

“So what particularly rude thing did you have to say about me today?” Niall asks when he spots the person walking into the empty locker room. The whole team has left long ago, only he's still here, wearing only a towel around his hips from after his shower.

“Oh, just wondered out loud who you have to be sleeping with to still be allowed to play.” It's Zayn Malik, unfairly successful sports journalist considering he'd never planned to get into this field of journalism in the first place, and to the public, Niall's nemesis.

“Oh, well,” Niall murmurs and slowly makes his way over to Zayn, hooking two fingers through a belt loop. “That is a good question. No one’d ever guess.”

Zayn grins, palms sliding along Niall's bare hips to his lower back. “I see you haven't even dressed yet, aiming for a locker room shag again?”

Niall shrugs and starts unbuttoning Zayn's shirt, leaning forward to bite at his collarbone. “It's been a few weeks, don't think I'm asking too much if I want to spice up our sex life every now and then, am I?”

Niall's towel drops to the floor with one harsh tug from Zayn. “Not at all,” Zayn all but growls and then Niall's back is pressed against the cold steel of the lockers behind him and he's moaning into Zayn's mouth.

“Had some time waiting for you,” Niall mumbles when Zayn's lips wander from his mouth to his jaw. “Did some preparation.”

Zayn stills and then pulls back to look at Niall. “Are you serious?”

Niall grins filthily and grabs Zayn's hand, places it right underneath his left butt cheek, and Zayn's eyes widen further. The grin slides off Niall's face when Zayn pushes one finger right in, helpless moan falling from his lips.

“You like that?” Zayn groans. “Yeah, you like it rough? Turn around for me, babe.”

Niall scrambles to do as he says, faces the lockers and presses his palms to them, sticks his butt out just a little.

Zayn hums happily, squeezes with both hands and then rubs his thumb against Niall's hole. Niall's forehead bumps against the locker.

Zayn pushes in two fingers this time, scissors them a little, but Niall already got this far by himself earlier so he makes an impatient sound and spreads his legs further.

“D’you need more lube, babe?” Zayn wants to know. “For the third finger.”

“No,” Niall gasps when said finger grazes his rim. “Fuck me.”

Zayn pulls his hand away but then he's suddenly on his knees behind Niall, nose nudging his thigh lightly, followed by a butterfly kiss that makes Niall shiver. “Need to prepare you, darling,” he whispers and it's all the warning Niall gets before Zayn's mouth is on his rim, tongue peeking out against his hole.

Zayn's so good at this that Niall's knees actually buckle when he adds a finger alongside his tongue, and eventually a second one. He's satisfied when Niall starts thinking he can't take it any longer, moans echoing through the locker room, and finally gets up again.

He lets Niall turn around to face him again but keeps his hands pinned to the locker above his head and kisses him, refusing to give Niall the relief he so desperately needs, rutting up against Zayn's thigh still covered by his jeans.

“Please, Zayn,” Niall whimpers. “Please fuck me.”

It works this time and Zayn lets Niall's wrist go, allowing him to reach down and pull on Zayn's zipper just enough to reach his hard cock, shove his pants down just far enough. He gives a couple of rough tugs and watches how Zayn’s head falls back, mouth opening in pleasure. Niall slides his hand from Zayn’s hip over his stomach and up his chest, rests it against the side of Zayn’s neck. He speeds up his hand and leans in to whisper hoarsely, “Come on.”

Niall clings to Zayn's shoulders when Zayn pushes in, gripping Niall's thigh hard enough to leave crescent shaped marks with his fingernails.

“You'll still be able to feel me during your next game,” Zayn promises on a moan and Niall pulls on his hair harshly, bites his neck.

“I'll leave a visible mark for your next TV broadcast.”

They lose all sense of speech soon after, clinging to each other as the lockers in Niall's back rattle and shake.

“I love you so much,” Zayn groans and it only takes that and a single stroke of Niall's cock for him to spill messily between the two of them. Zayn comes a few seconds later, pushing up into Niall twice more and then collapsing against him.

Niall manoeuvres him to a bench gently and grabs his towel from the floor to clean them both up, then sits down in Zayn's lap. “Tell you what,” he says. “You'll drive me home now and then we'll take a nice hot bath together because _I_ should be the exhausted one.”

Zayn laughs and pulls him closer. “Shut up.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Niall grins. “I love you, too.”


	30. writings on the wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "someone wrote i’m cute in the bathroom stall and your notes match the handwriting” AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone who's ever left kudos or a comment on this collection, it means more than i can say!! i'll start a new one very soon :)  
> very very short drabble to end this one x

Niall's still thinking about it when he sits down for his next class, smile a permanent fixture on his face. _Niall Horan is cute_ , it said on the wall of the bathroom stall. The boy's room. Niall didn't know there were other boys at his school who'd go for boys if given the chance, but it seems there are.

There's only one boy at his school Niall's genuinely interested in (that's putting it lightly, if he's being honest), but maybe that'd change if he can find out who wrote his name on the bathroom wall. Maybe it's enough to finally get his mind off Zayn Malik.

The first day of the school year, when Niall was placed next to Zayn for this class, he couldn't believe his luck, but now he curses their teacher for it. Because the small distant crush he had on the boy has in the weeks since grown into this awful beast that Niall can't control, that makes him incapable of acting normal around Zayn.

Like now, when Zayn smiles at him and tells him Hi as he walks in, and Niall just freezes. Zayn must think him stupid.

He really needs to find out who his secret admirer is so he can start focusing on biology again.

Halfway through class, Zayn suddenly pushes a note across the table to Niall. _are you alright?_ it says, and Niall stares at it for way too long considering the message isn't all that complicated. It's just...Zayn's used all caps and his handwriting is familiar because Niall's been staring at it for five minutes in the boy's room. Can _Zayn_ be his secret admirer?

He considers wishful thinking but what are the odds of someone else using all caps and them looking this similar? Niall didn't think these things happened outside of movies but there's only one way of finding out. He takes a deep breath, writes _your cute too ;-)_ and pushes the note back to Zayn.

He watches Zayn's reaction closely, sees how his eyes widen and he flushes a deep red. When he turns to Niall though, he's smiling a little shyly. “You saw?” Zayn mouths and Niall shrugs sheepishly, smiles back.

“I'm glad it was you who wrote it.”

Zayn bites his lip to dim his grin and Niall's gaze drops down, he suddenly feels hot all over. He _really_ wants to kiss Zayn.

Zayn definitely notices and he grins wider, licks his lower lip teasingly. “You wanna hang out sometime?”

“Yeah,” Niall breathes and nods a little too enthusiastically.

They get called out by their teacher for talking during class but Zayn's knee nudges Niall's under the table and he's pretty sure he'll never care about anything else ever again.

 


End file.
